Please use the search feature

wlux

bspletzer said:

Im confused as to why this is the way it is? When i was was in the oct 2015 group it wasnt like this at all. So i feel like its your guys rules. And taking your "advise" i commented on one of the boards with a question and tried to help others with an answer and i was ignored on 2 separate boards because of the overload of people talking. So you guys dont have to answer my questions if you think i should lurk butni will post whatever i want. Because you guys arnt the boss.

I felt terrible for you and went back over to the check in to see if I could answer your question.

Your post wasn't ignored. It was part of the check in and you didn't ask a question.

Do you have something you want answered specifically? I'd love to help.

heawilliams

bspletzer said:

Im confused as to why this is the way it is? When i was was in the oct 2015 group it wasnt like this at all. So i feel like its your guys rules. And taking your "advise" i commented on one of the boards with a question and tried to help others with an answer and i was ignored on 2 separate boards because of the overload of people talking. So you guys dont have to answer my questions if you think i should lurk butni will post whatever i want. Because you guys arnt the boss.

Agree with the PP. Also, you should see the O15 board now.

You are welcome to post whenever you like and no we are not the boss. However, we are posting this so new mommies don't get flamed for posting something.

There are several sites out the with varied amounts of attitudes ( for a lack of a better word). Babycenter is mild (think rainbows and unicorns) while Nuture by Glow will sometimes put this community to shame with the amount of snark. People have different attitudes and preferences. If you feel this community is too rude/mean, then I would suggest looking elsewhere.

From what I understand, this community has had this persona for a while and was actually worse prior to the great Exedus (spelling?).

whhw85

I've posted in all of the correct areas so far, so I've not had to read any "polite" messages of redirection addressed to me yet. However, I feel that the self-declared "leaders" of this group are on a bit of a power trip. All group members should be treated with a caring and respectful approach. The flaming of or inequality of some group members is not acceptable for any reason. When I read that messages of constructive criticism are intended to help newbies so they don't "get flamed", I don't believe there is any sincerity behind these efforts to help. In my opinion, this is a very straightforward and unsophisticated forum, and if you truely believe that rules and restrictions are necessary to save everyone from the utter chaos that could erupt, please make sure there is some group consensus about the rules before "coaching" your equals. And just so everyone is clear, I'm pretty much the most fun loving and easy going person that you'll ever meet, but sometimes bullies just need to be stood up to.

heawilliams

whhw85 said:

I've posted in all of the correct areas so far, so I've not had to read any "polite" messages of redirection addressed to me yet. However, I feel that the self-declared "leaders" of this group are on a bit of a power trip. All group members should be treated with a caring and respectful approach. The flaming of or inequality of some group members is not acceptable for any reason. When I read that messages of constructive criticism are intended to help newbies so they don't "get flamed", I don't believe there is any sincerity behind these efforts to help. In my opinion, this is a very straightforward and unsophisticated forum, and if you truely believe that rules and restrictions are necessary to save everyone from the utter chaos that could erupt, please make sure there is some group consensus about the rules before "coaching" your equals. And just so everyone is clear, I'm pretty much the most fun loving and easy going person that you'll ever meet, but sometimes bullies just need to be stood up to.

I'm sorry you don't see the sincerity behind these posts. But I wouldn't expect that because text is only 7% of communication, therefore the tone of my messages is up to each individual reader. So if you are taking my messages as insincere, that is all you.

As for being a self proclaimed leader, I never once said I was or even pretend to be. I'm just a bumpy like everyone else here. While you feel the need to stand up to "bullies", I too feel the need to post in order to make people's experiences better. Having lurked on several boards here since I joined with my first daughter in 2009 and became an active poster in November, I've seen boards where things fall apart and I just wanted to prevent this board from doing the same. I also believe I'm not alone in this feeling.

gmp450

Who is our leader?

heawilliams

Can he be our leader?

Paige6410

mollyj931

anp153

This string of replies is a lot. I don't know how you ladies can go back and forth on this for so long.

But have at it if that's what you feel is important during this journey!

To anyone confused/over the negativity, just remove yourself from the particular thread. And it is against the bump regulations to be harassing or mean to other members so as easily as someone can flag you for asking an innocent question you can too flag them for being mean.

Yes, try to search around before asking. But at the same time, let's not be mean about it if someone doesn't. I guess my line of business requires a different level of tact which I now find myself immensely grateful for.

