Baby shower themes and ideas please!!

chelsea+summer

Hi guys, what did you do at your baby showers? Mine will be coming up shortly and I want to have some ideas of what to do. I am not just going to be 'doing nothing' I would like to be involved. Please post pictures and ideas for baby showers!

NoSugarCoating

It's not your place to be involved. A shower is a gift to you. It's incredibly rude to dictate how that gift is given. 

chelsea+summer

You have your own thoughts which is fine. But we don't always have to have the same thoughts, I would like to have a part in mine as many others do.

NoSugarCoating

chelsea+summer said:

You have your own thoughts which is fine. But we don't always have to have the same thoughts, I would like to have a part in mine as many others do.

@CatsAreShady @KonaCoffeeBean @PrimRoseMama @BlueWaffleSpeshul I don't have the patience for this tonight. 

SantistevanMommie

NoSugarCoating said:

chelsea+summer said:

You have your own thoughts which is fine. But we don't always have to have the same thoughts, I would like to have a part in mine as many others do.

@CatsAreShady @KonaCoffeeBean @PrimRoseMama @BlueWaffleSpeshul I don't have the patience for this tonight. 

Then don't comment. If you don't agree with what she chooses to do don't involve yourself in the post. It's her life and regardless of weather you think it's distasteful or not she wants a part in it. You have NO IDEA the circumstances in which she lives.

NoSugarCoating

SantistevanMommie said:

NoSugarCoating said:

chelsea+summer said:

You have your own thoughts which is fine. But we don't always have to have the same thoughts, I would like to have a part in mine as many others do.

@CatsAreShady @KonaCoffeeBean @PrimRoseMama @BlueWaffleSpeshul I don't have the patience for this tonight. 

Then don't comment. If you don't agree with what she chooses to do don't involve yourself in the post. It's her life and regardless of weather you think it's distasteful or not she wants a part in it. You have NO IDEA the circumstances in which she lives.

Circumstances do not matter. There is no situation that makes it okay to dictate how a shower is given for you. IT IS A GIFT TO YOU. This is not a "thought" nor an opinion. 

PrimRoseMama

SantistevanMommie said:

NoSugarCoating said:

chelsea+summer said:

You have your own thoughts which is fine. But we don't always have to have the same thoughts, I would like to have a part in mine as many others do.

@CatsAreShady @KonaCoffeeBean @PrimRoseMama @BlueWaffleSpeshul I don't have the patience for this tonight. 

Then don't comment. If you don't agree with what she chooses to do don't involve yourself in the post. It's her life and regardless of weather you think it's distasteful or not she wants a part in it. You have NO IDEA the circumstances in which she lives.

Internets 101 : public forum means that anyone can comment on anything as long as it doesn't violate the terms of service.

There is no circumstance that I can reasonably think of that would make it ok for someone to be involved in planning a gift-giving situation for themselves.

It's not up to you to police the post & tell us how we should feel. We are free to express ourselves & our opinions on the topic.

Just because you disagree does not mean the opposing viewpoint should be censored.

The bottom line is that it comes across as selfish & gift-grabby to plan your own shower. You are not allowing the hostess to gift you the honor of the party they can afford & that they want to give you as a gift. It deprives the hostess of creative planning for you to honor you.

That's the whole point is to surprise you with a gift. It's not a right of passage that you get to micro-manage because you want a Pretty Pretty Baby Princess Day. It's not on par with a wedding.

I'm always aghast & embarrassed for Mothers-To-Be that can't just sit back & allow someone else to do something thoughtful/nice for them.

It's simple: let the hostess know the dates you are available, who you'd like to invite & if there is any dietary allergies/awareness that needs to be made plain. Other then that? Show up, look pretty & let folks throw you a party.

Are we really THAT entitled that things must go EXACTLY as the MTB wants them to because "it's their baby"? I strongly disagree & hope that anyone who thinks that planning their own shower is a good idea to rethink it.

I'm allowed to disagree & point out that I think this is tasteless.

