Parenting
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Fear of lifestyle changes

hi all,
I am wondering if anyone else has or is experiencing fear from the lifestyle changes that come with becoming a parent. My hubby and I have been DINKs for a while now and love our lifestyle. We go our, have dinner parties, are huge wine lovers and travel a lot. Now that I am pregnant I am super happy but also very scared of how that will impact our life. I am fortunate to have a few friends that have babies and have seen both the dark and bright side of parenting. And I am scared shirtless of the dark side... Loosing friends, becoming unable to attend events, being stranded to strict schedules, and always being surrounded by chaos.

I'm not saying in not excited and don't think nothing will change, but how do you become a parent that is loving and carring while remaining outgoing, social and with a fun lifestyle?

Hope u don't think I'm horrible for thinking this way...

Re: Fear of lifestyle changes

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    MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    edited May 2015

    Plan that the first year is going to be an adjustment time of developing a new normal and to be gentle with yourself through the process.  Be the parent you are, not the one some parenting magazine or advice column guilts you into thinking you should be.  Your baby doesn't come with a manual, some kids are naturally easier than others in terms of personality.  It's like hiring a new office member without doing an interview, you work with who you've got, not who you want them to be. 

    A lot of the transitional challenge is really going to be dependent upon the support network you have around you (including YH).  Having a great daycare provider is worth their weight in gold.  The "dark side" isn't in those magazines for a reason, because those are the times when you're on your own and Judgy Janice thinks they know how to parent your child better than you do when really they don't have a freaking clue. The reason for the regimented schedules is simple - because you'll have new priorities (i.e. getting sustained sleep) and going out is going to be further down on the list.  A single newborn/baby is easier than a toddler to go out and about with, just not to the same places.  There will be days that you just don't want to be touched, by anyone, it's normal!  Also, remember that it's not Babysitting when you leave YH home with the baby to go out and do something for yourself. 

    IMO, your fears are normal.  Discuss some of this with YH because you need to remember to take care of you, which gets even more important when future kids come into the equation. 

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