Babysitting Thoughts and Advices! — The Bump
June 2015 Moms

Babysitting Thoughts and Advices!

Post thoughts and provide advices about baby sitting!!!! We have to come prepared! :-bd

Re: Babysitting Thoughts and Advices!

  • Yesterday discussing baby sitting.
    We are thankful to have three granfdparents, three great grandparents, aunties then friends that wants to baby sit.

    However, when that time comes; Great Grandma is always pushy and telling me to make sure she gets to baby sit FIRST. I know I am going for my mom, mil and step-mil then aunties first before great grandparents! I am afraid to tell Great Grandma H that she cannot babysit our baby without supervisor since she is bi-polar, not stabled, and went off her meds & sometimes she does not remember. How am I going to be comfortable? Even mother in law told me DO not let her baby sit and that is her own mother... lol imagine that. But I know Great Grandpa will enjoy, he is great with kids...ughhhh. (they are in early 70s very actived) I am so stuck in between!

    I don't want to say no...all the way. I mean I thought well, if I want to clean my house she could come over and watch while I clean my house or ride horses or do yard work and come in to check on them?
  • edited May 2015
    kherman14 said:

    Yesterday discussing baby sitting.
    We are thankful to have three granfdparents, three great grandparents, aunties then friends that wants to baby sit.

    However, when that time comes; Great Grandma is always pushy and telling me to make sure she gets to baby sit FIRST. I know I am going for my mom, mil and step-mil then aunties first before great grandparents! I am afraid to tell Great Grandma H that she cannot babysit our baby without supervisor since she is bi-polar, not stabled, and went off her meds & sometimes she does not remember. How am I going to be comfortable? Even mother in law told me DO not let her baby sit and that is her own mother... lol imagine that. But I know Great Grandpa will enjoy, he is great with kids...ughhhh. (they are in early 70s very actived) I am so stuck in between!

    I don't want to say no...all the way. I mean I thought well, if I want to clean my house she could come over and watch while I clean my house or ride horses or do yard work and come in to check on them?

    If it were me, I would not be letting this woman babysit, even for short periods while you're doing chores. Her heart is absolutely in the right place but baby's safety needs to come first. The fact that your MIL is even saying this is a good sign that your hesitation is justified. If you're worried about hurting her feelings, maybe come up with other things she can help with. Maybe she could do laundry for you for the first several weeks? My godmother said that her MIL did this for them twice a week when her first child was born and it was one of the most helpful things anyone did for her.

    I totally understand why you're feeling bad, though. My SIL is a sweetheart but she unfortunately suffers from mental illness as well and is also unstable. DH and I are both on the same page in saying that we definitely want LO to spend time with her, but under our supervision. You just never know what could happen. She lives several hours away from us, however, so this issue is unlikely to come up very often. Good luck!
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  • We are also very lucky in the fact that we have both my parents and in laws close by along with my sister. All of them we have trusted with watching DD at some point but I do think that when it comes to your children you need to be very picky with who you let watch them even with family.n we definitely rely more heavily on my own parents because my in laws just DO NOT LISTEN to us and how we want DD taken care of. When she was little we told MIL no blankets no stuffed animals in the crib and I'd come home from work and find blankets and stuffed animals in the crib. Drove me nuts and still does. We keep trying to give them chances to watch her like when we went out on a date night but then we found out that her dinner was an ice cream cone and a milk shake-that's it. So now we have them come over and visit but we don't let them watch her alone and she will be staying with my parents when we go to the hospital. @karaelaine1991 had a great idea about letting that concerning family member come over and help with house chores that way they still feel involved but you're not a bundle of nerves the whole time they're there! Stand strong and good luck!
    karaelaine1991KaLikeAWindkherman14
  • ksimo6ksimo6
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    @kherman14 My sister is also bipolar and not great about taking her meds. She is not allowed to babysit. I just told her that we have plenty if other baby sitters and that I would bring the kids by to visit. You don't need to make an issue about it.
    • Married 6/1/2012
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    karaelaine1991kherman14LaurenAnn0405mccall35
  • slr1229slr1229
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    What's the input on how early you can leave your baby with say grandma for 1 night? 3 months too early?
    kherman14
  • edited May 2015
    slr1229 said:
    What's the input on how early you can leave your baby with say grandma for 1 night? 3 months too early?