SantistevanMommie

I'm truly glad my family and friends and people I associate myself with aren't this judge mental of a woman hosting/giving ideas on their own baby shower

Kayciejoe56

I think it's perfectly fine to share some thoughts and opinions on what you would like... if you're asked! I just threw my SILs bridal shower and several times throughout planning I would ask her specific questions about things I was deciding, like: do you want a lot of games or more free flowing day? Or should we go for a formal look or backyard bbq feel? She happily answered any questions so that I could throw her a shower that I was proud of and SHE WOULD LOVE!

Now she is throwing my shower, and has asked me similar questions. I happily threw out a few opinions, because I now know, how helpful it is to have some direction. I don't think I am in any way dictating how a party be thrown for me, or "throwing my own party" I will answer any questions I'm asked... and then I will just show up and enjoy!

missemmawoodhouse

Kayciejoe56 said:

I think it's perfectly fine to share some thoughts and opinions on what you would like... if you're asked! I just threw my SILs bridal shower and several times throughout planning I would ask her specific questions about things I was deciding, like: do you want a lot of games or more free flowing day? Or should we go for a formal look or backyard bbq feel? She happily answered any questions so that I could throw her a shower that I was proud of and SHE WOULD LOVE!

Now she is throwing my shower, and has asked me similar questions. I happily threw out a few opinions, because I now know, how helpful it is to have some direction. I don't think I am in any way dictating how a party be thrown for me, or "throwing my own party" I will answer any questions I'm asked... and then I will just show up and enjoy!

There's a big difference between being asked for input and insisting on being involved. The latter is no different than the parents who throw a child's birthday party with the caveat that any gifts not on a preapproved list will be returned.

CatsAreShady

Sigh. Here's the thing: When you start trying to dictating things, you are basically taking it upon yourself to set the host's budget. A shower is something that's being gifted to you. A gift is something that is willingly and voluntarily given to someone. A gift is not an entitlement. Your host may have a certain amount of money set for the event and by making demands on them, you may be setting them up to spend more than they had planned.

If you plan on doing things yourself, that's equally bad as well. To set up an event for yourself where the sole purpose is for people to give you presents is considered tacky and gift grabby. Being asked for input is one thing (keywords: being ASKED), planning your own shower? Not cool.

BlueWaffleSpeshul

It's all already been said. If you're going to host your own shower, you're better off taking that money and using it to buy the things you need for your baby. 

I've finally gotten to the point where I just say if you want to throw your own shower, go for it, but know that the people in your life, or at least some of them, WILL think you're tacky and have something to say about it, not necessarily to your face.

SantistevanMommie

I don't EXPECT one person to buy me anything. This is MY baby and I will fully support her on my own. HOWEVER i know my family wants to give me things. I was going to host my own shower so my family and finances family can meet fully and get to know each other. GIFTS ARE OPTIONAL. I don't expect anything out of anything. I'm a grown ass woman. AND I don't want my mother and step mom to be spending a fuck ton on my shower therefore I give ideas to make the expense less.

BlueWaffleSpeshul

So let your family buy you gifts, like they will anyway, and don't have a shower. Easy peasy. Or have a get together and don't call it a shower.

Miz_Liz

A quick google search on , "Baby shower etiquette" will give you tons of results. Here is just one of the many: https://www.parents.com/baby/shower/planning/a-quick-etiquette-guide-to-baby-celebrations/

missemmawoodhouse

SantistevanMommie said:

I don't EXPECT one person to buy me anything. This is MY baby and I will fully support her on my own. HOWEVER i know my family wants to give me things. I was going to host my own shower so my family and finances family can meet fully and get to know each other. GIFTS ARE OPTIONAL. I don't expect anything out of anything. I'm a grown ass woman. AND I don't want my mother and step mom to be spending a fuck ton on my shower therefore I give ideas to make the expense less.

