is it ok to not read baby books while pregnant

realmamma

I always watch movies and shows where the women would read about motherhood and their babies after birth in books. This is my first pregnancy and at first I wanted to read them but my hubby doesnt c the point and is a go with flow kinda person plus hes the one with the job and paying for everything. Does it make me a bad mother for not reading the books I just feel like something may happen and cause i didnt read about it before hand i wont b prepared? Am I crazy and stupid for thinking this?

Stephanieshort2

Is this more of a matter of not being able to buy the books? I bought a book but hardly look at it, so it was a waste of money. There are plenty of free resources available online.

Peach&Dan

@realmamma, I read the first few chapters of a few books...... they were all very negative, so I chose to not read them. I don't think you're a bad mom at all for not reading a book. Do what makes you happy and comfortable. Every woman is different, every pregnancy is different so that's another reason why I chose to not read those books...... not all of the negative pregnancy symptoms are going to happen, nor will all of the positive. We share the same attitude.... I go with the flow and take one day at a time. You're a good mom, don't worry and certainly don't worry about what others think. You and your husband will do what works for the both of you.

ssfaye

Using a local library is a good way to read the books for free. Most libraries have all the standard pregnancy books

LaurenNK

If you have a smartphone, there's many free apps to download that give you weekly/monthly info on you and baby as you progress.  Look into Glow, Ovia, What to Expect apps for either Android or iOS.

I purchased several books as soon as I got my BFP, and read them religiously until about week 10.  At that point the super excitement wore off into more general happiness and I didn't feel like curling up with my books all the time.  Now I just read what my phone apps tell me when I get bored or as I enter a new week and leave it at that.  

When I have a particular question I'll look at my books, but there's nothing there I can't get from forums or a Google search.

If you need to save money on books, I got all mine on Amazon.com using the "used" option.  Most of them were like $3 plus shipping.  I'd rather save all my spare money for baby necessities once baby arrives.

Alyllyra

Just because he's a go with the flow person doesn't mean you have to be. It's your body that's changing, not his. If you want to get informed on what you can expect through your pregnancy, I would highly recommend reading a book or two. There are also a lot of really good internet sources.

Also, reading about labor is a good way to prepare for it. You need to make an informed decision about where to give birth, pain medication or no (and what kind) and lots of other stuff that will be easier to talk to your OB about if you've read up on it beforehand.

And, lastly, if you want to be informed parents who don't freak out every time your baby coughs, I think reading about what to expect your first weeks with an infant will really help you. Remember that this is not just about you any more, a little person will be totally dependent on you and your knowledge. And while some people handle that just fine, being prepared by reading about it is never a bad thing.

PrimRoseMama

realmamma said:

I always watch movies and shows where the women would read about motherhood and their babies after birth in books. This is my first pregnancy and at first I wanted to read them but my hubby doesnt c the point and is a go with flow kinda person plus hes the one with the job and paying for everything. Does it make me a bad mother for not reading the books I just feel like something may happen and cause i didnt read about it before hand i wont b prepared? Am I crazy and stupid for thinking this?

A) How old are you? I'm guessing, judging by the text speak, 18-21? It's never a bad idea to educate yourself.

Do you have a local library near by? You can rent books on pregnancy for free if you choose.

C) it's not "bad" or "bad mothering" for you to choose to not read the usual books. You can find much information online:
Mayo Clinic Guide

American a Pregnancy Association

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What concerns me most is the feeling that your partner is isolating you & controlling you with money? You should absolutely be "allowed" to read whatever source material will help you feel more confident about your body, and choices. It shouldn't be about "who pays for everything".

My husband is the bread-winner in our marriage, but he does not treat me like a child or control me via finances.

We are a team that created our family. My health, my education & all the details are empowerment. He fully supports me & my desire to know more about really any subject.

KonaCoffeeBean

There's a lot about this post that I find a little off, but what's is with your spouse directing your choice of reading material?

queenwog

Your baby will not die if you don't read pregnancy/baby books.

However. If you want to read them, why don't you? "My SO thinks..." is not a good enough reason. Your SO doesn't get to call the shots on your reading material. Get thee to the library and read some books if that's what you want to do.

jenbstevens

You should absolutely be educated, in whatever form you feel is best. As PP said you can get just as much info for free online or at a library as you can by buying books so it doesn't have to be about money. Your SO might be the breadwinner, but you're the one carrying and caring for the baby, and you should be educated and prepared, regardless of what your SO thinks (next time he can carry the baby and see how he feels about it). You're a team in this whole baby making and parenting thing, don't let him control you or take away from your baby's well being in any way.

twogirlsandagreen

I agree with all of the above comments. When it comes to sleep/routine ideas after baby is born, the type of book you need varies greatly. Some books say to feed on demand, some outline strict schedules, etc. Do a little research on your phone to figure out what parenting style may fit you best and then you can look for books at the library that offer advice in line with that. You can also use google to find tons of free information online.

Jessie42613

What!?

Girl, get thee to a library and educate yourself on what's going on with your body and your baby!  

bobbiebella

I agree with the PPs. If you simply choose not to read the books, that is fine. But you should be able to decide that! I'm trying to be more practical and have less stuff, so I went with the library route too. I also Google information and read online; just be aware that anyone can create a website or post on discussion forums, so check out sources and read multiple sites for verification.

Personally, I prefer to be informed and know what's going on. Yes, some of it is intimidating/scary/negative, but I'm okay with that part. I know some of it may happen to me, but it also may not happen (the negative/scary things).

realmamma

Google is my new best friend. I research a lot if a new symptom comes up I google especially cause im on the military side and my doc changes so unless its bleeding or really nad cramping I google it. I also google different parenting styles. Sleeping techniques and sites like this are amazing in information. Thank you guys so much ur opinions and advice

cchaney8214

I read as much as I can and love it! So much to learn n helps reassure me that everything I'm experiencing is normal n happening right in time. I'd recommend what to expect when you're expecting, but have read a few others n a lot online too. The more u know the less you'll fear and that in turn means less pain in the big picture, or so I'm told. As far as your guy goes - no vagina/uterus means no opinion! Get your read on, mama.