disturbing behavior

allstagg

My younger cousin is 5 and his new baby brother was introduced to him when he was 3. At the time, Benjamin (the 5 year old), was very violent and aggressive towards the baby. He would smash toys into the babys head and push the baby around. No matter what his parents did, he tried to hurt the baby. Now the baby is 2 and Benjamin is 5. The youngster defends himself quite well often sending the older one into a corner crying. Is this normal? I had a brother 3 years older than me and he embraced me and loved me and wanted to take care of me. My other female cousins had younger siblings and they all took care of each other. I am worried that Benjamin has some type of mental problem.

To further my concerns, when I was in my 1st trimester and my uncle offered me more chocolate, i said no, i dont want to have too much chocolate it isn't healthy and my cousin asked me why and i explained to him that too much candy can make the sugar in my blood high and it isn't healthy for me or the baby. his response? he had a huge smile on his face and said, "why? will baby die?" and he was giddy and excited by the idea of baby dying. i was mortified. i wanted to slap him across his face, talking about a dying baby to a woman in her first trimester?! but ok, lets step back into reality, a young child doesnt understand how the first trimester is a scary time for a new first time mom so i pardon him for his ignorance. HOWEVER, to be excited about a baby dying? i asked other cousins and they were all equally mortified and shook their heads. we all agreed that when we were 5 we all know right from wrong and when to shut our mouths. we were never raised on proper social etiquette but we just knew, if that makes sense?

now my husband doesnt want benjamin near the baby alone or unattended and he doesn't want our kid playing with benjamin when he gets older because he is worried that benjamin will push the kid into oncoming traffic or try to deliberately hurt him because he just completely lacks a moral compass. benjamin performs poorly in school, teachers often send home reports complaining about his behavior, he ignores adults and does not respond to tenderness. could this child have a mental problem that is far greater than your typical behavioral problem? 

LJM0521

I don't have a lot of experience with special needs, but I do know that my children would not act that way toward a baby.  My oldest two are boys and they are both very loving and gentle with newborns.  In fact, my oldest loves babies so much that we often have to fight him to get them back once he's holding one ;-)  If it were my child acting that way, I would be very concerned.  I'm not sure if there's much you can do, though.  I'm assuming his teachers are already approaching the parents.  And I would fully agree with your husband.  I would not leave my baby alone or unattended with him...or any 5 year old for that matter. 

allstagg

@ljm0521 - sorry, i dont know how in the world this posted to special needs! is it normal for young children to exhibit such disturbing behavior? husband thinks the kid is showing signs of some type of psychosis. yes, i would definitely not leave a newborn with him or any other child unattended. i meant to say that in general, husband doesnt want our child playing with my younger cousin because he doesnt trust him. the kid gives my husband the "creeps". :0\

RissKay

TBH, from your description, it sounds like a child with little to no supervision, discipline, and over exposure to things completely above their maturity level. They aren't capable of handling or understanding emotions for situations so above their level, that they respond inappropriately. (That would be why he would laugh or seem "creepy" as you put it about the baby possibly dying. He's 5. He most likely doesn't understand what that means or what it would do to you.) 

I wouldn't let my child around him either, based on what you've said. I still think, though, that it's a behavioral issue more than potential psychosis.  

I'm not a professional, those are just my opinions. If you're really worried, speak to your family member and express your concerns. Otherwise, move on cautiously. 

Knottie1442268460

Might have FASD.