If the point is to just get your families together then why don't you throw a party and leave the words baby shower completely out of it? Then no one would feel obligated to bring a gift.

soberrysweet

SantistevanMommie said:

I don't EXPECT one person to buy me anything. This is MY baby and I will fully support her on my own. HOWEVER i know my family wants to give me things. I was going to host my own shower so my family and finances family can meet fully and get to know each other. GIFTS ARE OPTIONAL. I don't expect anything out of anything. I'm a grown ass woman. AND I don't want my mother and step mom to be spending a fuck ton on my shower therefore I give ideas to make the expense less.

As a "grown ass woman" you should be aware of what is proper etiquette and how rude it is to throw a party in your own honor where people are expected to bring you gifts.

Also, I'm sure you mother and mil are perfectly capable of managing their budgets.

SantistevanMommie

I'm not hosting the shower my mother and STEP MOM is hosting. However my family isn't super judgey and enjoy my input. I obviously grew up different because until this app I never knew it was distasteful to do it because my family all helped each other with the showers. I still don't find it distasteful. But everyone is entitled to their opinion. >-

CatsAreShady

No is stopping anyone from buying you gifts. No one is stopping you from celebrating your baby. But it doesn't matter what you say about not wanting gifts, THAT IS WHAT A BABY SHOWER IS FOR. The shower IS the gift. The sole purpose of a shower is to "shower" the mother to be with gifts, NOT for the mother to be to demand people come and shower her with gifts. Throwing your own shower is basically saying "I demand that you buy me gifts for my baby."

The whole "I want the families to meet and get to know each other" is a flimsy excuse. That is totally possible without throwing yourself a event to receive gifts. BBQs, home party, dinner out, etc, you can host an event without it being a shower.

SantistevanMommie

Doesn't anyone read!? IM NOT DOING MY BABY SHOWER! Whatever honestly think whatever you people want of me. I'm not a selfish person like you guys want to say. My family and friends know me and that's all that matters because none of you people will be there. =;

CatsAreShady

Yeah but we're still responding based on the OP's post. We're not talking about you, we're talking about the topic. You jumped in and decided to be a WK for the OP. Get it now?

PrimRoseMama

SantistevanMommie said:

I'm truly glad my family and friends and people I associate myself with aren't this judge mental of a woman hosting/giving ideas on their own baby shower

Oh honey. They are. They just don't say it to your face. Bless your heart.

PrimRoseMama

SantistevanMommie said:

Doesn't anyone read!? IM NOT DOING MY BABY SHOWER! Whatever honestly think whatever you people want of me. I'm not a selfish person like you guys want to say. My family and friends know me and that's all that matters because none of you people will be there. =;

How old are you?

You are taking general opinions on this topic entirely too personally. Deep breaths. It's not that serious.

I'm judging this tantrum you insist on having in this thread. Mature adults don't spazz out because of differing opinions.

PrimRoseMama

SantistevanMommie said:

I don't EXPECT one person to buy me anything. This is MY baby and I will fully support her on my own. HOWEVER i know my family wants to give me things. I was going to host my own shower so my family and finances family can meet fully and get to know each other. GIFTS ARE OPTIONAL. I don't expect anything out of anything. I'm a grown ass woman. AND I don't want my mother and step mom to be spending a fuck ton on my shower therefore I give ideas to make the expense less.

Again, you seem to miss the basic fact that it's a gift & not your business how your mom (or MIL) spend their money. If they want to do a posh Baby Shower & spend a fuck-ton? That is their business & prerogative because they are hosting the event.

Your job & I will go slow-- is to show up, eat food, gush over the generous gifts & enjoy the party.

That's it. That's all.

The decorations, food etc are not really up to you. Surely your family knows you well enough to throw you a party you can enjoy. LET THEM & STFU ABOUT THE DETAILS.

SantistevanMommie

PrimRoseMama said:

SantistevanMommie said:

I'm truly glad my family and friends and people I associate myself with aren't this judge mental of a woman hosting/giving ideas on their own baby shower

Oh honey. They are. They just don't say it to your face. Bless your heart.

