June 2015 Moms

cats

2

Re: cats

  • allstagg said:

    @westypet @kbooth412 - yes, i came to the community to seek out advice and opinions from mothers who may have a similar experience to me. i am not in anyway shooting down anyones advice, i have tried it all (and more, much more in fact) and never heard of anyones pregnancy being threatened by severe allergies until i became pregnant so i am sorry if you think i am dragging on the heart strings of other and i am in fact doing the best that i can and the purpose of this community is to seek support.


    I hope you and your husband come to a decision quickly so you don't have to suffer much longer. If you are suffering this badly, and feel your pregnancy is threatened by your home situation, I would call your doctor immediately and stress the severity. Your doctor works for you.
  • Loading the player...
  • allstaggallstagg member
    edited April 2015
    @delujm0 - oh my gosh, you read my mind about the chocolate! but he already knew that and gives me dirty looks when i splurge a little. lucky for him, i am not craving many sweets during the pregnancy or else he would have hell to pay for. so YES, you are right, i can tolerate the cats to a degree if i am on my meds, immunotherapy, inhaler and nasal sprays and eyedrops. the issue is that the immunotherapy is completely contraindicated during pregnancy and not safe enough or tested so the allergist told me to come back when baby is off my breast. they dont even want me breastfeeding if i am on immunotherapy because it is a regimen that includes injections and sublingual drops. all of it is designed to build immunity to certain allergens in my blood, all of it could harm baby in utero and because they dont know about how it will affect the breastmilk, they dont want to risk it. i agree with their approach to take me off because i dont want to do anything that could potentially harm our little human. with regards to the meds, i have to take certain steroids for my allergies because OTC drugs dont work. i have pretty severe allergies to the cats and ironically alcohol so we cant use cleaners that are alcohol based and all of mouthwashes are alcohol free, cant cook with alcohol, etc. my other allergies are to ragweed and certain tree pollen but that is completely seasonal and they came up as low in my blood work. my whole family has really really bad allergies. in fact, husband did the skin test for cat dander and it came back positive. we dont know about just how allergic he is because he didnt do the blood test. his symptoms are just itchy eyes and sore throat so very tolerable. i know they say that kids raised with pets have fewer allergies but i cant help but to consider my genetic make up could possibly influence it. our first plan is to temporarily rehome for 1-2 with a close friend or family but we know the risk with that is that it will be difficult to ask someone to give back a pet they have become attached to. and then there is also the issue of what happen if we get pregnant again? i guess i sellfishly want to find them a temporary long term home and expect to have them back when i am ready to and then if we plan to have a second child, we will do it again but that isnt fair to the cats or our host family (if we ever find one). i could understand why husband would be resentful towards me even though he wont admit it and says hes not. he had the cats for 9 years, i have only had him and the cats for 6, but before we even started dating i let him know about my allergies and why i couldnt come to his apartment to watch movies. and when we decided to date we talked about the cats and we both agreed to drug me up and see how it goes, except we never talked about what would happen if the drugs dont work. besides, these drugs were expensive! i had to cancel my gym membership and cable to afford the drugs and treatment. every appointment cost me $440 after copay and i would go in monthly and then every week i had to go for my injections which would cost another $40. the drugs would cost $580 alone! (insurance didnt cover it). i mean, the treatment was expensive as hell. to this day, my husband has no idea how much i spent on treatments but he did always question why i didnt have a substantial savings!! at one point i was laid off from work with no insurance and no income and i was borrowing money from my parents to continue my treatments. at many points i wanted to talk to my husband and show him my bills and say i cant afford it anymore, what do we do? i know the cats are important to him but i also like to think that my health is also important too.
  • Yes, you have to do labwork both before starting the meds, and after to make sure it is not affecting their organ function. But its fairly well tolerated in most patients and in all my experience over 10 years in that field can only remember 1 case where it was discontinued due to medical reasons, and a some more where the medication dose or type (prozac vs xanax vs something else like that) had to be adjusted to find the right level of balance between behavior modification and them being totally spaced out. And yes, if their behavior is as bad as all that then they will be difficult to re-home, so it is to their benefit for you to solve these issues as much as possible before considering a new home for them. Otherwise they move in with their new family and then be brought to a shelter and euthanized later because of their behaviour

    PP mentioned above that you could try to segregate them in the house, I've mentioned that, too.

