TTTC Checkin - 05/12/2015

GoldenKeys

Good morning, everybody! 

What's going on this week? Post any updates... and good luck this cycle!

PAGING:

@GoldenKey: dx:unexplained  treatment: currently benched, getting healthy
@kittycap ; dx: PCOS  treatment: Clomid
@kristylang ; dx:Low counts/quality  treatment: Clomid+IUI
@jurba25 ; dx:PCOS/hypothyroidism  treatment: Clomid
@starlitfae dx:Unexplained, thyroid  treatment: Synthroid, femara, trigger+IUI
@chaconvanessa: dx:testing phase  treatment: Charting
@KidShrink: dx:Immature follies, thin lining   treatment: Femara/Ovidrel/Prometrieum
@mandasand: dx: low AMH  treatment:IVF
@jnissa: dx: DOR   treatment: IVF
@AnnieBananie90:  dx: PCOS   treatment: Clomid + TI
@Boogaloou: dx: PCOS +MFI  treatment:metformin, femara, Purgon + IUI
@27alex: dx: unknown  treatment: waiting to test


NEWCOMERS:

To be added to the Weekly Checkin, please answer the following:

1.  How long have you been TTC?

2.  What is your diagnosis?

3.  What is your current treatment plan?


Question of the Week:   Have you shared your infertility treatment plan with your family/friends, or are you keeping it quiet for now?   Have your RE appointments caused any issues with your job?

GoldenKeys

SmileyMcGee

GoldenKeys

This week I've been concentrating on weight loss, and also doing things for my mom in honor of Mother's day.   For mother's day  I bought her a silver keepsake box with picture frames on each side, and had pics of my brothers and sister put in each frame.  Then I had the box engraved with her name and a personal note.

I thought about buying one for myself  as sort of a 'hope' chest but decided against it.  I figure if I see it month after month with no success, it will begin to mock me and make me feel bad.

I've gotten the 'juicing' bug and have been drinking green smoothies for breakfast and it's definitely helping to take the pounds off!!  I swear that I have to work 10x harder to take off the pounds that I put on from fertility meds   I just don't get it.

I hope that everybody is doing well this week!

AnnieBananie90

AF came the day before Mother's day. DH and I decided that we were going to take this month off due to vacation, and we will most likely take the rest of the summer off from treatment due to travel plans. 

Have you shared your infertility treatment plan with your family/friends, or are you keeping it quiet for now? Our close friends and family know what we are doing, and have been very supportive. I am a pretty open person, and I got tired of answering their questions about when we wanted to have kids. 

 Have your RE appointments caused any issues with your job? My job is super flexible with time off, which has been a big blessing. I don't have to worry about my last minute appointments. 

27alex

AF coinciding with Mother'd day was rough this cycle (hugs @anniebanannie90 . Trying to focus on losing some weight and getting more healthy each cycle.

Any tips for getting DH on board to test? I don't want to push him but I also feel like after 3 years of unprotected sex, the odds of us conceiving on our own are very low.
Id personally like to get the testing over with and move forward.

jnissa

AF came for me today, which is no surprise since we weren't trying and didn't even have sex last month (he was on shift in the ER for a month, that pretty much shuts down our sex life - boo). Hubby has his SA this week. I think we're waiting another month to do my day 3 bloodwork since I just stopped BFing a week ago. So my total activity this week is sticking with supplements

@27alex - Is he not on board to test? Or is he just not as motivated as you are? 

Have you shared your infertility treatment plan with your family/friends, or are you keeping it quiet for now?

IVF is so common in my circle of friends that we talk about it willy nilly. Like, "Oh, I'm supposed to cycle in July so can we do Vegas in August instead?" I'm not even making this up. This is the way the world is going. But I keep it from my family for the most part because nobody wants to get their hopes up for them until we're sure we're pregnant.

kristylang

Hugs to you ladies who just got AF. I'm waiting for mine.

As far as family and close friends at the beginning of our journey we decided to keep it between us. Then when we got the news of my levels being low I felt that I would need support from my family and close friends. We decided to tell them but told them not to ask questions. My DH told his family he will keep them up to date on what's going on and not to bring it up to me because emotionally I couldn't handle the questions and comments. My sister has been such a huge support in sending me care package and on Saturday she gave me a necklace that says "Always in my heart...someday in my arms". I absolutely love it and truly have been grateful for her during this time.

