SO and breastfeeding

claireroxo

My husband thinks breastfeeding is gross and weird. He thinks I should exclusively pump. But he'll b gone working 64 hours a week so what should I do

SassetteSmurfling

I think your husband needs to read a book and grow up a little bit. That's what they're for.
I think you should feed your baby however you think is best for you and little one.

Robin910

I think when your husband delivers a baby and his body is responsible for feeding it then he can choose to pump exclusively since he thinks it's so gross.

emmacake08

First of all pump is a b*tch compared to breastfeeding. Second of all, having plastic flanges on your boobs constantly is a lot more weird than a baby nursing. My 6 year old nephew saw me pumping and was fascinated and couldn't stop talking about how I was a cow being milked. He never cared or asked when I was nursing.

heatherbybee

I feel very sorry for you that your hubby feels this way . perhaps he would agree to educating himself on it more...? It is the most precious and natural gift a woman can give her baby. If you only pump your body will know and your milk will dry up quicker. If he is not willing to open his mind, then it's your decision if you are willing to sacrifice yourself and baby for some unfounded vision of "gross" he has...hope the best works out!!

alyciamrs

Similar situation with my DH. He doesn't say it's gross but did tell me once that he would make me or he himself would go in another room when I was doing it. I think it just makes him uncomfortable. He's also comments on how my boobs will be like "water balloons" and "saggy" if I breastfeed. However, he since has come around and told me it's ultimately my choice and he will support me no matter what. For reasons unrelated, I am still unsure of whether I want to breastfeed or not.

bpwife&mama

I didn't realize feeding your child could ever be considered "gross". Who cares what your boobs look like after. I would kill my husband if he ever said something so ridiculous and immature.

johannaspisak

I think maybe some guys don't like to be reminded of what those are actually for. Maybe an issue of "they won't be toys if they're actually serving their purpose".

squigles28

My husband is kind the opposite in an annoying kind of way. He's deadset on me breastfeeding. I said in some situations, I may find pumping and bottle feeding more comfortable for me. He doesn't seem to get this at all and thinks I'm being to modest. As well, I'm afraid if something happens and it doesn't work, he'll think I didn't try hard enough.
But I also know he'll do everything he can to support.

EmEeGee

Frankly, I don't feel he has a say. And to dictate how you (emphasis on YOU) feed your baby is absurd. Do what you're comfortable with.

sjra1028

I agree with @Robin910! If you want to breastfeed, then have at it! My husband wants me to exclusively breastfeed and doesn't like the idea of me using a pump. But I'll definitely be pumping inbetween feedings. But it's more your choice than it is his imo.

Miz_Liz

How old is your husband? Was he not brought up around many women? This is mind boggling to me. He definitely needs to educate himself on the subject. I am not even sure how I would handle my husband saying something this absurd to me - and please don't take that as offense against you, I truly don't mean it as rude against you, just blows my mind that someone who is about to be a father could think this way.

holli0801

Wow. I agree with pp. He needs to grow up and buck up. There is nothing wrong, gross, weird etc with providing your child with what they need to be healthy. Pumping is fine and dandy, but it's not realistic (imo) to do so exclusively. And that's a choice you get to make.

breezymeema7

Wow. I really hope you don't let his beliefs/feelings deter you from breastfeeding.

kettlekitten

johannaspisak said:

I think maybe some guys don't like to be reminded of what those are actually for. Maybe an issue of "they won't be toys if they're actually serving their purpose".

I agree with this. He doesn't want his playthings to be reappropriated for their actual biological purpose. Tell him to grow up, and proceed to do what you want. He doesn't get a say. Regardless of whether you breastfeed, you are still going to produce milk and have to deal with it in some way that he might find 'offensive.' Like other PPs I am not sure how I would take a comment like this from my husband, other than to ignore him and do it anyway.

CaliforniaDream87

Pumping exclusive is absolutely realistic. Many women do it every day.

However, I couldn't imagine my husband saying that my boobs will be "saggy" and or "don't BF because it makes me uncomfy". WTF?

thesportsgal

I would seriously be questioning why I married such an idiot if my husband ever said that to me.

awebsteWed218778

@Miz_Liz couldn't agree more. well said. 

carriebelle77

Help him understand that if you pump exclusively an never actually nurse, your milk supply will consistently decrease. Formula is approx $25 a can and a baby goes through at least a can a week. By BFing, you're saving at least $100 a month. Not to mention that studies have shown that BFing is the ONLY thing a mother can do for a baby that will significantly impact their intelligence.

claireroxo

My husband was raised differently his brother was bottle fed and so was he. One time he saw a girl nursing in a restaurant and I think it like freaked him out or something.

