Need Advice...B/C of unsupportive people!!!

Jelly Bean 001

I have created a birth plan with DH and Dr. My DH loves that I want to try to have a natural birth, but knows that i'm not good with pain. Every woman however that we know is calling me crazy for not wanting the medications. I hope that I can follow my BP, but with others putting it down, i'm starting to doubt myself. Any advice?

mrs1374a

Since this is my second, there is one thing I know about birth plans, you can plan all you want, but you are not in charge. Things may happen that you don't plan on happening, for example after 16 hours of non medicated labor I ended up with an emergency c section and my hospital doesn't do vbacs so I have to have a second c section. The only advice I can give you, is go in with a completely open mind, because you never know.

lovelleisgolden

you can do anything you set your mind too. But you don't have anything to prove to anyone. If you want an all natural birth than just be prepared to mentally prepare yourself but if you find out while your in labor that you yourself feel like you need medication do not feel bad about that.  This is your body and your baby everyone is different. My mother had 6 children all natural. I plan on going natural but told my doctor I would like to have the medication available but my "plan" was to try for natural. I just want to let you know that you can do whatever you want to do! one of those cheesy believe in yourself moments with a combination of this isn't the Olympics so don't feel bad or put yourself down if you just don't think you can handle the pain safely. ) Don't let people put you down.

fallenpegasus

FTM 36 weeks and 2 days, dealing with the same issue you are. The thing to remember is that it is fine to have a birth plan as long as you are open to changing it if need be. My birth plan is very short now...it didn't start out that way. I also plan to use no meds, but also know I may need to if things get too intense for me. All I hear from other women is that I'm crazy as well. Surprisingly it is a lot of family members. My advice is to brush it off. It is your labor. Your plan. And you can do anything you set your mind to. If you have to change your birth plan it isn't the worst thing ever. Plus I suppose you don't have to tell anyone about changing it if you don't want to lol...

trytry38ever

If you would like to have a natural birth do so. Do not get discouraged but as others have said keep an open mind do not force yourself to do to much to prove anything. If last minute you want to change your mind or if complications happen and you cannot have a natural birth remember that you should do what is best for you and your baby. I know several people who have had natural birth rather chosen or not and also have medication on another pregnancy and basically they say giving birth sucks no matter medicated or not. Some people have preferred one over the other and others say it isn't really much of a difference because you do not get rid of all of the pain it just makes it a little more manageable. As with any choice you have with your pregnancy it is your choice you are the one who is to make the choices not anyone else. Do not let people change your mind if you would like to try natural go for it girl If not then that's good too. Just make sure it is your decision not anyone elses.

KateLouise

I've had two unmedicated births and can honestly say I love giving birth. Yes it's painful and hard work, but to me it's the kind of hardwork that comes from your body working really hard like running a marathon or climbing everest, the difference being you don't have the option to sit it out.

I think what gets most people is the exhaustion and the unknown quantity over the actual pain. In other words, if you knew you had 10 of the worst contractions to get through then you'd be able to do that no problem, because you'd just work through each one. But after hours of working hard and having no idea when the end is in sight, you can run out of energy and reserves to keep managing.

I was fortunate in that both of my labours were relatively short (7 hrs and 3 hrs of active labour after a gradual build up) so I never hit that, "I just can't do this" wall. I don't think that says anything about me being able to cope better than anyone else, simply that my labours were short and easy to manage.

I would recommend reading some positive birth stories, looking into some different coping strategies, and prepping yourself for the long haul during early labour eg napping and snacking on nourishing energy rich foods, and then like the other ladies have said know that go in with an idea of what you would prefer but know that anything can happen and change during labour, and that ultimately all births are wonderful!.

Best wishes to you in your upcoming birth!

PrimRoseMama

Jelly Bean 001 said:

I have created a birth plan with DH and Dr. My DH loves that I want to try to have a natural birth, but knows that i'm not good with pain. Every woman however that we know is calling me crazy for not wanting the medications. I hope that I can follow my BP, but with others putting it down, i'm starting to doubt myself. Any advice?

Yes do what you want, but be flexible. Birth plans change.

YogaSandy

Don't tell anyone your birth plan. Then they can't make comments on it. It's no one's business if you need or don't need or want or don't want meds. Anyone you've told who makes unsupportive comments, either bean dip them and change the subject or tell them the matter is not up for discussion.

As PPs have said, just make sure you're flexible and if it turns out that you decide you want to be medicated, that's OK. It doesn't mean you failed our wussed out or anything like that (same with any other emergency interventions).

My birth plan was short and sweet. Give me pain meds and get the baby out of me. I did share it though. I am a high school teacher and my colleague / friend asked me to come to her parenting class just before I was due to talk to her students.

ldmw

First of all, ignore the comments from other women that are doubting you abilities. If you have pain management techniques and are prepared for med-free birth you will be more equipped to handle it.
Second of all, it's very important to have a flexible plan and open mind. I have a rough birth plan. I desire to go natural, but I am completely open and prepared to do whatever is necessary to deliver baby safely. I don't know what pain to expect, so my open plan is to try without medication but open to it if I need it.

HaruhiChan

Explore back up plans in case you find you can't handle the pain. But if you want natural, try it and go for it! But don't feel bad if you find you can't do it. It doesn't mean you failed anyone. It just means you know what you are capable of and should still feel proud.

The plan is an ideal, but it's good to accept the fact that it could change. You can do what you want, don't let others discourage you.

pixieprincss

It's totally doable to have a birth without medication. People have been doing it for most of history. That said, since this is no longer cultural knowledge for us (wherein an experienced mom might be with you in your labor, confident in your abilities, and offering little tips and you'd grown up hearing empowering birth stories), entering labor prepared is a great strategy. Books, classes, videos, birth stories, etc. are all out there for you to explore. The Bradley Method and relaxing through contractions is my strategy, and I've been working on my relaxation breath for a long time (unfair advantage since this is birth three for me  ). 

nnewman4

Stick with your gut. My father has been pestering me about wanting to go natural with all these "what ifs" (my mom had some difficulty with me). I basically said, if something happens, I will reconsider my strategy, but for now, I have my plan.

Much to his chagrin, my sister-in-law has also decided to do natural after talking with me. Oops.

But I've known a few people who went in wanting an epidural and ended up unable to get one. I figure if they can do it accidentally, there's no reason anyone planning to go natural can't.

Brooker25

Like others have said, have a plan but be flexible. I'm due at the end of June and I hope to Go un-medicated for as long as possible. However, I know that as a woman who has never given birth before, I don't know how im going to handle it until I am experiencing it first hand. So I'm keeping an open mind. And you never know , you may end up needing a c-section and if you do, the whole birth plan goes out the window.
So keep an open mind. There's nothing wrong with having an idea of what your ideal experience would be , but stuff happens that is out of our control.