    And lastly, by now you know I'm someone who will tell it like I think it - your man needs to take a step a back and you need to take a step forward for yourself. There's no way I would let my man be that controlling over me. I'd shut that sh*t down so fast he'd be blinking wondering who turned off the damned lights. PP is right in that there is a major trust or control issue going on if he felt he couldn't trust you not to take your meds and so he threw them away. It sounds very controlling. I'm not going to speak further on that, either, but I wouldn't let that fly
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I work for an animal organization, and find cats are, surprisingly, a hotter topic than any Republican/Democrat political nonsense. A thread labeled Cats will bring out supporters in full force, as the comments show here.

    I grew up on a farm, where animals were animals and people were people. While you take responsibility for your animals, they are not people - and people should not be made to suffer so much when the animals can be rehomed (also, it doesn't sound like the cats are particularly happy either). If you need to be done with dealing with allergies after 6 years, and you deal with a transition for the cats in a caring and responsible manner, so be it.

    That is my opinion that will be unpopular on this thread. But I don't think it's an extreme viewpoint, and I don't think OP should feel like the viewpoints here are the only ones out there. I think it's awesome that people advocate so strongly for animals, and as always, appreciate reading viewpoints different than my own on here.

    Good luck, OP.
  • @mellymar - i will be sure to propose the idea to the vet and make sure we do the proper bloodwork. i just get a little worried because they are older and i am always worried about kidney failure. my husband lost a couple of cats in his childhood to kidney failure and his sister just lost one after many years of daily dialysis. about isolating them to a different section of the home. so the layout of our house is designed to feel like an antique colonial so we have rooms that also act as hallways, if that makes sense? to access the basement to get to their litter boxes, the cats need to pass through my office so i can close them to my office and move their food in there but the office is only 13x10. husband tried that the other night and the boys wouldnt stop crying, it almost felt cruel. i wonder if a space that size is too small for 2 cats? theyre both pretty big. 17lbs each. and yes, i agree my husband has a controlling issue. i was pretty upset when he threw out my meds because i knew how much money i spent on it all. we fight about him being too controlling pretty often and he is in denial about his controlling ways and thinks i am being stupid when i say he makes me feel guilty when i do things he doesnt agree with. the way he controls me is very subtle and almost in a way manipulative so if he wants me to do X, he will find a way to get me to think it was my idea to do X and then fully support me in its execution. if he doesnt want me to do Y, he will say things to make me question why i want to do Y or make me feel badly about it and then sloooowly convince me that Y isn't a good idea even though Y (like drinking a little iced tea) is harmless and would make me happy. one time, i ordered decaf coffee at breakfast and he questioned the server twice if she was certain it was decaf and then he took a sip to make sure (decaf is flatter), i was so embarrassed. he's always had his controlling ways every once in awhile and it was never a problem. sometimes i would just let him have his way because it would be over something so stupid and pointless but with the pregnancy he is EXTREMELY controlling and untrusting. i get more texts of, "what did you eat and what time," then, "how are you feeling?". ive already threatened that if he keeps it up, the baby will have my maiden name on the birth certificate!
  • @amark11 - thank you for sharing your viewpoint and i respect it entirely. in fact, when i was reading your post i could only hear my fathers voice. he thinks i am an idiot for pushing on for so long and has told me that he would never forgive me if i did anything to harm his first grandchild. obviously, i would never let anything bad happen to anyone. my comment RE my husbands controlling tendencies aren't related to the cats. some PP felt that my husband was controlling and has trust issues because he threw away my meds that the doctor labeled as not safe because he was afraid i would take them and he wont let me have any caffeine and i was just agreeing with them that he is nuts about that stuff. he is really wound tight these days ...
  • @konacoffeebean - and how is it getting weirder might i ask? seriously. oh and i dont know why the discussion posted to the june board and i dont know how to change it. i noticed this after i posted but couldnt figure out how to correct it to september 2015 moms.
  • ElRubyElRuby member
    edited April 2015
    I am amazed at the level of passion of this topic and the length of the individual posts... Forget vaccine debates... Cats really get people worked up!!

