Rant of the Day

AmandaDCarroll

WARNING: This is an extremely long rant.

Backstory (rant not included): My boy (2 months old in 5 days, yay!) was being a cranky butt. It is actually a fairly rare occasion, but on this day he decided he wanted to wake up at 6 am and not let me put him to sleep until 11 am. The good news is I actually got a 10 minute smiling session and got a lot of pictures!! For future reference I exclusively pump breastmilk for my boy.

Actual Rant: I showed the pictures to my mom and told her how I got the smiling session even though he was being a cranky butt all morning. I wasn't trying to complain, and I definitely wasn't looking for advice. She had the audacity to say this: "You know, maybe you need to try formula. He may be cranky because your milk isn't satisfying him."

Now, I tried not to get Royally Pissed Off (RPO) because A) she is my mom, and I understand that she doesn't understand how low of a blow that comment really was, since she tried all of two days to breastfeed her oldest and didn't even bother with her other 2. (Which is fine. I am in no way saying formula feeding is inferior. I mean, I was formula fed.)

Of course though, I did get RPO. It couldn't be helped! And I told her that my milk was NOT the problem and that he is actually very rarely cranky. Pretty much our biggest and only problem with him right now is getting him to sleep on his own without being held (which may I add we were successful in a 3 1/2 hour stretch of bassinet sleep)...

It is at this point that she decides to tell me not to get my panties in a bunch. Excuse me? You just told me that my body, which is nourishing my child, is not good enough, and I shouldn't get my panties in a bunch?

Maybe I'm overreacting, but I just needed to rant. Feel free to post your own here!!

marms1987

I have been hearing this comment from my mom since day 1 with LO, every time he wakes up at night which is normal for a newborn she chooses to make this comment. I know it doesn't make it ok, but for some reason the older generation depended on formula and it's hard for them to understand that we are choosing the harder route! Don't let that comment get into your head, as for awhile I started to believe it and doubted myself, that put me under a lot of pressure. Just keep in mind that as long as your doctor thinks you are doing ok then you probably are! Good luck with your lo.

apbauer0615

Ugh I'm mad for you! Your mom should be supportive of you! You're giving your baby the best gift a mommy can, no matter how much you can produce. I have preemie twins and I do a combo of breastfeeding & bottle feeding my milk with neosure. We started to extend their feedings from every 3hrs to every 4hrs. The other night at 11pm (their last feeding before we try & sleep) I breastfed them when we normally bottle feed, and they didn't fall right to sleep after. My tired cranky husband snapped & said I can't breast feed at that time anymore they aren't full enough. I wanted to punch him & cry. I feel your pain.

vbonitto

I totally get that a comment like  that would upset you. I've gotten the same comments from my mom and others. I try not to take what they say seriously because they don't know what they're talking about. They have told me, "Shes small, why dont you give her formula so she can grow.." Now, that she's gained weight from almost exclusively BF, no one says anything anymore. Now they comment on her chubs and I just blame the breast milk!

AmandaDCarroll

Thank you. My husband got mad for me too. I'm glad, and lucky, he has been very understanding and supportive through this. It just made me angry that I told her of his crankiness once and she skips right to formula. I have already, a couple times, thought about how much easier it would be to switch to formula, just so I will stop getting all of of these darn plugged ducts I've been so prone to.

AmandaDCarroll

apbauer0615 said:

Ugh I'm mad for you! Your mom should be supportive of you! You're giving your baby the best gift a mommy can, no matter how much you can produce. I have preemie twins and I do a combo of breastfeeding & bottle feeding my milk with neosure. We started to extend their feedings from every 3hrs to every 4hrs. The other night at 11pm (their last feeding before we try & sleep) I breastfed them when we normally bottle feed, and they didn't fall right to sleep after. My tired cranky husband snapped & said I can't breast feed at that time anymore they aren't full enough. I wanted to punch him & cry. I feel your pain.

Twins are tough in the first place, I can barely keep up with my one. I am very impressed you are breastfeeding them at all, just because Im not sure I would be able to bting myself to do it. I'm sorry your husband didn't handle the situation very well. Keep it up! It is tough work!

apbauer0615

@AmandaDCarroll thank you! It is hard, esp mixing in pumping. but while they were in the NICU i felt like that was the only thing I could do to help them. @vbonitto My mother in law also made stupid comments like "Once you switch to formula they will really gain weight" my response was: "Yes they might gain more weight but it's just like if you ate a bag of chips vs carrots. You'd gain more weight but not be as healthy." Not to completely knock formula fed babies & moms, you gotta do what you feel is best for you & your little one.

Coco118

Ugh I'm mad on behalf of both of you @AmandaDCarroll and @apbauer0615! My husband's grandmother came to visit recently and I took DD, who is overall a very happy and content baby and was cheery when we left, to her room to nurse. When I brought her back out I asked the grandma if she wanted to hold her and she said yes. She proceeded to just put DD in her arms and turn to continue watching Fox News, not looking at or interacting with DD at all. My poor baby was looking up at her first, then looking all around, then finally started to fuss. She's used to playtime following feeding time and isn't used to having zero stimulation (she wasn't even being bounced or moved!). The grandma then hands her back to me and tells me "you didn't feed her enough, she's crying." I said she ate plenty and took her and put her on her play mat to play. 15 mins later she was over her mat and grandma goes "I told you she's still hungry. This is why you need formula, you aren't feeding her enough." X(
I kept my cool because she's 85. But now every time baby cries my husband thinks a funny "joke" is to tell me I'm starving her. (

AmandaDCarroll

@apbauer0615 That is a good way of putting the weight gain. This is exactly why, whenever I think of switching to formula, I dont. Honestly, this whole breastmilk thing isnt just healthy for my baby, it is healthy for me!

@Coco118 Definitely don't listen to grandma, that's for sure. The thing that bothers me most is my mom just got done visiting us 2 weeks ago... And she had been here for 2 1/2 weeks (we live in different states). In those weeks, she witnessed the baby doing well. So it caught me off guard that she even suggest such a thing.

apbauer0615

Yes ladies @Coco118 & @AmandaDCarroll I feel like a lot of people, esp older generation, think if a baby is fussy then they must be starving. There are many other things that can be making the baby unhappy!! We're the moms & we have to trust our instincts that we know what's best for our little ones! It's hard to let the dumb comments roll off your back when you're sleep deprived but we are all doing a great job!