And just who the hell are you to talk about my family?! That's quite rude actually. My family isn't assholes like most people in the world.

missemmawoodhouse

Sparky65 said:

@chelsea+summer You will have to remember that around these parts you don't want to do anything to upset particular posters because they will try to gang up on you.  It's best to ignore most of them as they're some of the biggest bitches you'll find.  Most of them think they're doctors, expert party planners, or even counselors.  In reality most of them are stay at home mom's with nothing better to do than roam the forums at TheBump and try to push people around to feel better about their lonely pathetic lives. 

PrimRose is a perfect example of this.  Whatever she says...do the opposite and you should be just fine.

Are you serious with this nonsense?

@PrimRoseMama I think your advice is always on point.

csy2947

Ah yes. The echo chamber that is these few posters on the bump. Not only do they need to disagree with you (totally fine), but they also will beat the horse until it's dead five times over. There is no agree to disagree or room for other opinions. And if you happen to pop in to support the other side you're labeled a white knight or a histrionic loony. There's just no winning. I would check out your birth month board, those are much nicer generally.

NoSugarCoating

csy2947 said:

Ah yes. The echo chamber that is these few posters on the bump. Not only do they need to disagree with you (totally fine), but they also will beat the horse until it's dead five times over. There is no agree to disagree or room for other opinions. And if you happen to pop in to support the other side you're labeled a white knight or a histrionic loony. There's just no winning. I would check out your birth month board, those are much nicer generally.

How do you have "other opinions" when it comes to facts? Do you argue when someone tells you that water is wet? 

csy2947

I am not sure its a fact that every person comes from a family/friend circle that would be appalled at someone helping to plan their own shower. I have had numerous people ask me if I'm having a shower...people have assumed I'm involved with a shower I don't even want to have.

I respect your opinion that this is apparently at fact level to you though.

HaruhiChan

Oi....

One thing to disagree with someone else's opinion, but to openly insult and name call? That's not right.

We're adults, so we should be able to debate without resorting to calling each other b*tches and such. Debate is healthy.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, on both sides. It's about how they express the opinion. Things can be disagreed on politely! If you have to name call, you are no longer politely disagreeing lol

OP, I personally believe to each their own. You will find there is a lot of etiquette against being involved in a shower and many people will defend etiquette fiercely because it's about making sure your guests are comfortable. That being said, there are many different paths people take in life and not everyone is going to agree with each path. What you do is what you do, realize there will always be people on both sides who will disagree. It's about what you can live with.

CatsAreShady

It's really hysterical how the WKs think others are mean bitches when they are always the ones who have the most vile things to say. They want to call people out while calling them all sorts of names. The irony is ridiculous.

You can always tell when someone loses an argument when they resort to name calling. It's a sign of lower intelligence.

CatsAreShady

csy2947 said:

Ah yes. The echo chamber that is these few posters on the bump. Not only do they need to disagree with you (totally fine), but they also will beat the horse until it's dead five times over. There is no agree to disagree or room for other opinions. And if you happen to pop in to support the other side you're labeled a white knight or a histrionic loony. There's just no winning. I would check out your birth month board, those are much nicer generally.

I guess some of us are stronger debaters than others. No need to cry about it, sweetie.

csy2947

CatsAreShady said:

csy2947 said:

Ah yes. The echo chamber that is these few posters on the bump. Not only do they need to disagree with you (totally fine), but they also will beat the horse until it's dead five times over. There is no agree to disagree or room for other opinions. And if you happen to pop in to support the other side you're labeled a white knight or a histrionic loony. There's just no winning. I would check out your birth month board, those are much nicer generally.

I guess some of us are stronger debaters than others. No need to cry about it, sweetie.

Lol. It's funny how you get heated about someone resorting to name calling in the previous post and then immediately respond to me with such a 'mean girls' post. What's next? The gifs?

