Son being pushed — The Bump
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Son being pushed

Hello All!

It has been a long time since I have logged in to the bump and my first time posting to this board but I am hoping that some of you will be able to provide a few suggestions. My son is 20 months old and is very laid back. Recently his 23 month old cousin has started playing very rough. I contribute part of it to the fact that the cousin's teenage uncle plays rough with him but I get extremely frustrated when my nephew continuously runs up behind my son and pushes him to the ground for no reason. Earlier this week he was pushed into the corner of a kitchen cabinet. That time my nephew's father actually jumped up to discipline him but it didn't last long. My MIL picked my son up from the babysitter a couple days ago and watched him for a few hours and when she brought him home she told me that he fell into a toy at the babysitter's house and his lip was a little puffy. I couldn't help but wonder if he really fell or if he had been pushed again because the babysitter watches my nephew occasionally too. Has anyone else experienced anything like this. I don't want to keep my son away from his cousin because they do enjoy playing together. However, I don't want to wait for my son to really get hurt before something is done about it.
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Re: Son being pushed

  • In my opinion the older toddler needs to be reminded EVERY time that pushing is not ok. It can be done in a nice gentle way but it needs to be reinforced since he seems to think it's ok. If I were around when it was happening I'd take it upon myself to nicely tell the 23 month old it's not nice to push and to be gentle. If the 23 month old is with your son in a situation where you can not watch him I'd let the care giver know your concern and express a desire that that kind of behavior be gently corrected. ANY decent care giver should already be doing this kind of gentle correcting of behavior and no parent should object since it's reasonable and does not involve physically punishing the child. Speak up about your concerns! They are legit!
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  • I'd try to watch the 23 month old playing with your son a little more often so that you get a chance to explain to the older kid that pushing is not okay. 
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  • Oh! And also, I recalled there is a nice book, Hands Are Not for Hitting by Martine Agassi . It can take kids from hitting to hugging
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