I am a teacher and my department chair and principal have been amazing with me coming in late or having to use sick time. I took the summer off as we are beginjng our first IVF round as soon as I get AF.

I hope everyone has someone to lean on because it's always nice just to chat. This board has been an amazing support for me as well. I thank all of you and am here if anyone needs a chat. Hugs to all!!!!

27alex

@jnissa I think it's a combination of the two. He really needs to stop smoking and cut down on the drinking. I think that he thinks an re might tell him I'm right about that and he's being stubborn.

He also has said he doesn't want it to become a job...that he wants it to happen naturally. I guess I'm just past that.

GoldenKeys

@27alex  It sounds like you might need to have a come to Jesus conversation with your DH.   Three years is long enough, and if it hasn't happened yet, it's not going to happen naturally. I know that this might sound a little harsh to say but I would be pretty upset in your shoes and wouldn't let him get away with wasting my fertile
years any longer.   He is being a bit selfish at this point.

I would ask him how much longer he is willing to 'try naturally' before getting some help, and get him to nail down a timeline.   99% of the sacrificial 'work' of treatment is going to be on you.   If you wait too long, depending on your age, you could end up with more issues.

AnnieBananie90

@27alex, 

Is he not on board with you gettng tested, or doing the SA?

27alex

He seems to be ok with me getting testing done. I had some initial bloodwork and an ultrasound done by my OB before I knew better.

@GoldenKeys I had a meltdown last night that's been building for a few months now. I basically said that I wasn't moving forward until he took steps to get healthier because enough is enough.

I think he has a fear that his SA will come back with not so great results. He was on board to do the SA in the fall but we had issues with Tricare so he never did it. We now know we have to pay OOP for his testing and have been saving for that so there's not too many excuses left.

tiffk10

I intro'd here a while ago, but would like to be added to the check-in

1. How long have you been TTC?
19 cycles

2. What is your diagnosis?
PCOS

3. What is your current treatment plan?
Mid cycle now. We started 5mg Femara CD3-7, monitor day 12, TI. Next cycle we will move to 7.5mg Femara and maybe IUI.

Question of the Week:

My mom knows what's going on with a lot of detail. Most of my immediate family knows surface level that we are going through testing/treatments. My SOs family doesn't know very much. So far my appointments have lined up with the weekends/days off. I'm hoping if we need to move forward after this cycle I can work things out with my schedule since summer is more flexible here.

tiffk10

@27alex sorry to hear about the struggle getting your DH to test/move forward. I can imagine how frustrating that must be.

AnnieBananie90

27alex said:

He seems to be ok with me getting testing done. I had some initial bloodwork and an ultrasound done by my OB before I knew better.

@GoldenKeys I had a meltdown last night that's been building for a few months now. I basically said that I wasn't moving forward until he took steps to get healthier because enough is enough.

I think he has a fear that his SA will come back with not so great results. He was on board to do the SA in the fall but we had issues with Tricare so he never did it. We now know we have to pay OOP for his testing and have been saving for that so there's not too many excuses left.

I
get his hesitation. My DH was really hesitant about doing the SA. I honestly
think for him, it had a lot to do with him being worried about the results and
the awkwardness of test. He was embarrassed by the whole thing. But what really
helped him go through with it was knowing that I had already done the
"easy" testing with my OB. And the
next steps for testing for me were a lot more invasive than a blood draw, so he
realized that he would be putting me through unnecessary discomfort and testing
if the issue was with his sperm. And I reminded him that I was willing to get
poked and prodded repeatedly, and this was the only testing he would need to do. 

Hopefully
your DH will come around to it. I know a lot of RE's who won't go forward with
the SA. Maybe you can make it fun for him and go with him.

.

jnissa

@27alex - that's a tough one. 