    I am going to be very cautious about how young LO will be before I leave her away from me for a whole night. I can't speak as to when will be developmentally too early, but, speaking for myself, I don't think I would be able to do it when she's 3 months old - not because I don't think she'd be able to handle it (though, to be honest, I do think 3 months is young), but because I don't think I would be able to! I think most likely your pediatrician would be able to give you the very best answer to this. 

    ETA quote fail
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  • slr1229 said:

    What's the input on how early you can leave your baby with say grandma for 1 night? 3 months too early?



    I am going to be very cautious about how young LO will be before I leave her away from me for a whole night. I can't speak as to when will be developmentally too early, but, speaking for myself, I don't think I would be able to do it when she's 3 months old - not because I don't think she'd be able to handle it (though, to be honest, I do think 3 months is young), but because I don't think I would be able to! I think most likely your pediatrician would be able to give you the very best answer to this. 

    ETA quote fail


    Agreed on this!

    It's been a point of contention amongst me and my MIL, because she keeps planning and buying things as if she's babysitting him when he's very young, but I'll just keep saying no.

    The party line is, "we'll ask for babysitters when we're ready." May be sooner, may be later.

    Lol I'm slightly "don't touch my baby" right now.
    karaelaine1991KaLikeAWindLaurenAnn0405joyfuljenny
  • edited May 2015
    Same here, @Westypet! I bought a baby wrap in addition to our baby bjorn carrier specifically because I can claim LO is too comfy and doesn't want to move if I don't want to let other people hold her when we're out and about or at family events haha
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  • Whoa! you got it tough! I hope my mil doesn't ACTUALLY have my ds sleeping in his crib IN her bedroom...... cuz she had her son staying in her bedroom in different bed til he was THREE years old. They have a huge house...I couldn't understand why she did that and there was a spare bedroom.
  • @Westypet what does your husband say about leaving baby with his parents? I sometimes forget to take DH into consideration and just assume the "I'm not comfortable with it. NOPE" position.

    I'm totally with you on not leaving baby with your in laws for the wedding
    klkonwikaraelaine1991KaLikeAWindLaurenAnn0405
  • mvargas12 said:

    @Westypet what does your husband say about leaving baby with his parents? I sometimes forget to take DH into consideration and just assume the "I'm not comfortable with it. NOPE" position.

    I'm totally with you on not leaving baby with your in laws for the wedding

    In general, he's very much go-with-the-flow with leaving LO with them. He thinks them being a bit overexcited is a good thing, since there will come a time where we want to get away for dinner or a movie or have some quiet time. And if we are only okay with being gone for an hour, then we only leave him for an hour. But he made it very clear that we both have to be on board with leaving him with someone before we do. So he may be okay before I am.

    But for the wedding? He agrees that it's going to suck taking a baby on the plane, but knows it's important for to be able to travel with him at some point. I think he's gonna let me win this one.
    karaelaine1991KaLikeAWindmvargas12LaurenAnn0405
  • I try to be annoyed, but my grammar skills have gone out the window on this board. I'm normally a nazi about it, but I've lost my skillz, apparently. Rereading my comments and posts sometimes makes me shudder.

    I'm a hypocrite lol.
    karaelaine1991KaLikeAWindAddelieaj1327
  • My fiancé and I have our wedding booked for December 4th... We booked it before we found out about baby! I think if we had known about the baby first, we would have planned something very small. However, we're going through with the big wedding and honeymoon afterwards. I'm already freaking out about leaving the baby when she's 6 months old. I don't think bringing her on our trip would be the best idea though, so I just have to get used to the thought of leaving her home. I think my mother-in-law will be very good with her and of course my mom might end up watching her for some of the week. I'm not worried about their abilities, I'm just worried about leaving my baby! I think of things like will I have enough milk pumped and saved for her? Will being away kill my supply even if I pump? Will I miss her so much I won't be able to enjoy our honeymoon? Stuff like that.
    karaelaine1991KaLikeAWind
  • slr1229slr1229
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    Will be a see as we go decision. My closest cousins wedding and even if it means going for 1 night I'm going to try (knowing I most likely will flake).
  • aj1327aj1327
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    We will be going to a wedding in April of 2016, so baby will be about 10 months. I'm planning on leaving him overnight then...honestly that might be the first time!
    klkonwi
  • joyfuljennyjoyfuljenny
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    edited June 2015
    Same here, @Westypet! I bought a baby wrap in addition to our baby bjorn carrier specifically because I can claim LO is too comfy and doesn't want to move if I don't want to let other people hold her when we're out and about or at family events haha
    Yes, this is my planned strategy, too! I figure if I'm wearing her in the wrap it should cut back on people asking to hold her. I just don't think I'm going to be ready to pass her around much for awhile!

