Hubby vent

Guennie

When my h texts me and says, "Leaving in about 20" after choosing to spend his weekend off sailing instead of doing something with his family, then two hours later he still isn't home....I get a little bitchy. I totally don't even want to speak to him when he walks in the door.

NeonNoon

That sucks. Did you work things out?

MH needs me to explicitly tell him my expectations for the weekend or he doesn't get it. He's also terrible with time.

mattandlora

I take whatever DH tells me for anything (how long it takes him to get ready, when he's leaving work, etc) and double it.

Guennie

Well he came home and said this guy collapsed next to his truck and nobody could locate any family. So it sounded like there was some drama. However, he smelled like alcohol and he said he wasn't going to drink. So I think he used that as an excuse. I didn't want to fight so I just let it go, but I am not happy about it.

springbeduk2

That would have been a much more valid excuse back in the payphone era than it is these days!

My h. disappeared into sailing all last summer. ... I'm kindof dreading this one. Do you and your daughter ever go with him? Mine wants it to be something we do together (though he went on his own all last summer exvept a couple times in september we all went) and we got a less small, so safer boat at the end of last summer but I really don't see how it will work now that dd is mobile. And it is stressful and a lot of projects are required to get that boat ready and we really need to put any project-energy (and time and $$) into the house since at the moment we don't even have a room for DD. Augh. But I know he is only going to be interested in the boat and will be frustrated with me for not being as into it as he is. Anyway ... +1 with you on hubby choosing sailing over more sensible and considerate priorities for the family. And if you do go with him ever and take your daughter, please share any tips on that!

Guennie

We have taken her a couple times. We have a toddler life jacket. We went out when it was low winds so there wouldn't be any drama. I fed her lunch down below. I love sailing, it's how h and I met, but it's an entirely different experience with a toddler. It was exhausting. I want to keep doing it as a family but not all the time.

I don't know how to get my h to see that he needs to actually schedule time together as a family. He can't just schedule stuff he does by himself. I've talked to him about this but it didn't seem to sink in.

Designermomma

Maybe you could make it easy and say Sundays (or every other weekend) are family days and you plan things to do together. Also, take turns doing things on your own. Everyone needs a break every now and again but it needs to be equal. We had a good system going where Tuesdays were hubby's night out with friends and Thursdays were mine. The weekends we spent together. Now with our oldest being 6 and into lots of activities and throw in a 1 year old, it's a lot trickier. I think we a slowly getting back to a balance though. Maybe it would work for you.

Guennie

I've tried to do that but his work schedule is so crazy it just never comes together. He seriously goes in to work every day of the week even if it's just for a couple hours. Unless there is a sailing event, then somehow he's magically able to be off.