Have a great Labor Day weekend, ladies! I mean that.

pulling2gether

anp153 said:

Have a great Labor Day weekend, ladies! I mean that.

off topic, but this must be said: It is Memorial Day. There is a HUGE difference (please google both to further your knowledge). It's not just a three day weekend. Please show respect for those that serve/have served in the armed forces of the United States, especially those that have given their lives for our country (the point of Memorial Day)!

with that said, this could be an honest mistake on your part and, if so, please make a conscience effort to avoid this mistake in the future.

anp153

That's called prego brain

I know it's Memorial Day weekend!!!

Hahaha this is going to be a long 9 months. Sorry!

anp153

Also there is literally no reason to get all worked up over a common mistake. Do you know how many people in my family are currently in the military and those who have served in the past? Wow this community is so high strung.

I think I'm finally done here

wlux

You can not flag someone for "being mean".

The only people that have been mean are the ones that have been name calling. I doubt any of the ladies that have posted the funny Gifs will be flagging anyone but you are right name calling is uncalled for...

Oh, and if you want to see how tame our board is go check out the same post on Dec 15. It has almost 600 comments.

I

pulling2gether

anp153 said:

Also there is literally no reason to get all worked up over a common mistake. Do you know how many people in my family are currently in the military and those who have served in the past? Wow this community is so high strung.

I think I'm finally done here

the unfortunate fact that it is a common mistake is the exact reason I gave you the benefit of the doubt and asked you to make a conscience effort for the future.

not high strung at all. I have no disire to go tit-for-tat with you regarding family and friends currently serving/who have served in the armed forces.

for those making very valid lurk-before-you-ask points. I apologize for hijacking this thread for a few off topic posts. please carry on and I wish you all a H&H 9!

also, please don't use "prego brain" as an excuse. it's not cute. take responsibly for an honest mistake and move forward. if you feel the need to take your ball and run home because someone took the time to point out a mistake, I litterally cannot stop you.

edit: prego brain. it has to be said. sorrynotsorry

Mamabeagle

anp153 said:

Also there is literally no reason to get all worked up over a common mistake. Do you know how many people in my family are currently in the military and those who have served in the past? Wow this community is so high strung.

I think I'm finally done here

The only one getting worked up is you. The other day on Wednesday when I said "Thank God tomorrow is Friday!" at work, and someone corrected me, I laughed. That's how people usually respond to realizing they made a silly mistake.

ChipMonster

I am seriously very confused at the people that are getting offended at this.

Let me tell you a little story.

The other day, I came home from shopping and I felt huge and so uncomfortable in my skin. I knew that you ladies would understand so I opened my app. I didn't post right as soon as opening the app, I scrolled through the recent topics and just there on the front page about 5 lines down was the topic "weight". I read it and it was basically how I felt. I posted on that thread. And maybe people didn't respond to me personally but had I posted they would've responded the same to me as they did to the OP. Did I really need to post my own thread of my issue when someone else posted the very same issue? When I could read all the responses that I would get also? No.

I don't understand how it's considered rude to tell someone that posts a thread about making love to check out the thread that was posted just before on sex that had many people answer. The question that you're asking is already there. Repeat threads so close together push the other ones further down the list and make them harder to find. It's not really hard to understand, it seems like common sense to me.

And bullies?? Really?? Come on. The only bullies are the ones that think that everyone should pay attention to their specific needs without taking the whole group into consideration.

kaylalampear

SparklesC said:

Call me crazy, but I think maybe when someone is new to this group and they have something they want to ask, they figure the thing to do is post about it. I actually find it a little odd to go find someone else's post and go comment about your own symptoms or questions. I understand that is how this is SUPPOSED to work, but I think most women don't realize that when they are new and I agree people can respond in nicer ways.

This. I don't see why it matters. Is it really a big deal if theres more than one post about something? Does it affect your life that much?? I personally don't always have time to "lurk" and HOPEFULLY find a relatable post. Also, its frustrating because my app adds so slow on my phone. Okay, vent over lol. Just been so sick of seeing people waste their time just to say "please lurk" blah blah blah. I actually saw someone say that instead of answering a poor girls question... So rude.

kaylalampear

kaylalampear said:

SparklesC said:

Call me crazy, but I think maybe when someone is new to this group and they have something they want to ask, they figure the thing to do is post about it. I actually find it a little odd to go find someone else's post and go comment about your own symptoms or questions. I understand that is how this is SUPPOSED to work, but I think most women don't realize that when they are new and I agree people can respond in nicer ways.