Thj417

Take him with you to the nursing class offered by your hospital. Education... Hope he changes his ideals. Pumping is was more gross than nursing. #normalizebreastfeeding

CaliforniaDream87

Thj417 said:

. Pumping is was more gross than nursing. #normalizebreastfeeding

I find this comment interesting. Not just because of the ridiculous use of a hash tag on TB, which it is, but more so the contradiction. Normalizing breastfeeding is a movement that is intended to not only "normalize BF'ing" but to also empower women to make informed decisions in regards to BM. I find saying that pumping is "more gross than..."very offensive to those women who couldn't BF. How do you think a FTM may feel reading your comment? What if she can't get successfully BF but can pump for her LO? In my opinion these type of comments just perpetuates the mommy wars. It was these sorts of comments that made being a mommy to a baby (that first month) that had severe latch issues very difficult. Pumping is the next best thing, period.

*this has nothing to do with OP's post. I've made my point fairly clear about her H and lack of education on BM*

lilhoek

I'll be honest- before I actually had my first son on my breast, I thought BF was gross! I was super scared and thought I might throw up with just the thought of it- even though I had great mentors and people to encourage me through BF my first to 16 months and my second to 14 months. I knew I was going to do it because I was too cheap to buy something I could get for free. Now, I am fully crazy about BF and cannot wait to overcome the logistical difficulties that will be BF twins and am struggling with the idea that they will likely be in the NICU and I wont be able to nurse them directly right away. My husband was probably a little bit the same way, although he was willing to try it if I was. Now, it is the most normal thing in the world to us.

Maybe it is just something he will have to experience with you. Best of luck- if you are determined, you will get it done.

emmacake08

CaliforniaDream87 said:

Thj417 said:

. Pumping is was more gross than nursing. #normalizebreastfeeding

I find this comment interesting. Not just because of the ridiculous use of a hash tag on TB, which it is, but more so the contradiction. Normalizing breastfeeding is a movement that is intended to not only "normalize BF'ing" but to also empower women to make informed decisions in regards to BM. I find saying that pumping is "more gross than..."very offensive to those women who couldn't BF. How do you think a FTM may feel reading your comment? What if she can't get successfully BF but can pump for her LO? In my opinion these type of comments just perpetuates the mommy wars. It was these sorts of comments that made being a mommy to a baby (that first month) that had severe latch issues very difficult. Pumping is the next best thing, period.

*this has nothing to do with OP's post. I've made my point fairly clear about her H and lack of education on BM*

I feel like I should clarify my earlier comment because I agree with this. Pumping is an amazing thing to do for your baby and without pumping I would have never eventually been able to nurse mine once they were strong enough. Whether you have a baby nursing or are pumping, people can say discouraging things because it can weird people out (unfairly). I agree that being supportive of all ways to feed a baby is important. I meant to say that pumping is just so much more work if you have a baby that can nurse.

thesportsgal

The words "gross" and breastfeeding/pumping should never be used in the same context.  JFC, how in the world is breastfeeding or pumping "gross"??? 

You don't HAVE to walk around with your child hanging off of your breast.  There is nothing wrong with using blankets/covers/wanting to feed in private, etc.  I never would have whipped out my boob in front of my father in law - I would go to my room.  But that's MY preference and I'm not doing something gross or embarrassing or shameful. 

But when it's me and my husband?  You better believe he saw more of my boobs in 7 months than he'll see in a lifetime.  I didn't look good but I certainly didn't care - and neither did he. 

jessandandy09

sometimes men only think of the breast in a sexualized manner.  The reason in fact that many men (and many women too) tend to love boobies so much has to do with the actual physical desire to be cared for.  DONT tell them that though it messes with their head. Breast feeding is what our boobs were meant to do, it is why we have them.  This can take a while for a sexual partner to get adjusted to.  Try to ease him into the idea and I think taking him to classes may be good, but may scare him depending on his view points and the severity of which it is approached.  

lifesabeach85

My husband is definitely a "boob guy" if you will. However he's also a grown up for pete's sake. I can't imagine him ever calling my feeding our child in the way advocated by most doctors "gross" or "making me go in another room" or complaining that my boobs would get "saggy." I would tell him that he needs to become an adult before his child gets here! It's 2015!!!

schup156

I just have to add that pregnancy makes your boobs saggy...not breastfeeding.  No matter how you feed your baby when they're born...your boobs will never be the same, an unfortunate reality.

nakoppel

Regardless of what your husband thinks it is YOUR choice. It is your body and how you choose to feed breast, pump, or formula has a lot more to do with you then him. On a related note my husband is the biggest breast feeding cheerleader, his first daughter was breast fed and he accredits that with her being so smart (I'm sure she would have been smart regardless but that's his opinion). i don't think you should let your husbands uninformed opinions effect you. Obviously that's easier said than done.