Dumped by my fiancé for being pregnant with his child — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

Dumped by my fiancé for being pregnant with his child

That's right. I am 8 weeks and 4 days pregnant and got dumped for being pregnant. We were together 4 years and now I am afraid and doing everything by myself all on my own. Any support from other mommies or soon to be mommies in a similar situation? I need advice on how to calm down from all this stress.

Re: Dumped by my fiancé for being pregnant with his child

  • roziekroziek member
    I'm not in your position but so sorry you are going through this :( sounds like you may be better off without him. I'm sure you're a strong person and through the support of your fam and friends I pray that you can get through your pregnancy just fine! Sending positive thoughts your way...
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  • ches1xxches1xx member
    Well if he didn't want a baby then he should of put something on it ! He may b just shocked and trying to get his head round it but still sounds like u r better off without him try talking to someone close to u about it don't worry u will b a great mommy with or with out him h&h 9months x
  • Wow, what an asshat. So would he have divorced you if you were already married? I'm sorry OP, no matter how you decide to move forward I wish you the best.
  • I agree with others, you seem to have dodged a bullet. It might be harder on your own many times, but I feel like being married to/raising a child with someone who would ultimately treat you like that would be worse in  the long run. You have all of our support and prayers!
  • I'm sure it seems like the worst thing right now but he sounds like a dick. Tons of woman have to raise their children alone, if they can do it, so can you. Hopefully you have family to lean on? Just try to keep thinking that you can do this!
  • kmcc14kmcc14 member
    So sorry OP.  I know it's hard, but it's much easier to call off an engagement than to get a divorce.  Make sure you take that ass for child support.  Domestic relations is your friend.  Depending on your income, you may qualify for subsidized child care and health insurance when the baby comes.  There is a lot of good information on the Single Parent's board here too.  Best of luck to you.
    Me: 30 DH: 35 
    TTC #1 - Jan 2015
    BFP on 5/13/15
    DD born 1/24/16
    TTC #2 - Jun 2017
    BFP on 8/24/17
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • Same thing happened to my sister (just a bf not her fiancé though). In exchange for no child support she had him legally sign away all of his rights. She was 19 at the time living in Florida (we are from NY). She moved home with my mom. 6 years later she and my niece are fine and so happy. Of course it's not as easy as doing it with a partner but it is totally DOABLE. Terrible that you have to go through the stress of a break-up. Thoughts and prayers to you!!
  • KareninKarenin member
    edited June 2015
    I'm so sorry. what a terrible situation but i agree with other posters- if this is his reaction you are better off knowing now. Make sure to document things and research your legal options for support, and of course let your family and friends know that you need support. Also we are all here for you!

    BabyFruit Ticker'><a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Advice"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1c6014.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

  • Plenty of women before you have done this! They have done it beautifully. You are a strong independent woman. He may have shook your foundation but you can continue building without him. Best of Luck!
  • I went through that with my first... I was 16 and dude was a bum he broke up with me at first then when I started getting support he was back all over me. I didn't go after child support because when I broke up with him he said if he didn't have me he didn't want the baby and I didn't want him in my sons life at all with that type of attitude. If you want child support though I would start getting ready for that now! Most importantly don't think that you can't do this just because you are alone because you can! Much love dear don't let the drama ruin this precious time!
  • I'm in a relatively kinda same situation my fiancé wants me to get rid of the baby but is kinda coming around to the idea I guess but than changes his mind again. He has an18 month old with someone else and they have a lot of issues so I think that's why. But I haven't been dumped but I've threated to leave. Don't be scared of doig it alone just because he's not here other people will be there for you.
    I'm in another country by myself and I terrified if he leaves me because I have no family or friends .

    Women can do anything .
  • Im so sorry your going through this. I was in sort of the same boat with my boyfriend. I have 2 older kids and him and i have 2 together. When we found out we were pregnant he freaked and wanted nothing to do with me if i didnt get an abortion. Well a few weeks went by of me not talking to him and now he has changed his tune. He knows the baby is coming and there is nothing he can do about it. I hope it all works out for you i understand how much it sucks. Men just deal with pregnancy diffrent than women.
  • I'm sorry you are going through this OP. I know hearing "plenty of women have done this alone before you" isn't making things easier.
    Right now you are in your emotional prime, but I promise, when that baby is born and you look in their beautiful little eyes you'll know exactly what to do.
    I know you will make it through and you will kick butt as a single mother. Don't be afraid to ask for help (family, friends, government) - then get the sorry ass hat for child support. You can do this!

    Also, to the ladies who's SO/FH/husband who has told them to get an abortiom.....
    Mark my words, if ANYONE suggests to me I get an abortion I will remove them from my life... There will be no silent treatment, no "oh, they will come around". People like that, don't come around - they need to be removed from your babies life. - that's my two cents.
    I would never want to be with someone who didn't want my baby to
    begin with.
    From the day I got my BFP I have loved my unborn child, and I don't want anyone who doesn't love it to be apart of it's life... Thats just how I feel.
  • Kind of as an aside since there have been a few posts about unsupportive partners lately, I don't think a partner discussing an abortion is inappropriate-this was an accident, and that is a perfectly reasonable option. However, once you say no, it needs to be dropped immediately.

    Yes to all of this
  • Your baby is going to be such a blessing. He's an idiot. Don't let him bring you down :)
  • Sounds like an A-hole.  You're better off without him.  Get the paperwork going on the child support early.  I've heard from friends that in our state, it took them 6 months to start getting child support payments.  You deserve it from him.
  • Just don't over think everything you will be just fine i raised two kids on my own am now engaged and expecting number 3 it gets stressful but you can definitely overcome this! God doesnt put mountains in front of us we cannot climb!
  • I understand how you feel my boyfriend of two years isn't being the nicest about the pregnancy and he's mentioned abortion and honestly I'm like I'll abort him before my baby my baby isn't an option but he is! Just make sure you're ready to do this alone if you have to and stick to what you feel! So many women do this alone! You can too doll! Xoxoxo
  • That happened to my sister. He didn't even recognize the kid as his until she was 14. Wanted nothing to do with her. Now she talks to him and visits.
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