This. I don't see why it matters. Is it really a big deal if theres more than one post about something? Does it affect your life that much?? I personally don't always have time to "lurk" and HOPEFULLY find a relatable post. Also, its frustrating because my app adds so slow on my phone. Okay, vent over lol. Just been so sick of seeing people waste their time just to say "please lurk" blah blah blah. I actually saw someone say that instead of answering a poor girls question... So rude.

Loads* not adds

heawilliams

kaylalampear said:

kaylalampear said:

SparklesC said:

Call me crazy, but I think maybe when someone is new to this group and they have something they want to ask, they figure the thing to do is post about it. I actually find it a little odd to go find someone else's post and go comment about your own symptoms or questions. I understand that is how this is SUPPOSED to work, but I think most women don't realize that when they are new and I agree people can respond in nicer ways.

This. I don't see why it matters. Is it really a big deal if theres more than one post about something? Does it affect your life that much?? I personally don't always have time to "lurk" and HOPEFULLY find a relatable post. Also, its frustrating because my app adds so slow on my phone. Okay, vent over lol. Just been so sick of seeing people waste their time just to say "please lurk" blah blah blah. I actually saw someone say that instead of answering a poor girls question... So rude.

Loads* not adds

I understand your frustration, but since you're mobile you should get this immediately. Try to go back and lurk. It's incredibly hard to do so mobile. Therefore, how is it rude to ask posters to stop posting the same questions pushing those new questions down the board? What about those ladies? I think it's rude that their new question gets passed up/pushed down because there is a third post about spotting.

I understand some of these situations are scary, especially for FTM, but the community's answer is not going to change. "Spotting is normal, but if you're concerned call you doctor and keep us posted." How many times do you think it's acceptable to write that? Please enlighten me because now a mother with an actual loss is suffering because her post was pushed down so far, those on mobile can't see it to offer her support.

ChipMonster

kaylalampear said:

<

This. I don't see why it matters. Is it really a big deal if theres more than one post about something? Does it affect your life that much?? I personally don't always have time to "lurk" and HOPEFULLY find a relatable post. Also, its frustrating because my app adds so slow on my phone. Okay, vent over lol. Just been so sick of seeing people waste their time just to say "please lurk" blah blah blah. I actually saw someone say that instead of answering a poor girls question... So rude.

First, it does affect everyone because like I said previously, it pushes other questions that have not been answered a million times, further down the line making those posts harder to find.

Second, if you don't have time to lurk, that is the the whole point of the search feature. Which coincidentally enough is the subject of this particular thread.

Third, telling someone to check out another post is not rude. Their question is probably answered there already and since people are getting rightfully frustrated by answering the same questions over and over again, they might not get the responses that they are looking for on their own thread.

bananers

kaylalampear said:

SparklesC said:

I personally don't always have time to "lurk" and HOPEFULLY find a relatable post.

And therein lies the problem. If your time is so precious you only have time to post and run, you probably shouldn't be here. It's called a community for a reason - it should be equal parts give and take; not a personal concierge for instant answers to your questions. That's called google.

heawilliams

bananers said:

kaylalampear said:

SparklesC said:

I personally don't always have time to "lurk" and HOPEFULLY find a relatable post.

And therein lies the problem. If your time is so precious you only have time to post and run, you probably shouldn't be here. It's called a community for a reason - it should be equal parts give and take; not a personal concierge for instant answers to your questions. That's called google.

Just trying to help elaborate your point.

https://lmgtfy.com/?q=What+are+common+1st+trimester+pregnancy+symptoms?

Edit: text box fail. For those curious about Google, please click the link above.

m6tonner

The more I think about this, the more it annoys me. The "I don't have time to search or scroll, I want my needs met immediately" is exactly my frustration with the entitled special snowflake demographic. I was taught that if I have a question, utilize my resources. If I still have a question after I've done my best on my own, then it's appropriate to ask others. To say that you don't have time to do your own work, but expect others to spend their time answering a question that's being asked for the 10th time that day, is selfish. Your time is actually NOT more important or more valuable than anyone else's. If this makes me a "bully" then fine, but please stop being ridiculous. *end rant*

nicoleann21

@bananers I can't quote you because then it doesn't let me type but your google comment is the most perfect assessment of what is wrong with the "I can post whatever I want" mentality.  It's so selfish, this is a community not a search engine.  @daphnemoon1 had a great statement on another post the other day (hope you don't mind me quoting you here, but you're spot on) "It really grinds my gears when someone says they "don't have time" to read others post. So let me get this right, this community should take the time to answer your questions and help you out, but you don't have time to even look to see if your questions has already been answered today?"   