I think everything everybody else said is good advice. nobody wants this to become "a job," but at some point "wait for it to happen naturally" isn't realistic. does he know that the medical definition of IF is one year? 

you're not the first person on this board to have encountered a reluctant husband. in fact, my donor egg rep told me that the number one reason people abandon treatment (other than money) is that they have to use donor sperm and then men can't handle it. given how sensitive men are about the topic, it's not surprising he's so scared to find out if the issue is him (which is really what's happening). 

honestly, IF is very hard on relationships if you're not on the same page. would he be more likely to go to some counseling with you than get his SA? that might be a place to start. 

27alex

jnissa said:

@27alex - that's a tough one. 

I think everything everybody else said is good advice. nobody wants this to become "a job," but at some point "wait for it to happen naturally" isn't realistic. does he know that the medical definition of IF is one year? 

you're not the first person on this board to have encountered a reluctant husband. in fact, my donor egg rep told me that the number one reason people abandon treatment (other than money) is that they have to use donor sperm and then men can't handle it. given how sensitive men are about the topic, it's not surprising he's so scared to find out if the issue is him (which is really what's happening). 

honestly, IF is very hard on relationships if you're not on the same page. would he be more likely to go to some counseling with you than get his SA? that might be a place to start. 

That's really good advice. I'm going to bring up counseling.

Thank you everyone!!!

GoldenKeys

27alex I'm so sorry that you and your DH aren't on the same page.  It took me a month to convince my DH to go for the SA but after that he was fully on board.    I can definitely understand financial concerns or religious reservations about treatments, but I have very little patience with men being reluctant to test themselves while allowing their wives to bear the entire burden of treatment.

Maybe you could convince him to go with you to the RE for 'support', and then call ahead and ask the RE to bring up and address his concerns.   This is what I did.   However,  I'm probably not the best to give further advice on this matter because if my DH continued to refuse to test I had already decided that I would become a mother with or without his help, and I told him so.   That would definitely not go over well for any other marriage I know!

GoldenKeys

tiffk10  Welcome back, I've added you to the checkin!

jurba25

sorry I'm a day late! Started my every other day with my DH hoping for a good first clomid cycle but not getting my hopes up. Glad to see everyone seems to be having a good week.

Yes I have shared my family and friends my plan they are very supportive and help me threw it. I am not see an RE yet but that's not are next step. But I'm very lucky in my work is very flexible

AnnieBananie90

@jurba25,  are you being monitored during your clomid cycle?

27alex

AnnieBananie90 said:

@jurba25,  are you being monitored during your clomid cycle?

This. Did you have all the proper testing? Bloodwork, ultrasound, HSG, and a SA for DH?

Vane55a1CJ

We are in the trying phase...having fun with it too...trying to relax and enjoy!
I have discussed with a total of 3 close friends, 2 of which had difficulties ttc. I haven't talked to family but with everyone asking I might not be keeping the secret for long. Thinking of meeting with a RE next month (FX I won't need to) but I make my own schedule so work shouldn't be that much of a problem.

jurba25

@AnnieBananie90

No I just go for blood work on the 21st. Are there things I should look for or do?

jurba25

@AnnieBananie90


And yes my DH was tested, I had blood work no ultrasound.

AnnieBananie90

@jurba25, you should really be seeing an RE when using clomid. Typically, an U/S should be done around Cycle Day 3 when you start clomid, then another U/S mid-cycle to make sure clomid isn't causing any cysts and you are responding to the clomid. Clomid has been known to thin the lining of the uterus, so this is also checked. It is important to know how many mature follicles you have, so you don't get into an octa-mom situation. If you have too many mature follicles, you run the risk of high order multiples. The 21 day blood draw is just to check progresterone typically, but that doesn't not give you any other infortmation.  I would highly suggest that you see an RE and get the proper testing done. Clomid has a lifetime max of about 6 cycles, so it's a good idea to run all the test before you start. Have you had an HSG? 

jurba25

@AnnieBananie90

What's HSG? And my obgyn said to try it and if I don't get pregnant after my first cycle then to see the RE. I've gotten pregnant before and it wasn't successful either time. I don't ovulate and I rarely get my period. She said I have PCOS and now I know why I have a lot of issues I have. Should I call my obgyn and get a recommendation for a RE even thou I've already started this cycle?

