of course it's my fault.. RANT.

WeirdAlice

There is this toy that plays music that my 2 year old is terrified of. I live with my bf and his family (mom dad 3 brothers and sister) and they constantly use this toy to torment my daughter. I'm cleaning up garbage in our room when I hear the music of the toy and my daughter screaming and crying like you would not believe and the sister and dad are out there laughing while the mom is telling her "it's okay it won't hurt you come here baby". I walk out and make one comment which I have made before "she will never get used to it if people keep tormenting her with it, it scares her for some reason" the daughter, 13 years old makes the comment "you keep getting a F@$!#&* attitude your going to get hit" I finally lost it and told her "if your going to hit me then hit me all im saying is it scares her and she won't get used to it if you all keep cornering her on the couch with it" so their dad gets pissed off at ME about how he was the one that got it out and turned it on and I need to shut up and lose my Damn atttitude and the rest I couldn't hear bc he was storming off. I don't care who got it I was just making a comment AS HER MOTHER about her being scared. And yes she was cornered on the couch with it.
He was so pissed off he went to his room and slammed the door shut it shook the entire house.

Maybe I'm over reacting and it's just me, or my "hormones" as people say but I'm so Damn frustrated, maybe if people would get their daughter under control and keep her from threatening people shit wouldn't get heated but no its my fault
. I just... ugh.
Rant over. Sorry it's been a bad week I needed to get something out of my system.

AshenSky

If my 13 yo daughter (or any age for that matter) said something like that I would smack her mouth!!!!! I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I'm sorry your poor dd has to deal with them tormenting her!!! That is so sad.
My dd was afraid of hair when she was a toddler (my sister and I are extensions specialists) and one day she picked up a brush with a clip on stuck to it... She was screaming bloody murder and my sister was on the floor laughing. My heart broke and I nearly started crying. I told my sister to stop laughing and don't ever tease her with it again.
Maybe ask them what their biggest fear is and tell them to imagine that, whatever reason she is afraid of it-she feels real fear. Poor baby:(

emzcat

That's crazy. There are so many things wrong in that scenario. I would have been livid... Let alone just making a statement about my daughter being scared.

WeirdAlice

It's shitty bc i feel like the comment I made wasn't bad. It wasn't mean it wasn't having an attitude. It was just stating she will never get used to it if they do that to her.i did get an attitude when their brat for lack of better words, threatened to hit me. Who wouldn't get mad about that! I love their mom dearly tho she at least seen where I was coming from. But the other 2 are still so pissed off with my attitude that they refuse to talk to me or even look at me.

kesmeredith

Um take your daughter and get out of there. That is neither something you or your daughter should have to deal with. Tell them to go find entertainment in something other than tormenting your little one.

MercyC1130

That's so ridiculous. Do they know you are pregnant? Threatening to hit someone
Ike that regardless is unnecessary, but especially if someone is carrying. That's just..I don't know, beyond me.
Sorry you have to deal with that kind of situation and what sounds like a lack of respect. Sounds like you handled it well though. Kudos to that!
Unless that is normal everyday behavior for that 13 year old, it sounds like maybe she has some specific issues with you or your daughter. Maybe jealousy at not being the baby or the center of attention or something.

thegingeravenger

Obviously we don't know the whole situation, but please get yourself (and your daughter!) out of that situation of at all possible. You don't deserve to deal with physical threats or adult hissy fits and your LO doesn't deserve emotional abuse by a group of people who are her family. Or maybe his mom was really just trying to make it better, I don't know.

Or at least your boyfriend should have a talk with them about how they deal with you and your daughter. Is it a toy that would be easy to hide?

anneof2

If someone was tormenting my child like that, I would pick him up and walk out and probably not return for a long time. I'm very protective of my son's feelings and I know what being tormented as a toddler is like. I was tormented as a 2 year old and I still remember it.

ashleywuli

Do you have anywhere you and your dd can move to? What does your boyfriend say about all of this? I find it totally and completely inexcusable! They should be so ashamed of theirselves. If my daughter spoke to anyone that way she would have a huge punishment coming her way. I personally would get the heck out of there if possible. Good luck!

MoRay05

Maybe the toy needs to disappear for a while

katiejadeo

That sucks! Maybe you all should move out then you can tell em to stick it! I don't think you were bring hormonal at all, just protecting your daughter from bullies and that's you job so well done!

VexyMommy

A) Break the toy and throw it away. The "adults" in the house obviously can't be trusted not to scare you're daughter with it so it needs to go.

The situation you're in does not sound healthy at all. If you're getting backlash for being physically threatened by a teenage girl there are serious, serious issues in that household. I'm not sure what country/state you live in, but you've got internet access. I suggest you use it to look up what public assistance is available and get yourself and your daughter out of that situation. You don't deserve to be treated that way and neither does your daughter.

queenwog

I don't understand why you live with these people.