    But to contribute to this conversation... I LOVE cats and am truly destined to be a crazy cat lady... If I had lots of money I would open up a cats only sanctuary for unwanted and homeless cats... And I usually roll my eyes at the expression "cat allergies"....With that being said OP it sound like it it really is time to rehome those pets.... I don't want to vacuum once a week never mind every ten minutes and you certainly should not be suffering to that extreme... I am impressed you lasted as long as you did... I am really surprised that this hasn't been addressed sooner in your relationship but a change is what will probably be best for all.
  • well, if my reality is "weird" because i am torn by a situation that involves my health and emotions as well as the emotions of my husband and the livelihood of the two cats and you have nothing valuable to contribute to be helpful, then i dont understand your intent behind added critical, unnecessary, judgmental commentary. and for the record, it was other PP making comments about my husband being controlling and i was responding to it. no marriage is perfect, if our only problem is that my husband can be overly protective and come off as controlling than i would say our marriage is far better off than others out there. but really, thanks for your so obvious disingenuous concern for my problems. and as i mentioned, i dont know how any of this accidentally posted to june 2015 moms. regardless, if i was a june 2015 mom and i wanted to post it, i would have the right to. its not like i am posting some garbage about my feelings about my friends baby shower invite
  • allstagg said:

    well, if my reality is "weird" because i am torn by a situation that involves my health and emotions as well as the emotions of my husband and the livelihood of the two cats and you have nothing valuable to contribute to be helpful, then i dont understand your intent behind added critical, unnecessary, judgmental commentary. and for the record, it was other PP making comments about my husband being controlling and i was responding to it. no marriage is perfect, if our only problem is that my husband can be overly protective and come off as controlling than i would say our marriage is far better off than others out there. but really, thanks for your so obvious disingenuous concern for my problems. and as i mentioned, i dont know how any of this accidentally posted to june 2015 moms. regardless, if i was a june 2015 mom and i wanted to post it, i would have the right to. its not like i am posting some garbage about my feelings about my friends baby shower invite

    Can you please clarify who you are addressing? And I don't believe it is helpful to criticize other women's questions that are unrelated to you just because you don't find them important.
  • @ElRuby - apologies, my last comment was for konacoffeebean, i forgot to append that to the start of my comment. most of our friends are big time cat lovers and really helped me through the past 6 years empowering me to do everything i can to keep the cats in the house. DH and i talked about my allergies before we first started dating and when we were together we talked about how i would temper my allergies but we never talked about what would happen if things didnt improve or get better so that was fault on both of our parts. i think we both avoided it because we knew it would head down the direction of rehoming the boys. we have so so so many cat sanctuaries here in tiny connecticut is absolutely amazing and supposedly if you can get property for a decent price, it isn't too expensive to maintain because a lot a lot of people are willing to donate. we make monthly contributions to a couple because what they do for these cats is truly amazing. for the most part, they are cats whose owners have passed and named the sanctuary as their caretaker OR it is strictly reserved for people who are disabled and unable to care for their cats.
  • allstagg said:

    @ElRuby - apologies, my last comment was for konacoffeebean, i forgot to append that to the start of my comment. most of our friends are big time cat lovers and really helped me through the past 6 years empowering me to do everything i can to keep the cats in the house. DH and i talked about my allergies before we first started dating and when we were together we talked about how i would temper my allergies but we never talked about what would happen if things didnt improve or get better so that was fault on both of our parts. i think we both avoided it because we knew it would head down the direction of rehoming the boys. we have so so so many cat sanctuaries here in tiny connecticut is absolutely amazing and supposedly if you can get property for a decent price, it isn't too expensive to maintain because a lot a lot of people are willing to donate. we make monthly contributions to a couple because what they do for these cats is truly amazing. for the most part, they are cats whose owners have passed and named the sanctuary as their caretaker OR it is strictly reserved for people who are disabled and unable to care for their cats.

