Mother in law again

emmybean123

sorry. Just needed a place to moan. My mother in law dryly said to me and my husband yesterday that she wasn't going to get excited that we are pregnant because I "could still miscarry". Why the hell would she say that. I'm 15 weeks. No one in her family or my family has had a late mkscarriage ever! I have had three early ones but I have only ever told my mother and husband, so she wouldn't know. But what a horrid thig to say to anyone She said she will start thinking about having a grandchild " if I make it to 25 weeks?!

VexyMommy

She sounds like she has no filter.  I'm very sorry you had to deal with that.  Is your SO also upset about her saying that?

Meganb005

Oh my gosh!! I would have freaked!! My hormones are raging and I probably would have blown up!! I'm so sorry that you had to listen to her day that! Enjoy your pregnancy and don't let her get you down!!

wulfpackgirl

That's awful! Some people just have no cooth!

thegingeravenger

I just saw red for you. It's at that point that I think I'd "thank her" for her sensitivity seeing as you've had early ones before. Or inform her that she now has no right to be excited at all. Congratulations on your rainbow baby

YummeeCookee

I always enjoy a good MIL rant bc mine is ridiculous too. So I am happy to commiserate w you.
What an uncalled for and nasty comment! How did you respond?

MirandaC1984

MILs are always a treat. Sorry to hear she said that to you. 

emmybean123

I didn't really no how to respond. My husband is at the point of ignoring comments like that and apologises to me for her being a b**** when we are alone. But I kind of just was like oh, well I don't think there's any need to worry. I feel pretty pregnant. And that kind of ending the conversation.. Feel free to moan about yours too haha. She's full of things like that and it's starting to get at me more now I'm a little more emotional. Particularly as we had gone on a picnic with them and I'd specifically requested to not drive far for the picnic as I don't travel well with sickness at the moment. She chose a castle 45 minutes away Grr. She's not going to like it when baby ends up spending more time with my family or aunties instead of her but I just a find myself dreading the comments from the next visit as they weigh on my mind so much xx

VexyMommy

I would explain to your SO that as long as she makes comments like that and arranges for things that don't work for you and the baby you can not be around her.  At that point it's on your SO to step up and talk to his mom about her lack of tact.  This may also be stemming from jealousy on her part of you and the baby being more important to HER baby so she's trying to throw her weight around, much like a spoiled child acting out when they don't get the attention they want.

EMLarie

Ugh! What an awful thing to say. Well she doesn't sound very fun to be around so maybe you can look on the bright side and figure that you don't have to deal with her for another 10 weeks or so (until... you know, SHE believes you're having a REAL baby). Don't include her on any baby stuff and if she protests, just tell her that you didn't think that was what she wanted based on her comment.

lindenmr

no offense to any of your mother-in-laws but I had to post this...

I'm so sorry you have to deal with such ignorant comments.  I really hope your SO mentions something to her, she actually listens, and you can spend time with your family without feeling so uncomfortable.  Sending hugs your way...

Falchas

I'm sorry you had to hear that, many congrats to you and your SO on your pregnancy!  Hope you and your hub can come up with some good defense strategies before the next visit.  My husband and I find humor helps a lot when we are with his parents (who often speak without thinking).  We probably come across as pretty immature when we can't stop laughing at ourselves, but it usually goes over their heads and gets us through the conversation with our sanity intact.

oliarnmom1517

I hate when people are downers like that..I know how it feels to have somebody say stupid stuff like that to you..Don't let her get to you and like another poster said just have your SO talk to her..maybe she will listen to him

SJFTCA

Ugh, I would be so annoyed and hurt by such a comment! My MIL is annoying me too. She's very demanding, and I'm very headstrong and DO NOT like being told what to do. Yesterday, on MH's bday, she brought out a brand new, still in the box, pack and play...that she bought for herself, not for us. She also asked us a few weeks ago what kind of car seat we wanted, and we naively assumed she was buying it for us, and once again, she wanted to get it for herself.

Yesterday, my MIL also demanded that I sit outside and watch MH play cornhole...in the 90 degree weather in an all black outfit. She also said that when she keeps the baby, she is going to let him or her run around with food in both hands (she said this bc I'm really picky, and I can only assume she thinks this means I won't feed my own child). So essentially, I felt like she was already telling me that she isn't going to listen to me and will let my child do whatever he or she wants. I can't believe I'm already so annoyed and the baby won't be here for another six months! I feel your pain!

Michsmelle

What a sick thing to say to a pregnant woman, much less your own daughter-in-law! Betcha wish you could have responded with, "Well, I decided not to get too attached to you, given that you only have another couple decades left."

Laura&brad1

Argh I can't handle people
That have no filter! My mil doesn't really talk about the pregnancy at all and my boss said to me well don't get excited cos you know your probably just going to miscarry again I was so upset so now I just don't talk to those people about the pregnancy there loss! Hope your mil sorta herself out! Congrats on your rainbow baby!

jamiem522

What a bitch. Can I say that on here?

mbates87

That is quite an awful comment. Are you sure we don't have the same MIL? I just recently decided to cut ties with mine after an almost unbearable 3 day trip with her and my husband. One of the milder things she has done is give my husband and I a 30 minute lecture about how selfish and rude we are because we bought a crib already for the baby. Apparently we are awful people for wanting to be prepared. And this is the pg rated annoying stuff she does. So done with the negativity.

emmybean123

Oh yeah. I can't imagine what she would say if we had bought something for baby yet! She's told us several times not to buy things yet until we are "sure". We won't be allowing her into the nursery at all. Oh dear...3 days. I'm in Canada for two weeks with them. Oops. Who's idea was that? I wasn't pregnant at the time of booking hahah!

mom4liak

My MIL said to my hubby and I that she isn't excited for us to have this baby because it should be my sister in laws turn. BTW, my sister in law isn't married or even dating anyone!! I don't expect anything more from her anyways since she set my hubby up on a blind date (he thought he was going over to help his dad take care of some things) while I was pregnant with our 3rd child and had a 4 and a 1 year old at home. My husband figured out her scheme pretty quickly and flipped out on her. To this day she wonders why we don't visit very often!?!??

mbates87

Yikes I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with a monster in law. Hopefully these ladies will let us be and we can focus on all the positives!

Lsager424

Your MIL sounds like a real asshole. Sorry if that's too harsh, but even more sorry you need to deal with that insanity,

phyllisnefler

I'm so sorry to hear these evil stories. Some women just never grow up, no matter how old they get.

Some of you may find comfort and community on the "Raised by Narcissists" Reddit board. Even though this thread here seems to be mostly about in-laws and not your own parents, perhaps it will help to know that you're not alone in dealing with toxic humans in the family. 

Here is the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/

tmandato1234

I feel like all mother in laws are going to be like that unless you have one that is always on a happy drug. My first pregnancy ended up being ectopic and the mother in law said it was my karma !! What a bitch and that was right after I had partial of my Fallopian tube removed and told I have a 50% chance to conceive

urby87

tmandato1234 said:

I feel like all mother in laws are going to be like that unless you have one that is always on a happy drug. My first pregnancy ended up being ectopic and the mother in law said it was my karma !! What a bitch and that was right after I had partial of my Fallopian tube removed and told I have a 50% chance to conceive

Wow, rude!  What could you have possibly done to deserve an ectopic pregnancy?!  My sister had one that wasn't detected until 8w (she also lost the tube), and I would never, ever say somebody deserved to go through that.  Some of these stories are just awful!