Full admission, my next statement is completely dramatic:  This is everything that is wrong with America today!  The sense of entitlement and selfishness is disgusting and despicable.  "I want what I want and I want it now, eff the big picture and everyone else".  Not cool, just not cool.  I've been very politely telling people where they can get the answers they're looking for and what is mean/rude/bullying is when I then get my face eaten off for actually trying to help -- just because it requires a little effort on your part as well doesn't mean it's not help -- when did hand outs become such an absolute expectation...?  Makes me sick.

Could we all maybe agree to take a second before we post something to consider the big picture rather than just ourselves..?

End rant.

m6tonner

@nicoleann21 I think we are spirit animals...

kmcc14

@nicoleann21 preach it!

MaMinette13

I think the frustrating thing for me is when I have time to sit and check the board it takes my over an hour to go through all the posts because there are so many repeats. I feel like I don't want to skip posts because it might be someone I want to get to know and support, but more often than not it's a drive by duplicate symptom.

Putting all the symptoms in one place really seems like the logical solution to keep the board open for all the other threads.

Just my two cents

mollyj931

To the last 4 or 5 posters:

You all get love tits!!

enkb

Ok, I completely understand the point of serching beforehand and agree that that is what needs to happen. This sticky thread at the top of the page is enough though, it is to the point where the posts asking people not to start new posts are more annoying than the constant repeat posts. We have heard it now, if we were going to listen we would have, please stop repeating this argument in a new post every day.

boxers&bling

Well said @nicoleann21 !

jonesl12

ChelseyBels

Search function = easy to use. If you don't get an answer on a busy post = maybe it was answered and we were all feeling too nauseous to answer again? simply telling someone there is another post with lots of answers to this same question = not rude.

On another note, when actual mean comments are posted on these repeat posts... Just remember it does not represent the whole board. One or two people being mean does not represent me. I think you'll find (with time) that most of these ladies are kind, with a touch (or more) of sarcasm. It's hard as hell to ignore when someone is being an asshole to you, but maybe walking away is the best answer.

Also: preggo brain is most definitely a thing.... Says the lady that just threw her socks in the toilet instead of the hamper. @anp153 \:D/

Heron422

Perusing through some posts and saw someone say they were freaked out because they hadn't heard any one mention cramps yet. Um, have you read ANY posts? Lol. Maybe there should be a sticky on just cramps. Or just a PSA on how important it is to just know your own body. Some women have NO IDEA what's going on down there and it's hard to keep blaming the school system at some point.

Edit: spelling is fun

ChelseyBels

Heron422 said:

Perusing through some posts and saw someone say they were freaked out because they hadn't heard any one mention cramps yet. Um, have you read ANY posts? Lol. Maybe there should be a sticky on just cramps. Or just a PSA on how important it is to just know your own body. Some women have NO IDEA what's going on down there and it's hard to keep blaming the school system at some point.

Edit: spelling is fun

I saw that. I chatted with her. There's been a ton of random chats about cramping, could be found through the search or chatted about in daily symptoms.

Heron422

Reading posts like,

Heron422

Paige6410

kmcc14

bride2014ohio said:

Anyone that actually uses this site and likes it is just a basic b***h. If you don't fit in here you should be happy because that means you are a decent human being. Heawilliams you are a weird Tracy Flick, type A, control freak. Do you actually own the bump? Because you act like you do. Peace out!!! Xoxo

Reported.

heawilliams

kmcconnell22 said:

bride2014ohio said:

Anyone that actually uses this site and likes it is just a basic b***h. If you don't fit in here you should be happy because that means you are a decent human being. Heawilliams you are a weird Tracy Flick, type A, control freak. Do you actually own the bump? Because you act like you do. Peace out!!! Xoxo

Reported.

Wow. I didn't even see that post.

bettertogether27

mollyj931 said:

To the last 4 or 5 posters:

You all get love tits!!

This. 400% or 500% this.