KidShrink

I'm also on the bench trying to get healthier and waiting for my hysteroscopy. We made the decision not to do a 4th medicated cycle prior to the surgery. I'm also waiting on confirmation from my RE for a pre-op appointment where we'll discuss our post-op plan. Hubby has been amazingly supportive and didn't want me to go through all the appointments (I get monitoring on day 3, and then every day from CD9 to LH surge (typically CD12, with BW and US every day) when there's little hope of it working. We've talked about our game plan post surgery and that feels good. So now I'm working out with a personal trainer in hopes of losing 10-15 lbs by my surgery. That might get seriously compromised by our vacation in Italy at the end of June though (for our wedding anniversary and what we were hoping would be our babymoon...). AF came two days before Mother's Day and I was a complete mess all day. Better now though.
We've been very open with friends and family about what we're going through...I felt I had to because the questions and constant monitoring of my stomach and drinks was getting a little too much. Most people have been really good. My poor FIL is so anxious to be a grandpa and that breaks my heart a little. Bad timing on his part, but he sent me a text with a picture of a shirt he got about being a grandfather and how he couldn't wait to wear it.
Good luck to everyone this week!

Boogaloou

Sorry I'm also a few days late here guys! I'm also one of the lucky AF receivers this week but as I didn't ovulate last month I'm glad we are starting a fresh cycle! My DH is determined this month is the month! Fx.
I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut about anything so I have been really open about our journey through this. I always need to talk out my feelings. The risk you take with that however is some negative feedback and I've had that along the way. I have also discovered a lot of other women in my life that have had similar challenges and that's always encouraging (at least when all of them but one have successfully conceived eventually - that one adopted, and has a positive story about that). I think We all just really want to know we're not alone.

GoldenKeys

jurba25 said:

@AnnieBananie90

What's HSG? And my obgyn said to try it and if I don't get pregnant after my first cycle then to see the RE. I've gotten pregnant before and it wasn't successful either time. I don't ovulate and I rarely get my period. She said I have PCOS and now I know why I have a lot of issues I have. Should I call my obgyn and get a recommendation for a RE even thou I've already started this cycle?

An HSG is a test to check for blocked fallopian tubes,  where they inject dye into your uterus during a special ultrasound.  Blockages are very common and it's not a good idea to move into treatment with one.  With a blockage at best you could be cutting your chances by half (or completely).  At worst you could have a risk for ectopic pregnancy.

If you have PCOS you have a higher risk of over responding to meds because you already have many more immature follies in play than non-PCOS women.  I would insist on at least an ultrasound.  Finally, one of the side effects of Clomid is the thinning of the uterine walls, potentially making implantation impossible.  So you could ovulate but not have a sold place for the fertilized egg to land, ending with a BFN or early miscarriage.   This is why it's important to go to an RE who will monitor you properly on meds...

GoldenKeys

KidShrink  GL with your weight loss, and have a fabulous time in Italy!  Feel free to post a pic or two of the sites so that I can pretend to be on vacation myself. I love Italy.

Boogaloou  I'm glad that you met a few people IRL who can talk you through this.  I joined an infertility support group a while back and it has made all the difference.   Fertile people can say some really rude and hurtful "advice" sometimes. :-(

AnnieBananie90

Thanks for answering @GoldenKeys!

jurba25

Thanks @AnnieBananie90

I'm going to cal on Monday

AnnieBananie90

jurba25 said:

Thanks @AnnieBananie90

I'm going to cal on Monday

Let us know how it goes!

27alex

jurba25 said:

@AnnieBananie90

What's HSG? And my obgyn said to try it and if I don't get pregnant after my first cycle then to see the RE. I've gotten pregnant before and it wasn't successful either time. I don't ovulate and I rarely get my period. She said I have PCOS and now I know why I have a lot of issues I have. Should I call my obgyn and get a recommendation for a RE even thou I've already started this cycle?

Also, it's important to know that Clomid has a 6 cycle lifetime maximum. You don't want to potentially waste one of these cycles with your OB or without proper monitoring or testing. As @GoldenKeys mentioned, the HSG looks for blocked tubes. If your tubes are blocked, the Clomid is ineffective.