I am a stepmom to a wonderful 4 yr old girl (she will be 5 by the time the baby arrives) and I am currently just over 8 wks pregnant with me and my husbands first child together. My step daughter sleeps in the bed with us and although it kind of irritated me previously I just dealt with it because she had always slept in the bed with my husband and her mom. Now that I am pregnant I am waking up in the middle of the night incredibly agitated and frustrated (possibly due to hormones?) and can't go back to sleep because I don't have enough room, can't get comfortable, keep getting kicked and hit, etc. I have moved to the couch a few times lately just so I could get some sleep. I know my discomfort is only going to increase ad i get farther along in my pregnancy and need more room in the bed so my question is have you been in the same situation? If so what did you do? Suck it up and continue bed-sharing because that's what the child is used to? Started the process of moving the child to their own bed? Perhaps you started sleeping elsewhere? I tried to talk to my husband about having her sleep in her own bed before I got pregnant but he pretty much just blew it off. Should I try again now that I'm only going to get even more uncomfortable?
Re: Pregnant and bed-sharing with a 4 yr old...
I was having trouble because of my SO snoring - I woke angry until I had a plan. It's just not fun trying to be creative on how to fall asleep at 3 am when you're pregnant.
Quickest solution: Can you sleep in your stepdaughters bed? <-- should be temporary and might still be stressful
The last thing you need is more stress! What is your stepdaughters motivation style?
Could you set up a chart where she gets a sticker for every night she goes in to her bed for the night? Maybe after 5 stickers, she gets to pick a reward from the dollar store? This style works well with my 5yo son.
You could also talk about it and say "one of the ways your going to be such a good big sister is by setting a good example for the baby. Can you help me come up with a good bedtime routine for you that will also be good for the baby one day?" I.e. Brush teeth + sip of water + story + song + night light + lights out
Also, during the day reinforce any independent behavior your stepdaughter exhibits. Tell her how proud you are that she put her dishes away or put her dirty clothes in the hamper all by herself.
I feel for you and wish you best of luck!