Self soothing?

mrsmeyer419

I usually let LO cry for 5 minutes before going and checking on her just because well babies will fuss every now and again. However lately when I check on her to see if she needs a diaper change fed etc she will be fine so I'm trying to let her self soothe but it breaks my heart to hear her cry. I also don't want her to CIO so I'm torn... Advice?

etayislove

Babies can't self soothe, it's a complete myth, they don't have the brain capacity to take advantage of you or make decisions like I'm going to cry. Babies react to stimuli from their bodies and their needs. It's tough at first, especially if it's your first.

mrsmeyer419

She's my first, I don't want her to lay there and cry her self to exhaustion. All I can think is she's thinking where's mommy why isn't she coming?? And it kills me, but everyone keeps telling me I can't just hold her everytime she cries, but I feel like if she's crying and her diaper is fine she's fed burped etc she probably just needs to feel safe or somethin around those lines

ewilson74

@mrsmeyer419, trust your own instincts. You can not spoil a baby by responding to it. Read up on what is referred to as the fourth trimester; babies are born before they are ready and really need comfort. May want to check out The Wonder Weeks as well. Your little one is approaching her first leap (4 1/2 weeks), expect more crying.

MommaBre2007

My SO and I just argued about this. He has a daughter who is 4 and I have a 7 year old. We are a blended family with different experiances with each child. My daughter HATED being held. From the time she was born. His daughter was born 6 weeks early and cried but was in the nicu and could not be held. When she came home ssh e cried but also hated being held. Our baby loves being snuggled. He thinks its because I "spoil" her by holding her. I told him our children were not like most. Most love being held when first born because in the womb they are warm and snuggled up. Ive come to the conclusion he is a twit.

vbonitto

It's your baby. Newborns aren't manipulative or spoiled. Babies will cry for no other reason other than to be held and want to be with mommy. That's a good enough reason. That doesn't mean she is spoiled. It means she's a baby who can't take care of herself and needs you to comfort her. If you feel like you need to hold her because she is crying, then follow your instincts. 

etayislove

Your instincts are right on momma, hold your little one as long as you want whenever you want, for whatever reasons. Babies need their caregivers just to know they are safe. It's a whole new world outside of your body, but babies know you, your voice, your smell, your body sounds. Don't listen to any other advice unless it jivves with what your heart is telling you! Best of luck mama :x

mrsalvidrez

Holding your baby is not spoiling your baby. I don't let my little boy cry to sleep or cry at all really, yes, this is my personal choice and doesn't have to be yours, but don't let anyone tell you one way is right or wrong. Just remember babies do need a lot of love and care. I have basically put myself in a position where j can't set my kid down which is an inconvenience, but he will only be this little once and when he is grown j doubt I will ever say "oh I wish I would've held him less".