Early Signs of Anxiety

MamaSquishyB

Hi there,

I used to hang out on The Bump a lot when I was pregnant and after my baby was born, but took a hiatus for a while.  My son's 5 1/5 years old now and in Kindergarten!  I'm making my way back to ask for some advice.

As a child, I suffered from anxiety throughout my childhood.  It manifested as stomach aches, and after years of talking to different doctors and such, I finally self-diagnosed (which was later confirmed by a doctor) that I have Social Anxiety Disorder and mild depression.  I still suffer from this anxiety almost daily, including frequent stomach aches, but I've learned to deal with it as best I can.  Anyway, my son Levi is a very bright, very active little boy.  He's happy most of the time.  However, recently he's been showing some signs of anxiety.  Two days ago, he came home from school very upset because the bigger kids in after school were too loud and played a little too rough with him.  Nothing serious, but it really upset him and he cried most of the way home.  Yesterday morning, he woke up saying that he didn't want to go to school because his body felt "mushy", his stomach ached, and at one point he ran to the bathroom and tried to throw up (unsuccessfully).  He didn't have a fever or anything, so I took him to school as normal, but told his teacher I'd be happy to pick him up if it continued or a fever showed up.  It never did.  Teacher said he didn't complain about it once throughout the day, and he was happy and came home saying he'd had a great day.

This whole scenario brings back many memories of my own childhood, waking up frequently with stomach aches, unable to go to school.  But when I DID go to school, the stomach aches went away and I had a good day.

I don't want Levi to end up with the same anxiety I've had all these years.  It's not fun.  I want him to be a happy, well adjusted, confident child.  Since this is only his first episode, I'm not ready to rush him to a psychologist just yet... but I'd love some advice.  What can you suggest that I try to help eliminate his anxiety and prevent it in the future?

Thanks so much.

neverblushed

There is some evidence that children may have anxiety if a parent also does.

However, I know MANY people who have anxiety disorders who have happy, fulfilled lives.  They just have to have coping strategies, and maybe medications, that help them deal with the anxiety.  In a lot of ways, it's like suffering from migraines: they try to avoid migraine triggers, take medicine when they do have migraines, and just roll with it.

So, if your son does turn out to have a tendency towards anxiety, it doesn't mean he won't have a happy life.  For one thing, you are already aware of the symptoms, you know what he's going through, and you'll support him.  It sounds like you didn't have that kind of support from parents when you were growing up.

Both of my kids are probably more anxious than typical kids, but not at the level where they would have a formal diagnosis.  My daughter went through a phase where she was anxious about throwing up and would have panic attacks... which would make her feel even more like she was going to throw up.  When my son was in K he also had some incidents similar to what you describe with your son. I just try to talk them through it, support them, talk about strategies they can use to calm themselves (deep breathing, keeping control of your thoughts, etc.)

A lot can change between 5 1/2 and 7 1/2.  If he's still really suffering with an unusual amount of anxiety and complaining of stomach pain at that point, and normal techniques of talking it out and using relaxation don't seem to work, I'd start with the pediatrician.  When my DD was having panic attacks, our wonderful nurse practitioner at our pedi's helped her break the cycle. 

Cadamsxo

Here is a good article on talking about anxiety with kids. Both of our dogs died within a month period and my son was terrified I was going to die while he was a school and did not want to go...

Anyways hopes this helps.

https://www.heysigmund.com/anxiety-in-kids/