Managing Paranoia/Fear?

Carazona5

Im just wondering if anyone else is having problems with being super scared to do anything wrong. I'm not even pregnant yet but you hear so much information about what you should or shouldn't do while TTC and while newly pregnant. Whenever I'm in A TWW period it's even worse. I google anything I want to put in my mouth beforehand and feel like if I move wrong or go over speed bumps too hard I'll trigger a MC even if I don't know yet that I'm pregnant.
The reasons for this tho are that I read so much that you shouldn't do or eat... Coffee, soft cheese, sushi, etc... And sometimes I hear ones that I had no idea of before and wonder what else I don't know that I might accidentally do.
They say if you're working out beforehand it's ok to keep doing it but that scares me too. Like if I make one wrong move I could do something damaging.
MC seems SO common and I feel like I've wanted kids for so long I won't handle it well
And then I get worried that all this worry is preventing me from even getting pregnant.

Anyone else or am I crazy?

GoldenKeys

I think a lot of us have had similar feelings.   I drove myself totally insane the first year that I was TTC, googling everything in sight.  After a while, I realized that there is very little within my control, once I've made the best effort to get sperm and egg in the same space at the same time.    As far as stress/worry etc -- they definitely are not a factor in getting pregnant.  Women around the world get pregnant in situations much more emotionally and physically stressful than ours - which is terrible and sad to think about but nonetheless true.

Outside of the general health and TTC considerations (folic acid, avoiding ibuprofen during TWW)  try to divert your attention to other things, like great reading or a hobby...   it doesn't make you get pregnant any faster but will keep you from driving yourself insane! :-)

rspalding001

I second trying to find a hobby that keeps your mind occupied. I know its tough, but we have all been there I think at one point or another. Its also true (at least for me) that the longer you have been trying for the less you worry because like @Goldenkeys said its pretty much out of your control.

Keep in mind that as far as the food related stuff goes, most of that is to keep you from getting food born illness which can potentially lead to a MC, and you would know pretty fast if you had food poisoning. But eating blue cheese or deli meat for example is not bad for an embryo or baby, they just worry about it making you sick and that's why they advise against unpasteurized cheese and cold cuts. The rest is more common sense type stuff like stay away from food high in mercury etc. 

Try and relax as best you can I know.. easier said than done :-)

GK2009

I hear you!  But... I can tell you from experience you are only going to make yourself more paranoid.  I did everything "right" in my first pregnancy and followed all the rules and I still had some complications.  On the flip side, I see and hear of people being totally care-free and disregarding the "rules" and thankfully all goes well for them.  I believe as long as you have the right intentions and do things that doctors tell you to do then you will be okay.  My OBGYN once told me-- throw out all of those books, they will make you crazy.  She also told me to avoid the internet-- haha!

Try to relax-- easier said than done.  Once you are pregnant (hopefully soon!!!) there will be a trusted doctor to guide you.  Just lead a healthy life for yourself and your pregnancy and you will feel good.  And start watching The Bachelorette or some other type of ridiculous show... you can worry about all of those people instead!  Good luck!

Carazona5

Thanks for all the advice. I love it! Lol you all made me laugh too which is always nice. Although the ib profin comment is yet one more example of something I didn't know about! Haha! I try to stay away from meds of any kind during TWW tho.
Thanks for the support, it helps just reading that I'm not the only one who freaks out over... Well... Nothing!

Tomerine

It's very stressful and if you're like me, you want to try to control everything. I was especially like that my first pregnancy, and I sadly miscarried anyway. I was looser the second time around and it turned out ok. It's hard to predict how things will go. I agree with PP, use common sense and try to shush that paranoid voice. Oh! And mindless TV is a great suggestion!

My Dr had even told me to have a glass of wine in early pregnancy if I didn't want people to know I was pregnant (not that I'm suggesting it. At all.)- I'm just saying that there are a lot of "rules" and even Drs bend them. It's hard to be strict about all of them and still maintain some feeling of normalcy as you try to lead your life.

Good luck to you!

Carazona5

Wow, yeah I've heard of that before actually - the wine thing. I don't drink but I certainly like my coffee! So if I can get a little less afraid of doing something wrong maybe I can still have a cup a day

KLake42

I've been trying not to obsess over everything too!  

One thing that actually has helped has been to consider how common MC is.  It's that common, and so if it happens, it doesn't mean I won't ever be able to get pregnant.  It doesn't even mean that I've done anything wrong.  Sometimes the genes just don't come together properly.  So it's so far out of my control, that I've got to just *let go* and have faith that even if it happens to me, it won't actually be the end of the world.

I mean, I'm trying to do a big, important thing.  And I'm a bad ass.  That means I'm not going to chicken out just because something can be hard.  I'm a bad ass, and I can handle hard.  

At least, that's the pep talk I give myself.  I can't say that it always works, but it seems to help.

Carazona5

That's really good actually! And so true when I think about it. And wlmost EVERYONE I know has had at least one. But I also know some who have kids and never have had one so there's that too! It's just so much easier to focus on the negative for some silly reason!
But you're absolutely right!

dolphin012

I was quite surprised by how large the list of don'ts were when we first started trying. I went in thinking alcohol, fish high in toxins, check any meds first and i would be good. I do try and follow most of the main rules during the tww, but i don't stress about it. The herbal teas have thrown me the most as i like to have a peppermint tea in the morning. I still do, but have cut back the amount some. Still haven't figured out how peppermint tea might be dangerous.....  Remember that most early miscarriages are from chromosomal abnormalities -- completely out of our control (for better or worse..). 

Hang in there and try not to worry too much!

jilligan14

@dolphin012 - wait, I thought peppermint tea was one of the safe ones? Is it bad? I can't seem to figure out what teas are good so I mostly just drink water these days...

bublesmiled

The TWW is the worst.  Between double guessing every clue my body might be giving me and trying to avoid the 'don'ts' it gets pretty annoying - even worse is watching the dh go on as if we're not waiting for any news.  Fingers crossed for all of us!

dolphin012

I have seen peppermint tea black-listed. I think with herbal teas it is that there just isn't research on them. I have not been worrying about it too much. I typically drink a good size pot of a very strong organic peppermint tea every morning. I doubt it is going to hurt anything, but as a compromise i have cut back on the amount and also drink read teas instead sometimes. 

emsmama15

I think teas are the hardest.  They seem so benign.  When I was pregnant the first time, I just stayed away from tea in general.  It's exhausting to figure out all the "don'ts."  I work in a NICU and I'm always amazed at the things women do, eat, take, and smoke while pregnant and I was feeling guilty because I had a little feta a couple times.  It's all about perspective.  I think moderation is key...