single pregnant and confused need advice asap

annie1990af

Well where to begin i am 35 weeks now and fob wants to be involved and have visitation. I have no problem with this just dont know if i want my daughter to have his name and defo dont want him im delivery room. He isnt one to listen to reason i sed he isnt going to be in delivery room and when midwife asked at last app about who was gonna be there he pipped in and said "well i would love to but SHE dont want me there what do u think" midwife told him it was my choice of who i had there and he became very stressy. I have noticed he seems to get a strop on every time he things dont go his way. Im 24 ftm and he is ten years older than me but acting like a two year old. This is his first child but he didnt want to kno till 20weeks as we only had a one night stand and got a baby out of it lol. I understand he is getting dna i told him to as i wont accept any maintanice off of him till he get paperwork back. I kno the truth he used dna as a excuse to be a cunt towards me and tried to say i was beimg selfish by having this child but again all changed at 20 weeks idk what happened but need advie from you ladies. How would you deal with visitation setup with him????

Please help me

20thirteen

First, deep breaths mama, you sound stressed and you really can't allow him to get under your skin.

Secondly, you have every right to not allow him in the delivery room! Sorry he's being such a dick about it.  But if he's just going to stress you out, keep him out.

In my birth plan, I included a picture of my ex and said that he was not allowed there.  They gave a copy to security so that they knew to look out for him too.  He didn't bother to come, but if he did, the hospital knew to kick him out.  It also sounds like he's trying to guilt you to change your mind.  You should tell him that if that's the way he's going to be, that you won't have him at the appointments anymore.  If he's going to be this contentious, it definitely isn't helping either of you.  You're not making him be in a relationship with you, and I understand he may be mad that you went through with the pregnancy but it takes two to tango.  I'm wondering if that thought crossed his mind and that's why he changed his mind at 20 weeks...?  However, his behavior is concerning... 

I would:

... and tell him that if he can't grow up, he can't be a part of your pregnancy.  Keep all communication through writing, either text or email.  For visitations, I would see about supervised visits, I think you'd have to go through the court system for this.  But this way, you wouldn't have to be there in the room with him, there would be an authority figure there (a police officer), and there wouldn't be stress that could affect the LO.  If he doesn't like that, well:

You're mama bear. You are trying to be fair without letting him walk all over you. If he doesn't like what you have to say, tell him to get a lawyer.  And then lawyer up.  Some attorneys will go pro bono, you'll have to look for them.