    That said, my in-laws will be wonderful, helpful babysitters, and my husband was asking last night how soon we could consider leaving her with them to go out to dinner or a movie. I think I'd feel comfortable with that around 3-ish months, but I can't imagine leaving her overnight for several months. We'll just have to see how we feel as time goes along.
    WestypetKaLikeAWindLaurenAnn0405karaelaine1991
  • We have an event in mid September but thankfully it will be close by. My parents will come and watch him but I am super happy that we will get to come home after and not stay away. We have a wedding far enough away where we could stay overnight in January but I'm gonna wait to see about that. My DH might want to but for me it's actually the thought of spending the money on a hotel when we have the ability to drive home. It might be nice for us though so we will see.
    LaurenAnn0405
  • I'm in a wedding October 3rd that requires 2 nights away. It's basically a destination wedding on the tip of Long Island but at the scale of a full blown Catholic wedding. Both brides and grooms families are 4.5 hours away so literally every guest has to pay for hotel stay. It actually really annoys me but it's my best friend so what can I do. Any who, bridal party is getting hair and make up done at 7am the day of, for a 12 pm ceremony followed by a 5 pm reception... So I have to decide what would be worse, driving 4.5 hours with a 3 month old or leaving him for 2 nights with my in laws, because I already have to leave my dog with my parents. I hate this wedding so much and add to that trying to fit back into the bridesmaid dress I bought pre preg. Not a happy camper.
  • I'm in a wedding October 3rd that requires 2 nights away. It's basically a destination wedding on the tip of Long Island but at the scale of a full blown Catholic wedding. Both brides and grooms families are 4.5 hours away so literally every guest has to pay for hotel stay. It actually really annoys me but it's my best friend so what can I do. Any who, bridal party is getting hair and make up done at 7am the day of, for a 12 pm ceremony followed by a 5 pm reception... So I have to decide what would be worse, driving 4.5 hours with a 3 month old or leaving him for 2 nights with my in laws, because I already have to leave my dog with my parents. I hate this wedding so much and add to that trying to fit back into the bridesmaid dress I bought pre preg. Not a happy camper.

    I'm in a wedding out of town during the same exact weekend, but we're flying. It's going to be rough, but I'm going to try to see it as a way to take a semi-vacation with the hubs.

    We'll see!

    image
    SerenamarrKaLikeAWindLaurenAnn0405
  • Yeah! Weddings...is difficult! Both of us are in wedding in September. 8 hours away... so ds would be 3 months! It will be so tricky!
    LaurenAnn0405
  • @Serenamarr - can MIL go with you? With driving it wouldn't be really any more expensive. Then you don't have to "leave" the baby but could still have fun!
    47923angvirginiaunicorn11
  • Ya this one for us is in Vegas so definitely a no baby zone. My sister has three kids (youngest is 7) and is the best with babies so I wouldn't have a problem leaving baby with her- more for me feeling like I shouldn't leave!
    Westypet
  • My SIL is getting married in September when LO will be roughly 3 months old. It's within driving distance of our house, but I have no intention of taking baby. My plan is to take him at the beginning for pictures and then have my mom or sister take him back to our house (they live about 2 hours away). I don't want to take him because I know that he'll wind up in a game of pass the baby and likely in the arms of a stranger. At the beginning of cold and flu season. Nope. I think I will take him to the rehearsal dinner as that will be close family and friends, but I guess I'm going to have to take that day off work because FIL expects DH to come set up for the wedding and he is off on Fridays but won't be able to take baby with him. His sister is already making comments about not wanting us to leave early, but sorry, I'm not staying late.
    klkonwi
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