Pregnant and newly divorced parents

mtinmia

I am pregnant and my parents recently separated and are going through a divorce. I'm very excited about my pregnancy of course, but my parents situation brings a lot of sadness to an otherwise joyful time.

Does anybody have advice for navigating this, particularly the time around delivery? We are all very new to navigating their separation and my mother in particular is not able to keep things civil. My parents and in laws all want to come in from out of town when we have our baby, but the thought of them all out there in the waiting room makes my skin squirm!

Any advice would be much appreciated.

heatheremanderson

Being that it has only been in the recent years my parents remotely get along you have a few options:

1. If you want them both to be there near time of delivery - set ground rules. Any outbursts result in being asked to leave. It may get a few upsets but this moment will not be about them

2. Don't have either parent present to avoid someone feeling dismissed and have them over at home - separately - after the baby is born. (Feel free to use the excuse you are overwhelmed, want to get to know the baby on your own first, etc)

Remember ultimately you have final say over who is with you and when.

saric83

If it were me, I would go with PP's second suggestion of just having them over to your house separately once you're home.  

Our parents are all divorced and re-married, and they get along as well as we could ever hope for, but I still don't want to deal with all of them wanting to hold him at the same time, just waiting around, and them potentially bickering with each other.  

Both sets of mine are in-town, and both sets of DH's are nearly five hours away, so I would rather them not waste the time traveling until he's actually here anyway.  So we're not telling anyone until we're ready to leave the hospital, and we'll let each set know when they can head over.  

PrimRoseMama

A) Stop taking their personal, life-changing situation & making it about you. Really, I get that being pregnant is a game-changer, but it shouldn't be the sun everyone else orbits. They are allowed to bust up, feel sad & experience their life without having to worry how it might affect you.

I'd reserve the time in the hospital just for you. You can receive all visitors individually at home.

C) let them work it out like adults. You will be having a baby & it's not up to you to play marriage counselor or referee. Your job is to have the baby.