Squirtgun

The toy would definitely go mysteriously missing if it were my house... (Sneak it out and throw it away at work if you're afraid of someone rescuing it from trash at home)
It can sometimes be easier for the person who is actually related to the offending family members to do the talking when things like this need to be addressed. Also, as PPs have said, it sounds like you need to find somewhere else to live for your safety and daughter's safety. Just because no actual hitting is involved doesn't mean it's ok. Bullying a baby with a toy she is terrified of is a form of emotional abuse.

Edited:spelling is hard.

Alexis514

The toy needs to be thrown out and I think you should consider new living arrangements. They are clearly abusive to your child and you.

dramaphile

Ugh, sorry you live with idiots! You were definitely not out of line, and your boyfriend's idiot family needs to STFU. Looks like the apple didn't fall far from the tree in the case of the sister.

WeirdAlice

Iv packed bags for a few days at my grandmother's but it can only be a few days and I live there because the housing and apartments have me at the bottom of the waiting list and all the houses for rent are 700+$ so until something becomes more a for ad able or I finally get a call back from housing units I don't have much of an option.
This is the first iv had to say something towards the dad but still the kids are all old enough and my bf is a "fight your own battles or they will never listen to you" person.

DrMommaDVM

OP, these people sound terrible. Like really bad, dysfunctional people. I can't imagine anyone I associate with doing or saying any of the things you just mentioned.
Are they on drugs? Who's frightens a toddler for fun? Who threatens violence against a pregnant woman. Get away from these people.

veckia

You are not the crazy/hormonal/immature person here and there is nothing wrong with your attitude from what your are describing. I feel your pain. I've lived with emotionally abusive, bullying family members before because I had to also. Look up gas lighting and symptoms of narcissism. Helped me a lot to understand that I was being made to feel like the crazy person when I wasnt actually.

Also, I remember having a lot of silly fears as a toddler too. I needed adults to keep me"safe" from the things I feared so that i could approach them in a way that made me feel secure. When family members did not do this for me it made me super anxious and I still fight anxiety this day.

rubirubi89

Tun, run away from these people and never look back.

Laura&brad1

I just wanted to jump in and say well done for saying something your wee girl doesn't deserve to be treated like that and I can't believe they think it is ok to torment her like that our children need us as parents to stick up for them so I'm sorry you got abused because of it but good on you for saying something and sticking up for the wee innocent girl that can't stick up for herself! Def get rid of the toy and I really hope these adults learn that it is not ok to treat a child like that! Goodluck to you I hope things get better!

Laurakat81

Get out of there. No way in hell I'd let people scare my kid repeatedly, even if it's just a stupid toy. They clearly do not need to be anywhere near your kid. Or any kid. They've raised a 13 year old with zero respect and think scaring a toddler is funny....as soon as you can, get out of there and don't ever look back. Very sorry you're having to deal with such asshats!

MadBloom

Mshrader05 said:

Maybe the toy needs to disappear for a while

Yep, I was going to say that too. And by for a while I think it should be forever.

I'm also team gtfo. If the dad and daughter are talking that way then they obviously don't like you guys being there and I doubt that will change. You, your daughter and BF need to get out of there.

cathy432

Grab the toy and rip it up, tear it to pieces and throw it away. No one should ever treat anyone like that, child or adult.

sarahsnowball

You shouldn't have to sneak the toy out. Just throw/give it away. You're her mother, it's your call. Also, if you are truly trapped in your living situation, please keep your daughter with you. It doesn't sound like these people deserve to be trusted with her. So when you clear garbage or do other chores, make it a game that she can join in with so that she's there with you. Everything is harder with a toddler 'helping' but at least you'll know she's ok and not being bullied.

poupoule

That sucks... If you cant talk to them, I would have thrown the toy in the trash and taken my daughter for a walk outside.... Good luck I hope your situation will get better soon. It was absolutely not your fault, but you cant make people do stuff they dont want to do, and clearly it would need a lot of work to make them see it differently.

Hugs

Lynnie1027

I pray you're never forced into a situation where you have to leave your child with these people. I'm just vibrating here with so much anger reading your story. It sounds like you're not in a position to leave but I second what someone else said about keeping your daughter with you at all times. Also, your bf needs to step in and talk to his family. I think this situation calls for not just you fighting this battle but he as well. I'm assuming she's his daughter too, (and even if she were not) he needs to defend her and you.

VexyMommy

You may want to call the local battered women's shelter and explain your situation and ask them for any help with the housing assistance program. Often if you're pregnant and in a dangerous home situation you can get moved up the list.

helsbels222

You are not over reacting. Sounds like you handled the situation very well. However this is a very unsafe and unstable environment for you and your daughter. Try going back to housing units and tell them you are in a dangerous living situation. Maybe they'll bump you to the top of the list.

Edited: Haven't had my morning coffee yet so did not read what pp wrote and said the same thing.