NoSugarCoating

csy2947 said:

I am not sure its a fact that every person comes from a family/friend circle that would be appalled at someone helping to plan their own shower. I have had numerous people ask me if I'm having a shower...people have assumed I'm involved with a shower I don't even want to have.

How do you get from the first bolded to the second? That's quite the leap. People asking you if you're having a shower does not equal people assuming that YOU are planning your shower. They are asking if anyone has offered to host one for you. 

CatsAreShady

csy2947 said:

CatsAreShady said:

csy2947 said:

Ah yes. The echo chamber that is these few posters on the bump. Not only do they need to disagree with you (totally fine), but they also will beat the horse until it's dead five times over. There is no agree to disagree or room for other opinions. And if you happen to pop in to support the other side you're labeled a white knight or a histrionic loony. There's just no winning. I would check out your birth month board, those are much nicer generally.

I guess some of us are stronger debaters than others. No need to cry about it, sweetie.

Lol. It's funny how you get heated about someone resorting to name calling in the previous post and then immediately respond to me with such a 'mean girls' post. What's next? The gifs?

I find your definition of "heated" funny. Pointing out the irony in a situation is hardly "heated" but thanks for playing anyway. Mean girls, lonely housewives, lmao! Keep 'em coming, people.

And don't worry, my gifs will come out to play soon enough. They are the best responses to butthurt.

CatsAreShady

This topic always makes me think of a frog in a pot of water. If you put a frog in boiling water, it senses the heat immediately and jumps out. If you put the frog in cool water and gradually increase the heat, it probably won't notice that it's being boiled until it's already cooked.

When you grow up doing tacky things, it isn't noticeable because that's how you've always done them, like the frog in the cool water. When you are suddenly exposed to tacky after not being exposed previously, it's a huge shock, like the frog in hot water. Random observation.

csy2947

NoSugarCoating said:

csy2947 said:

I am not sure its a fact that every person comes from a family/friend circle that would be appalled at someone helping to plan their own shower. I have had numerous people ask me if I'm having a shower...people have assumed I'm involved with a shower I don't even want to have.

How do you get from the first bolded to the second? That's quite the leap. People asking you if you're having a shower does not equal people assuming that YOU are planning your shower. They are asking if anyone has offered to host one for you. 

I'm going to take another leap and say I'm pretty sure its a fact that I know my family and friends' better than you do. Yes, they are asking generally if they can host or if someone is hosting. But all these conversations assume I am pretty heavily involved in whatever it is. Everyone seems to be waiting for me decide who gets to host the shower. And that I'll provide the invitation list. This is a 'gift' that actualy seems pretty labor intensive for me! And when someone does begin planning, I will ask them to do certain things, such as make sure my mom is involved in the planning because if I don't do that I'll hear about it for the next 20 years. That might be rude if you just look at the black and white, but my friends know my mom, so they'll understand why I'm asking/telling. Much like in pp's case, her family will know she's trying to mitigate costs because none of these decisions/events are held in a vacuum without context. The people KNOW you so when you do something differently, it can make sense to them.

kacrites2014

I am helping my hosts because they need the help because they all have lives. Yes it is a gift to me but I like to be involved. It is my baby after all. It saddens me how everyone is coming down on the OP because she wants involvement and ideas. Me personally. We are doing a gender reveal at our shower and keeping everything green. I love being in on the planning and excitement. Just because I am a mom doesn't mean I need to sit high on my thrown and let everyone else work at my feet like some elitist. It is your baby and you should be able to have some control. Get in there and help! No Shame! 

csy2947

CatsAreShady said:

csy2947 said:

CatsAreShady said:

csy2947 said:

Ah yes. The echo chamber that is these few posters on the bump. Not only do they need to disagree with you (totally fine), but they also will beat the horse until it's dead five times over. There is no agree to disagree or room for other opinions. And if you happen to pop in to support the other side you're labeled a white knight or a histrionic loony. There's just no winning. I would check out your birth month board, those are much nicer generally.

I guess some of us are stronger debaters than others. No need to cry about it, sweetie.

