Discussion with Doctor?

BAmborn

Hi all, FTM here (this may even be my first post, lol!) I'm 26 weeks along now and one of those OCD planner type of gals. At my 20 week appointment I brought up formula versus breast with my OB and her immediate response was why would you strive for anything other then the gold standard.

This honestly infuriated me. I have had nothing but a back and forth experience with her. BACKSTORY: I was referred to another OB in her office (office of 4) whom I absolutely LOVE, but is incredibly popular. She was my general for checkups and since becoming pregnant I have been unable to see her due to her schedule being very full, my 28 week will be the FIRST time I see her. The office has a policy that you must meet with all 4 so that you know whoever might be delivering your baby- totally fine, and I would rather know who is down in my lady parts at least a little bit before I'm laying in a hospital bed ready to push.

Anyways- I go back for my 28 week checkup and was going to dare touch the topic again ESPECIALLY since I am finally meeting with the doctor that is my favorite in the practice. I'm pretty strong on my guns that I want to exclusively FF, and DH is completely on board with me and supports whatever decision I make. We both were FF and have turned out A-O-K in my book.

I'm not the type to be a total biotch to someone, and know that whomever delivers my little girl will ensure a safe delivery for both of us which is top on my list. I just don't want to deal with the backlash of "why strive for anything but the gold standard" grrrrr just makes me start to fume thinking about it.

This seems like more of a rant over an advice request. Has anyone run into this problem, does anybody have tips or suggestions? I'm just a bit overwhelmed.

Thank you all in advance for helping this little lady's crazy head get level.

harmonicbabe26

Two things you can do - completely ignore those comments as if you never heard them, basically act dumb and deaf and just repeat your statement OR make very strong statements that will shut those stupid people in their tracks. In any case, it is YOUR decision and YOUR baby. Luckily I only saw any kind of judgment from people on internet forums, never in real life, so I didn't have to do either, but. I had my guns loaded just in case...

rachelcalderon525

Formula feeding vs. breastfeeding is a very personal choice. But whatever you choose to do, if you have such strong feelings about one vs. the other, don't let others influence your decision.

There are benefits for breastfeeding, but FF babies turn out just fine too. I pumped my mile for the first 3 weeks and gave that to him at daytime and formula at night. Breastfeeding was extremely painful for me and after 3 days in the hospital with LO losing weight, I just wanted to make sure he was ok. He is a month old now and only doing formula now since I can't produce what he needs.

Since you are the OCD planner type (I am too...) be prepared that not all formula is equal. You may have to try a few different ones out before you find one that is right for your baby. That is what my LO is going thru now. Which, quite frankly is a little bit frustrating, but all part of the process.

I would still discuss your plans with your favorite doctor. She's entitled to her opinion as well, but its good for the doc to know what your plans are too. In the end, your baby, your decision. Don't feel bad about whatever you choose. Its a personal decision and people shouldn't judge.

Maladroit

I think she meant well, honestly.  You should just politely tell her that you'll be a happier mom if you FF.  Happy mom = happy baby.  Dad gets to be more involved, mom gets more sleep (maybe), and you won't be tied to a baby or pump.  Tell her that FF is what will work best for your family and that is YOUR gold standard.  If she wants to butt into your decision more, then unleash the beast.

cne111213

What you've probably realized while you're pregnant is everyone has an opinion and everyone thinks they know best. And yes, while we should listen to our doctors advice- it's just that- advice. Every doctor has a different opinion. So unless it's something absolutely terrible you're doing on purpose to hurt your baby you go with how you want to raise your child. I'm tired of all the comments and oh but you're not a parent yet. Sheesh, no one knows any better than the next person and we are each entitled to do what we want with the child we are growing inside our bodies. I'm formula feeding too and frankly no ones opinion will change what I want to do because sorry to everyone but it's my baby not yours. You did what you wanted with your baby now let me do what I'd like. It's frustrating and you cannot escape that everyone has to put their opinions in.

BAmborn

Thank you all for your input it means a lot. I was able to speak with the other doctor in the practice and she told me I need to do what is best and never ever feel cornered to make a decision.

Rachel- thanks so much for the heads up on having to bounce around between formulas. I'm anticipating having to do that and have had quite a few mommy friends suggest starting with similac since within their own company they have multiple formulas.

DH and I were both formula fed babies- he is an engineer and I work in a law firm...so I'm pretty sure we both turned out AOK on the brains!

31 weeks now- cannot wait to meet this little girl!

SLGILL1978

I agree with Rachel too. I would start out with the brand the hospital uses and go from there. 

Emmerbemmers

And also, she's the OB, not the pediatrician. Obviously, breastfeeding is in her wheelhouse, but the health of the baby is not technically job once baby is safely delivered. A good response is, "I'm going to talk to our chosen pediatrician about feeding choices, thanks for you input." 

29jmicks

My doctor asked me if I decided between breast feeding or formula feeding. I told him formula feeding and that was that. He didn't try to persuade me one way or the other. I plan on using the same formula as what the hospital uses unless there are any issues. We were told that it is best to stick with the same brand of formula unless you need to change for a specific reason.

leela02

My OB's office asked me if I was planning to BF so that they can call my insurance to request a free electric pump. I was planning to BF but it didn't work out. When I told them I was FF they gave me coupons and samples.

If I don't want to hear a non-expert opinion I wouldn't bring up the subject with a non-pediatrician (This is not a criticism of you OP, just my personal inclination).