TacoSarah

What kind of trailer trash family is this? Tormenting a child, the bad language, the threats of physical violence. You need to leave.

happymama25

Your boyfriend Needs to step up, I understand you not being able to just get up and leave. Everyone doesn't just have money to move, but I'd spend as much time outside as possible. And I'd take my daughter and that toy and role it over with my car. Yall both will be pleased haha.

Ceridwen77

TacoSarah said:

What kind of trailer trash family is this? Tormenting a child, the bad language, the threats of physical violence. You need to leave.

This. And where is your boyfriend in all of this? Telling you to fight your own battles or they won't respect you? Sounds like respect is completely out of their capabilities at this point and he needs to man up and stand up for you and his kids. Or add him to the list of people you need to get away from. Your kids come first.

doodleoodle

WeirdAlice said:

Iv packed bags for a few days at my grandmother's but it can only be a few days and I live there because the housing and apartments have me at the bottom of the waiting list and all the houses for rent are 700+$ so until something becomes more a for ad able or I finally get a call back from housing units I don't have much of an option.
This is the first iv had to say something towards the dad but still the kids are all old enough and my bf is a "fight your own battles or they will never listen to you" person.

My in laws went through a period where they thought it was perfectly acceptable to be disrespectful to me as well. I'm a firm believer that in situations like that, while you can certainly say something to them, it is your boyfriend's responsibility to speak up. I feel you have an even stronger case to make for him speaking up because you have a child involved. When I told my husband I needed him to support me by telling his parent's their behavior was unacceptable he at first resisted and told me it was my battle. I then told him the choice was his to make, either he involved himself or I would no longer be having any interaction with his family. He then spoke to them and now our relationship is much better. I would have this conversation with your boyfriend and in the meantime continue to stay with relatives and if that no longer becomes an option I would spend as much time as you can outside of the house and in your room. I would make it a point to never leave your child alone in their presence again.

I truly hope you're able to get your own place soon. I agree with @VexyMommy that you should call the battered woman's shelter and see if they can provide any kind of housing and/or financial assistance. What they're doing is abusive to you and your child.

katiechickie

It's your daughter, if my baby was crying I would've said something too. Where does the 13 year old get off talking to you like that and using such language? Sounds like a very hostile living situation.

ash413

Ceridwen77 said:

TacoSarah said:

What kind of trailer trash family is this? Tormenting a child, the bad language, the threats of physical violence. You need to leave.

This. And where is your boyfriend in all of this? Telling you to fight your own battles or they won't respect you? Sounds like respect is completely out of their capabilities at this point and he needs to man up and stand up for you and his kids. Or add him to the list of people you need to get away from. Your kids come first.

I agree, what kind of man just sits back while his GF is threatened and yelled at and her daughter is tormented. My H would NEVER let that fly, doesn't matter if it is his family or someone else. I would seriously be considering what kind of man you are dating.

Have you looked at doing an apartment farther away, or staying with a friend. You and your child are obviously in a dangerous situation. Just imagine what kind of psychological harm is being done to your child and how that is going to affect her in the future. You are her mother, you have to protect her.

elbou

I agree with the poster who said to run the toy over with your car. If that had happened to my kid, the toy would have disappeared the first time they tormented her with it.

OP, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. T&Ps that some form of housing or assistance becomes available to you very soon!

babybean0015

As a mother I would trust my instincts. Anything that I thought was not right or unusual I would speak up about it. I'm glad you did. I would've also lit that toy on fire! I had a similar situation where an Inlaw would make my daughter cry and I told him off in front of the whole family and Yep it was my fault! I didn't talk to them for about a year until they apologized. But guess what they still make little sideways comments to me and my family so we just don't talk to them at all because they're immature and don't know how to have boundaries.

Sydvicious08

Take your daughter and the toy for a drive...and have the toy accidentally fall out of the window over a bridge...oops.
Then get out!

AnnamariauDoris

Omg, i would have slapped that 13 y old's mouth and stick a bar of soap in her mouth. Also I slapped my nephews hand a few days ago because he came at me with a pretty heavy toy car and swinged it at me to hit me intentionally. I told hiM that I am not his grandma to swallow his fits, i don' t swallow my son's, so...i told my cousin what I did, she said that wad good, because he needs to understand good from bad. Also he is 4! And for you....take that toy to a playdate with fire and talk to your bf ...he needs to step up asap!

queenwog

Drop the toy off at Goodwill, move out (housing assistance is easier to secure for pregnant women), and be done with it. You're living in a toxic environment and it's not fair to your child or the one you're expecting for you to stay there.

McQuadesVA

That would break my heart if someone was doing that to my baby, much less her own family!! I got upset with my brother bc he was telling my little girl that her room was his and that I was his mom not hers just being a pest and joking around but she got really upset!! I simply told him to stop its making her feel confused and sad and he laughed and said he was sorry to her.... And that's always how that should play out momma makes the rules just sayin