This might be long but I would really appreciate some advice about how to handle my MIL at the moment. I have been with my DH for 16 years and my MIL and I have generally got on quite well but she has a history of passive aggressive behaviour towards everyone (including me at various times over the years). For example, my BIL's wife, her sister and her brother all don't speak to her for various reasons and she has a history of saying some very nasty things about her grandchildren which upsets a lot of people. FIL is great, but very much under her thumb. My FIL and her live around 1.5 drive away yet never make the effort to visit us and our first child (now aged 6), they have visited us twice in two years, and we have usually gone to see them every six weeks or so, until I fell pregnant. When I fell pregnant my husband and I decided to renovate and have been very busy, hence we have only seen them 4 times in the last 9 months, which MIL finds unacceptable and of course probably blames me for. This is just the way it has always been with my DH and his parents, he is the 'good child' who puts in the effort and is barely appreciated for it. She has shown minimal interest in our first child which DH finds very upsetting and the last time we were down there was borderline nasty to him, which was confusing for him and which is her passive aggressive way of trying to hurt me. She has not been interested in my pregnancy, not that I expect her to be, but for example when my SIL (who is lovely!) commented on how exciting it was that we were having another baby, MIL just replied coldly 'yep!'. So clearly the opposite of excited and that really hurt.
As we were leaving she hugged and me and said with a big fake smile "I don't know WHAT we're going to do when the baby arrives!" which I took as her way of trying to intimate that she was unsure whether they would be able to come up and see the baby. Now I love my FIL, but there is no way in hell we are driving a newborn baby down to see them when they are perfectly capable of driving up here! I am getting really sick of her silly nastiness and now see what my BIL's wife has had to deal with for so long. I mentioned it to my husband, but he didn't think she meant it that way. If she does try and get out of seeing the baby when he is born, what should I do? This has really been hanging over me the whole pregnancy as I don't deal well with conflict and to be honest has been a huge stress on me. Need some advice on how to either approach it, or let it go! Thanks xxx