    Would it be possible to rehome them into one of those sanctuaries? You could probably even still visit them and contribute to their ongoing care.
  • For what it's worth, and not related to where this thread has gone, cats do not hold grudges or act out because we do certain things (op mentioned something about this waaaay early on). Specifically, your cat was not peeing because it was upset you left for an extended period of time. It probably smelt funny smells when you got back and needed to mark its territory. Or it got nervous from the new smells and that's how it dealt with it. I know this isn't where this thread went, but I wanted to clear that up, because a lot of people think that. And this isn't directed at you specifically, OP. Just in general.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • Hilarious - I read comments that September 2015 was its own type of special on these boards, so seeing this was meant for that month has me giggling.

    Cats! Seriously! I almost fired a girl who worked for me who took a MONTH off work for grief after her cat died. She agreed to go to counseling so I chalked it up to mental illness and HR had to get involved.
  • amark11 said:

    Hilarious - I read comments that September 2015 was its own type of special on these boards, so seeing this was meant for that month has me giggling.

    Cats! Seriously! I almost fired a girl who worked for me who took a MONTH off work for grief after her cat died. She agreed to go to counseling so I chalked it up to mental illness and HR had to get involved.




    Yeah, they are super proud of the fact that they reported and banned people whosesopinions (or facts) they didn't like It's a speshul place.
  • @Lovelee85 haha had to come and have a read an all. ;-)
  • Nessy430 said:

    @MrsWiggleWaggle haahah yes. I felt like I was on that website with the "awkward family photos"

    ^^^^^ hahaha, yes! ;)
  • off of the cat topic, but related to the S15 boards.. first thread i see is a mother posting a picture of her son's penis, i say that i find that act to be awkward and suddenly someone is bring up porn and "if you dont have anything nice to say then dont say anything" like.. what..
  • off of the cat topic, but related to the S15 boards.. first thread i see is a mother posting a picture of her son's penis, i say that i find that act to be awkward and suddenly someone is bring up porn and "if you dont have anything nice to say then dont say anything" like.. what..

    Lol again, not gonna judge the entire board but these are the same ladies proclaiming how nice their bmb is? Then they turn it into you being pervy? So crazy. I agree with you completely, baby genitals are unnecessary to share on the internet. Perhaps that's an unpopular opinion lol
  • @mrswigglewaggle @amark11@amhowell14 @Nessy430 @raptorteaparty @MixedCurlsXo - i haven't been quiet because i have been shammed by others (thanks @nessy430 for coming up with that one) but because i was busy at work and just had a free moment to check in. THANK YOU SO MUCH for making a mockery out of something that i consider to be a serious topic. and i didnt expect to be continually labeled as crazy or insane because i thought this was a place of mature women raising children. i really hope you dont teach your children that it is ok to name call or laugh at other peoples problems. and i wish people would stop labeling women as crazy whenever a female has emotions because thats the last thing our gender needs. i shared the pictures of my cats because i think theyre freaking adorable and two of the most attractive cats i have encountered. sorry no one feels the same way and think theyre "awkward" and apparently hilarious. but anyways, i did not intend for my discussion in september to turn into a june 2015 moms bashing session. i certainly dont think all june 2015 moms are terrible and i also dont think all september 2015 moms are the friendliest. in fact, i had received some PMs from june 2015 moms being pretty supportive and kind. i cant control the opinions or posts of others on the thread. i was just stating that i posted something to your group unintentionally, couldnt figure out how to switch it, and felt that i was faced with some criticism and name calling, which is true. 
  • oh god you are all so incredibly pathetic. i am crazy for responding to PPs comments and constructive criticism is to laugh and call someone crazy and insane? but then i also must be ashamed of myself if i dont respond right away? good luck to you "people." im not even going to bother to look at any new comments to this thread so carry on with your judgements and attacks, i am sure you set great examples for your children.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"