Lol. It's funny how you get heated about someone resorting to name calling in the previous post and then immediately respond to me with such a 'mean girls' post. What's next? The gifs?

I find your definition of "heated" funny. Pointing out the irony in a situation is hardly "heated" but thanks for playing anyway. Mean girls, lonely housewives, lmao! Keep 'em coming, people.

And don't worry, my gifs will come out to play soon enough. They are the best responses to butthurt.

Important clarification! I did not call you a mean girl, I said your comment was mean girl-esque! In your words I am keeping it 'klassy.' Perhaps your individual posts aren't heated, but the fact that you all descended at the call of nosugarcoating and keep responding feels like you might care a little bit.

CatsAreShady

csy2947 said:

NoSugarCoating said:

csy2947 said:

I am not sure its a fact that every person comes from a family/friend circle that would be appalled at someone helping to plan their own shower. I have had numerous people ask me if I'm having a shower...people have assumed I'm involved with a shower I don't even want to have.

How do you get from the first bolded to the second? That's quite the leap. People asking you if you're having a shower does not equal people assuming that YOU are planning your shower. They are asking if anyone has offered to host one for you. 

I'm going to take another leap and say I'm pretty sure its a fact that I know my family and friends' better than you do. Yes, they are asking generally if they can host or if someone is hosting. But all these conversations assume I am pretty heavily involved in whatever it is. Everyone seems to be waiting for me decide who gets to host the shower. And that I'll provide the invitation list. This is a 'gift' that actualy seems pretty labor intensive for me! And when someone does begin planning, I will ask them to do certain things, such as make sure my mom is involved in the planning because if I don't do that I'll hear about it for the next 20 years. That might be rude if you just look at the black and white, but my friends know my mom, so they'll understand why I'm asking/telling. Much like in pp's case, her family will know she's trying to mitigate costs because none of these decisions/events are held in a vacuum without context. The people KNOW you so when you do something differently, it can make sense to them.

Okay but you didn't ask the question. OP did. OP never came back to clarify anything. You want to ask the host to include your mom? Fine. That's different from hosting it yourself. Being asked for input is one thing, doing it yourself is another. You are assuming things on behalf of the OP that were never stated.

Even if the gift of a shower seems labor intensive to you, it still benefits you and your kid.

csy2947

CatsAreShady said:

csy2947 said:

NoSugarCoating said:

csy2947 said:

I am not sure its a fact that every person comes from a family/friend circle that would be appalled at someone helping to plan their own shower. I have had numerous people ask me if I'm having a shower...people have assumed I'm involved with a shower I don't even want to have.

How do you get from the first bolded to the second? That's quite the leap. People asking you if you're having a shower does not equal people assuming that YOU are planning your shower. They are asking if anyone has offered to host one for you. 

I'm going to take another leap and say I'm pretty sure its a fact that I know my family and friends' better than you do. Yes, they are asking generally if they can host or if someone is hosting. But all these conversations assume I am pretty heavily involved in whatever it is. Everyone seems to be waiting for me decide who gets to host the shower. And that I'll provide the invitation list. This is a 'gift' that actualy seems pretty labor intensive for me! And when someone does begin planning, I will ask them to do certain things, such as make sure my mom is involved in the planning because if I don't do that I'll hear about it for the next 20 years. That might be rude if you just look at the black and white, but my friends know my mom, so they'll understand why I'm asking/telling. Much like in pp's case, her family will know she's trying to mitigate costs because none of these decisions/events are held in a vacuum without context. The people KNOW you so when you do something differently, it can make sense to them.

Okay but you didn't ask the question. OP did. OP never came back to clarify anything. You want to ask the host to include your mom? Fine. That's different from hosting it yourself. Being asked for input is one thing, doing it yourself is another. You are assuming things on behalf of the OP that were never stated.

Even if the gift of a shower seems labor intensive to you, it still benefits you and your kid.

I was simply responding to nosugarcoating's question, which asked for specific clarification about something I said, no attempt to clarify what OP meant.