Discussing Daycare

MommaCarden

Hello all!

So my H & I are planning on putting Baby in daycare at the end of my maternity leave since neither one of us can stay home. I mentioned this in conversation with a coworker & she flew all over me about how terrible it's going to be for the Baby, that I'll regret it, etc. I was a daycare kid with a working mother & turned out just fine. Is anyone else having issues with others pre-judging the situation (a) before it even happens or (b) that isn't even there situation to worry about?

VOR

Oh good grief.  Ignore.  And if it comes up again, I'd smile and say "we're doing what works best for our family" and then change the topic or walk away.  Seriously - I wouldn't spend a lot of time engaging someone like this.

Perfect Sonnet

I agree.  Ignore.  Some people have misconceptions about daycare...it drives me nuts, as well.  My daughter has been in daycare since she was four months old and she has thrived.  She learns and does way more than she would by sitting at home with me all day.

rspalding001

Yeah, unfortunately people will always have opinions about how you raise your kids and a lot of people will tell you are not doing it the way they would. Just smile and nod and know you are doing whats best for your family. For the record we send our DD to day care and she LOVES it. They engage her all day and she has other kids to play and socialize with. She learns a ton. Its actually a benefit to the child if you ask me. So try not to stress too much.

Bickey11

I'm too snarky for that crap. If my coworker said that to me I'd say, "The only regret I'm having right now is discussing my personal business with you, I'll keep that in mind the next time I am tempted to do so again"

People need to butt out. I actually regretted the short time I had my kid in an in home day care. Zero stimulation, zero education and they got sicker when they were there, because i'm fairly certain germ spread prevention was not practiced. I love a daycare/preschool environment where there are LOTS of kids and teachers to interact with and they have a learning program.

I have a 17 year old who was in preschool/daycare environment fulltime for all but 6 months, he's a straight A student and frankly a saint, and he was NEVER sick

I have a 7 year old who was in home care for 1 year, and has been in a preschool/daycare environment the only time she ever caught any major illnesses where in home care. 

My new baby will also be in a daycare/preschool 4 days a week as my mother will be retired FINALLY and wants to keep him 1 day a week.

CarrieB.

Somebody will judge you no matter what you do. A friend of mine has given me crap for years because my kids stay home w DH during that day and don't go to daycare. She was concerned that they would turn out to be idiots because of the lack of proper early education. Well my 4 year old just finished her first year of 2 morning a week preschool and she's doing kindergarten level work, so I guess that turned out fine. People need to mind their own business. Being a working mom is hard enough without the judging.

SLGILL1978

I agree ignore it. Most of my co workers are working mothers. My daughter loves going to daycare. She has been attending since she was 10 weeks (she is now 2) and I have never missed any of her "firsts". 

WLJ2

I would just ignore her. but when I put my son in daycare my mother was the one judging me. She told me she could never do that to her children. She'd rather stay home with them then work could pay someone else to raise them. Quite the guilt trip. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a working parent having their children in daycare.

eserkin

I am a working mother with my dd in daycare. People need to learn to stop judging and understand people's situations. Most working mothers have enough guilt going back to work, which usually is needed for income, career, and sometimes having adult conversation and interactions. There is nothing wrong with daycare or you working. Good luck!

marijaa333

I asked my pediatrician about this. She said there was absolutely no problem with putting my son into daycare (we are considering doing it at 4 months). She also said he would get sick more often than he would at home, but that this would happen whenever he started daycare, regardless of his age. Do what works for your family and don't listen to the opinions of others who are not in your shoes.

ccarrozza1

Any comments about what daycares you are using and would recommend? I live in St George in Staten Island, NYC; but commute to manhattan midtown for work. I can also work partime four days a week maybe even three if I start slow. I could do daycare in manhattan lower manhattan or midtown if not staten island...any suggestions??

ccarrozza1

I would love to have the luxury of staying home but living in NY and owning a home; we can't afford for me to stay home. It's a struggle just to get by here...very expensive to live. And I would just say screw you to anyone that is judging you because of it!

dchiapella

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. It's great that she has the luxury to not work if she gets pregnant... but let's be real here. That is sooooooooo unrealistic nowadays. I ALWAYS thought I'd be a stay at home mom, but that's just not how the world works. I won't be doing daycare, I'll probably find a nanny. In my area it's actually cheaper to do so! 

And if she says anything again ask her which you'll regret more... putting your baby in daycare or staying home with baby-- homeless. 

ccarrozza1

It is so ridiculous how judgemental women can be! Anything from breast feeding to what school are you sending them to daycare vs staying at home etc. What bullshit! We as women should support each other not judge!

lily_721

My lo has been in daycare and she loves it. She learns more than she ever would have at home with me. I feel very fortunate that she gets so much social interaction and learning. Ignore your nutty coworker and don't mention your parenting choices to her in the future.