Question for those with 3+

I haven't posted on here in forever and not sure anyone remembers me. DH and I are trying to decide about having a third or not. If we do, I'd like them to be close in age and if that were to happen, we'd need to start TTC soon. My question is, how does the 3rd child change things? The 2nd was hard. Does the 3rd one make it even harder or is it more of a "been there, got this" thing? I think DH is concerned it would be more than he could handle so looking for others experience and opinions to give us a different view point. Thanks!

"A man walking backwards does not see what lies ahead, only what he is leaving behind."

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Re: Question for those with 3+

  • I have 4 girls. 14, 12, 7 & 3 mths. I found the more you have the easier it gets. I think having 2 was harder than when we had 3. Just because of having a toddler to take care of and a newborn. But 4 has been the easiest bc I have such great helpers.
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  • I found the transistion from 0 to 1 the hardest. My second and third are 5 years apart so it was really easy.
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  • I have an 8 , 6 & 1 year old. They where all hard but I would have liked them to be closer together.
  • My husband is in cleaning / garage sale mode. He wants to get rid of our baby stuff. I'm not ready. I'm thinking I want to try for #3.
  • I was so worried about having #3 (a surprise at 6 mos postpartum), since adjusting to #2 was difficult. However, it was way easier. The only thing that was more difficult was getting out and about at first because my 1 y/o still needed to be held when going out (he was a runner), as well as the baby. It just took practice and experimenting with different strollers/carriers and car seat configurations (we upgraded to mini van from our sedan). Right after I had her, DH commented on how much more relaxed I was with 3 kids. I also had to adjust my priorities. I can no longer get everything on my to do list done daily. As long as the kids are fed and happy, I've had a successful day.
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  • MrsJG3MrsJG3 member
    0 to 1 was the hardest for me. I have an almost 5 year gap between DD1 and DD2 so that made that transition easier. When we had DS 2 years later the transition was pretty smooth once I got the hang of it.
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  • LC122LC122 member
    I'll let you know in January.
    DD1 is just under 2 years older than DD2 but will be almost exactly 4 years older than #3, so we have them all spaced about 2 years apart. I wanted the close spacing.
    We have a lot of friends with 3 kids. And my brother has 2 even though he still wants a girl, but they have waited too long and are too far out of the "baby phase" and going back to it would be too drastic a lifestyle change for their family.
    Some of our friends that have had a rough transition were the ones whose kids are older. Yes, the older kids can help, but going back to sleepless nights was more difficult than they anticipated. Still, nobody regrets it.
    Many of our friends say 0 to 1 or 1 to 2 were more challenging than going from 2 to 3.
    I'm sure it's different for everyone but the majority that we know lean towards the "been there, got this" you mentioned.
    Good Luck!
  • 2-Step2-Step member
    We are TTC #3 after years of going back and forth. I found 0-1 really hard because for me it was more about the loss of independence and I was the first of all my friends to have baby, so they were all out still enjoying being free. 1-2 wasn't as hard, but potty training a toddler with a newborn was a special kind of hell I wouldn't like to revisit. However, we got through it and looking back I see it as a tiny rough blip on the radar. Now that my boys are a little older I feel like added a new one would not be as hard as adding a newborn with a toddler. My lifestyle is totally different than it was when I had my first two, I'm in the mom groove and DH is feeling the same after years of saying no way! We finally just decided that we needed to stop focusing on the immediate panic mode stuff (can we handle getting zero sleep, how will we ever go on vacation those first few years?) and try to see our lives 5, 10 or 20 years from now. Both of us could confidently say we would regret not trying for that third chid during all of those phases of life. We both know the first year might be rough, but I'm sure that will someday be a blip on the radar too, and I will have one more family member to enjoy and watch grow. Good luck with your decision, I know its a tough one and personal too. 
  • I'm pregnant with baby #4. Honestly having a third was easy. Also my children are fairly close in age. Good luck Hun. It all depends on you two.
  • As a PP mentioned, I felt the biggest difference going from 2 to 3 was that I could no longer accomplish EVERYTHING I set out for in a day. I have 3 girls 5, 4, & 2, and #4 on the way.

    For me personally, my third is when I really just settled into being a Mom. I accepted that mom activities were going to consume most of my free time, and time in general. I also had to be OK with the house not always being how I wanted, etc. Hard to explain, but it really made me more laid back & go with the flow.

    I see it as a season of life, and I already see how quickly it's passing, so I'm just trying to soak up this stage of life :)
    DD #1 4 years old (09/22/09)
    DD #2 2 years old (08/17/11)
    DD #3 born 08/29/13

  • Yes, I personally found going from 2 to 3 more difficult than 1 to 2. There are things that are like ' I got this' just because I've been here and done that. But it's definitely has its challenges. Our oldest son is 6. Our daughter will be 3 the end of October and our youngest son is 13 weeks. Our baby was a surprise. ;). We didn't plan him.

    With our third, we decided I would stay home which is really hard work and has its challenges too. But all in all I think babies are blessings and we are happy with our family.

    It is kind of funny when I'm out and about with all three tho. I always have some people who look at me like I'm out of my mind. Lol.
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