Post delivery recovery

Coco118

I firmly believe that misery loves company Anyone else out there struggling to deal with difficult recoveries after birth? I had a super fast delivery with baby's head and arm coming out together, leaving me pretty torn up. Episiotomy, 3rd degree tear, and tears to both sides as well %-( I am only 4 days out but the pain is SO unbearable that I cannot hardly walk (it took me forever to walk just the parking lot to the office for the peds yesterday), sitting is impossible, standing even sends searing pain. Don't get me started on bowel movements. I nearly passed out when I had my first, the room literally went black. As someone who is always very active (I mean, I did a 3 mile trail run at 41 weeks pregnant), I find myself becoming more depressed and emotional daily over my inability to even walk around bouncing my baby girl.
Tell me I'm not alone??!? Anyone else having/had a particularly bad recovery? Advice? How long until you felt "normal" again?

sarahglynn

Oh girl I am right there with you! Horrific delivery- induced, 30 hour labor, 3rd degree tears and torn rectal muscle, hemmoraging, infection and my baby had to go to the NICU. 8 days later I'm still miserable and have had a blood transfusion and been to the ER twice, once because they thought I'd need another transfusion, and then later the same day because I couldn't have a bowel movement on my own and the pain was worse than labor. So you're definitely not alone.

erikaluna01

I don't have a tough recovery (this time because it sucked last time) but I just wanted to say I'm sorry! Take each step at a time. Each day gets better and you'll feel good before you know it.

shrkfan

Oh man, I'm sorry!!!

sarahsnowball

I'm lurking from Nov15 (I searched 3rd degree tear as I'm currently debating whether to risk another vaginal birth).

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I had a similar experience in Aug13 and my physical pain had pretty much gone after about a month as far as I can remember.

I remember being so upset that I couldn't bounce my baby etc.
My advice is to talk to someone you trust and be honest about how you feel. It's devastating that your birth didn't go to plan and you can't enjoy doing 'normal' things with your LO, and it's ok to feel upset about that. I wish I had spoken to someone and got those negative thoughts off my chest.

It does get better. Honestly. You will bounce your baby and all that other stuff.

Good luck to you, and congratulations on the birth of your DD!

Coco118

@sarahglynn wow I am so sorry to hear how rough you have had it! I was also induced and I think that makes them come faster than our bodies can handle (despite a looong induction of 36 hours, once I did finally dilate I went from 2 to 10 in 2 hours). I hate to say that I'm glad I'm not alone because I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy, but it is good to know I'm not the only one.

@sarahec001 Thank you so much for sharing your experience! And to know you were doing better after a month. My husband wanted to take the baby for a walk in her stroller yesterday bc the weather was so nice and I had a total meltdown that she can't have her first walk without me. Even just thinking about it now makes me cry. I hate feeling so incapacitated! I don't know if you'll be checking back here but if so, I'm interested to hear what you decide for your next delivery. I am already thinking that I can't imagine doing this ever again. The way I see it, I have been cut just as deeply as a c-section only in a far more sensitive area, and I think I'd prefer the c-section cut over this one in the future. I've also been reading far too much about how re-tearing can lead to life long fecal incontinence! @-)

sarahsnowball

Hi again @Coco118 I hope things are improving for you. I remember what you have described so well, just feeling so sad about things not going the way I planned and feeling like I was missing out on some of the things I had really been looking forward to. It's so unfair that you can go through all the hard work involved in a vaginal birth and still have to suffer a long recovery.

I just thought I would let you know that I have decided to have a CS this time.

I've been back and forth over this and I would LOVE a natural birth if they could guarantee no 3rd degree tear this time, but life has no guarantees. It's been hard to give up on the idea of a straightforward natural birth but I feel like I just cannot risk a repeat 3rd degree tear and the possible long term consequences. There are lots of amazing stories of women who have had successful vaginal births after a 3rd degree tear, which is reassuring. But I still feel that there is a real risk that I am too scared to take.

A CS isn't an easy option, but I can research and prepare for this kind of delivery. And, as you mentioned, I've already had a long recovery with a big scar and I got through that.

And you are getting through that too! Please don't be hard on yourself, and try to take small steps throughout your recovery. I know it's frustrating having to wait to feel more capable, but it will honestly all be a blur in a few months and you will be doing all the things you ever dreamed of with DD.

Your body is doing some amazing repair work right now! I really hope you can start to feel better soon :-)

Edit: I can't type!

