I've rewritten this post about ten times. I'm finding it hard to say hello to a group where I know no one wants to be. I'm so sorry for everyone's losses and would like to tell the story of my own.
I got my BFP the Wednesday before Valentine's day and called that day, but they wouldn't see me until I was 8 weeks along and my husband was out of town that week so we had our first U/S at 9+1wks, baby was healthy, heartbeat strong, and momma was relieved and surprised that she actually could make a baby. This was our first and we were ecstatic.
I made my appointment where I would be a day shy of 12 wks, we opted not to do NT testing so it would just be listening to the heartbeat and a blood draw and I told my husband he didn't have to go with me.
So the day of my appointment came and I thought I was really rocking this pregnant thing I only had about a week of morning sickness and was already getting my energy back. I went in and the Dr couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler, but told me it was really common then sent me for an ultrasound that would change my world. I got in there and as soon as she measured the baby I knew it wasn't big enough and I asked her point blank if it had a heartbeat. She said no and that she was sorry.
That day I drove to where my husband worked and called him on the phone to meet me in the parking lot. I hated making that phone call knowing the news I was about to give him would hurt him so. He has been nothing but supportive since we found out.
I choose to have a D&C done 4 days after we found out because I just couldn't carry our little one around just waiting. By the size the baby stopped growing at 9.5wks just days after our U/S.
Today it has been 4 wks since I found out and 3.5wks since the D&C, and tomorrow I would have been 16wks pregnant.
I can't thank you all enough for being here, even though I know it is a road nobody wanted to walk down.
What I wanted to say in that whole mess of rambling is Hello my name is Bethany and I want so much to have a rainbow.