Coco118

@sarahec001 Thanks for the update! I know it's early for me to be thinking about but I have already been debating the c-section vs vaginal myself, and just 8 days into recovery is probably not the best time to debate it haha. I truly loved being pregnant so much, I breezed through pregnancy and was so happy and symptom free, even at 41+4! Now recovery almost makes me never want to have another child. I'm hoping this pain becomes a distant memory soon enough. Good luck to you!! I hope the C-section recovery is far easier (my mom actually had one natural and one C and has always said her c-section was a million times better!)

pistachio&blush

You are not alone. I'm miserable and having some company does help. I developed preeclampsia and had to be induced immediately (same day). I struggled to have a vaginal birth for a little over 48 hours. Although I intended on having a med free birth, I couldn't take the pain and discomfort anymore after the Foley catheter. The epidural only worked on the left side of my body and I was in so much pain that I mentally checked out. The induction failed and I had a cesarian. Due to the preeclampsia I had to be in bed on a magnesium IV for 24 hours after surgery. After that I couldn't even use my legs to get out of bed into a wheelchair. I was swollen from the waist down. Walking to the bathroom and using it was huge task that required assistance.

It's been 1 week plus 4 days ... The swelling is almost gone and I can get around the house okay and pick up my baby with the assistance of pain medication. I still have pain at the incision and for some reason my right hip hurts when I walk. My blood pressure is still high and my doctor almost readmitted me into the hospital on Monday due to the high blood pressure. Instead, I have to take more medication and check my blood pressure at home regularly. I am terrified of going back into the hospital because I am exclusively breastfeeding. I don't want to be away from my baby.

So here I am with what may be a permanent problem with blood pressure (never had any issues pre-pregnancy), I am still in pain. Plus, I can't drive, workout, take a bath in my tub etc. for six weeks. I am so miserable mentally and physically. I just want to be my normal self again.

kjones115

It gets better!! My baby is 3 weeks old now and I'm almost back to 100%. I had a scheduled csection so I didn't experience labor but faced my own challenges. The morphine made me sick so starting about an hour after she was born I was throwing up every 15 minutes for hours. I had her at 9:17am and was sick until around 5pm. It was terrible. Then the last day in the hospital I had this horrible stiff neck. It was so much worse than my incision which I never even really was bothered from since my neck hurt so bad. That lasted for about a week. It helped me to hear that I wasn't alone. It really does get better but it takes time. My husband had to keep reminding me I had major abdominal surgery. A few things that helped...take gas-x with every meal, I had this Yogi women's health tea that I brewed in hot ginger ale that tasted awesome, I took a Colace nightly, drink tons of water, continue to move and walk and lastly take the meds (I never took the narcotics but took the Motrin like clock work). The hardest for me was to ask for help. I could only do steps once a day so I relied heavily on my husband for even the easiest things. Just remember it gets easier every day and when you're feeling down snuggle that sweet baby. Good luck!!

Tiffanymitchellmeehan

Was in labor for 36hrs. Couldn't deliver needed a c-section. Entire body is exhausted. Didn't sleep through labor & couldn't sleep after surgery mess wore off. Id have to say so far sore & tired. Need a little r&r

nbmelendez

I was also induced, labored for 14 hrs and pushed for 2. LO's head was turned to the side and she was stuck. Ended up with an episiotomy and 3rd degree tear. I'm 1.5 weeks post partum and off my pain meds now. My OB is checking my stitches next week. I'm praying everything is healing correctly. I hat being limited in activity!

Coco118

My pain has not been improving at all, if anything it's been getting worse. So I finally went to the doctor today (9 days post delivery) and found that half of my tear has actually reopened and is infected. Fabulous. Now I've got antibiotics and have to pack the wound twice daily. I really hope to at least finally be on the road to recovery...

sarahsnowball

Oh no! No wonder you're still in so much pain. I really hope you are on the mend now.

mommy1922

I'm lurking from the July '15 board, and let me tell you ladies, this post has officially scared me! :-O LOL I know that childbirth is the natural end to this journey, but in all honesty, I'm glad to hear true stories about recovery. I'd rather know what to expect than to be blindsided, so thanks for sharing. Also, congrats to you ladies on your deliveries!

vbonitto

Sorry to see a fellow mom going through a bad recovery.Those tears are very painful and bowel movements can feel worse than early labor! 

Maybe your doctor can suggest some pain relief? Some Motrin? I used peri bottle with cool water every bathroom trip.  Also, I have used 3 tucks pads/witch hazel pads on top of my pad with some Dermoplast antiseptic spray and put fresh ones every time you go to the bathroom. You can find at drugstore. Just lie down and rest as much as you can so you can heal faster and get as much help as possible. Also, for bowel movements my doc recommended laxative to make it easier - Dulculax. 

I did all these things (I'm 11 days post partum and exclusively breastfeeding) which were recommended by hospital and my obgyn. 

vbonitto

@mommy1922 - Don't be scared! Every delivery is different. Unfortunately, sometimes you tear and are in pain and sometimes the recovery is easy. With my first, I tore and was in the same place as Coco118 is right now. Horrible. This time around, I didn't tear and my recovery has been easy with the exception of back pain and difficulty walking due to loose joints and weak abs. Don't worry and enjoy the last few months of your pregnancy!

Coco118

@vbonitto it makes me feel better to hear that you had a bad tear last time and didn't tear this time. My biggest fear is ever going through this again!

And tucks, dermoplast, peri bottle, and sitz baths are already my best friends:) oh and newborn diapers filled with ice haha. Unfortunately some of these are horribly painful in the area where the tear reopened (peri bottle and dermoplast both just burn there) so I have to be careful when using them to avoid that part.

mommy1922

vbonitto said:

@mommy1922 - Don't be scared! Every delivery is different. Unfortunately, sometimes you tear and are in pain and sometimes the recovery is easy. With my first, I tore and was in the same place as Coco118 is right now. Horrible. This time around, I didn't tear and my recovery has been easy with the exception of back pain and difficulty walking due to loose joints and weak abs. Don't worry and enjoy the last few months of your pregnancy!

Thank you so much for those encouraging words! I really needed to hear that. I'm just going to RELAX and wait. I've wanted this little one for so long! And I knew HOW she'd have to come out LOL Can't change my mind now! Not that I would! So I'm going to sit back and relax and enjoy these last few months of pregnancy. I'll be ready when the time comes. Thanks again!

astrat017

I also have some tearing, mind you not as bad as some of you but recovery is coming and I'm soooo happy not to be pregnant anymore

BabyIxolib

I had a planned c-section with a pretty rough recovery, was doing good and then in the 2nd day took a fall and ended up doubled over in pain and experienced severe swelling that made breast feeding difficult. We are 2 weeks out and I still have soreness and random heavy bleeds:( my doctor is very dismissive about all my issues and I've pretty much given up on calling her with any questions (my incision actually split and bled on one end which she barely glanced at and said "oh that's normal".
My complaint now, all I want is a bath, I am over the showers, I was to soak in the bath tub and watch some friends or house of cards! When will I feel normal again???

cam12345

mommy1922 said:

I'm lurking from the July '15 board, and let me tell you ladies, this post has officially scared me! :-O LOL I know that childbirth is the natural end to this journey, but in all honesty, I'm glad to hear true stories about recovery. I'd rather know what to expect than to be blindsided, so thanks for sharing. Also, congrats to you ladies on your deliveries!

Don't let yourself read this sort of stuff! There are many many successful birth stories and you just need to stay positive and relaxed! The more calm and relaxed you can be the more likely you are to have a positive birth!

sarahsnowball

cam12345 said:

mommy1922 said:

I'm lurking from the July '15 board, and let me tell you ladies, this post has officially scared me! :-O LOL I know that childbirth is the natural end to this journey, but in all honesty, I'm glad to hear true stories about recovery. I'd rather know what to expect than to be blindsided, so thanks for sharing. Also, congrats to you ladies on your deliveries!

Don't let yourself read this sort of stuff! There are many many successful birth stories and you just need to stay positive and relaxed! The more calm and relaxed you can be the more likely you are to have a positive birth!

As PP mentioned, she would rather know about some of the more negative birth stories so that she has a more rounded view of what to expect. Shielding yourself from these stories will not result in a positive birth. Reading these stories will not result in a negative birth.
I agree with you that remaining positive and mentally strong are great and will enable you to face childbirth in the best frame of mind, but ignoring posts where people discuss difficult births is not great advice in my opinion.

mommy1922

@cam12345 thanks for the advice! And trust me, I've been reading the more positive birth stories as well. It does help, but I'm still scared! Lol I'm always afraid of the unknown, but hey, I can't back out now! But I do try to read more uplifting post because when I see "episiotomy" and "3rd degree tears" I want to run and hide! Lol

mommy1922

@sarahec001 thanks for your advice as well! I'm a natural researcher, so I do like to see and know exactly what I'm getting into. But no lie, I had to leave this post, gather my nerves, and try to read it again at a later time because it started to scared the crap out of me! Lol but my philosophy is at least I'll know what COULD happen! Thanks again!

sarahsnowball

mommy1922 said:

@sarahec001 thanks for your advice as well! I'm a natural researcher, so I do like to see and know exactly what I'm getting into. But no lie, I had to leave this post, gather my nerves, and try to read it again at a later time because it started to scared the crap out of me! Lol but my philosophy is at least I'll know what COULD happen! Thanks again!

No problem. I think you're doing the right thing by being well informed - if you do need any emergency interventions they don't exactly have a lot of time to explain things there and then.
I wish you all the best for a safe delivery and a quick recovery. Good luck!

mommy1922

@sarahec001 yeah, and in the heat of the moment, I wouldn't care what they had to do. Just deliver my baby safely! Thanks so much! And if you've haven't had your little bundle, I wish you the best. If you have delivered, congratulations!