@nittanypa I was thinking the same thing...where did OP go? she doesn't even have any defense for herself. I'd like her hubby's contact info, I'd like to send him these posts so he can see the truth.
Honestly, I think he should stay in daycare. At 4, he's used to that routine so that's a plus for him. Also, you need that time to heal from giving birth and adjust to having a new baby. I totally get where your hubs is coming from financially, but he's not thinking about your body or how it would make you or your stepson feel. He's not the one taking on extra responsibility, and it's really crappy of him to tell you to do it just to save money. He's also not thinking about how much exhausted you'll be without the added stress of chasing a preschooler all day or how much it will suck for his son to be home all day, not the priority, and most likely bored because he no longer has playmates all day like he's accustomed to (I have a just about 4 year old so this is my every day). Step or biological, if it was my choice, I'd keep the older kid in daycare (or at least drop him to part time if DH is really adamant about money).
If it makes you feel better from a stepmom aspect, my step kids will be with us for a month this summer right around when the baby is born. I do feel maternal towards them and still made arrangements for my stepson to be at camp 2 of those weeks. It makes it easier for me to heal and adjust to the new baby.
I haven't posted just because this hurts me but it's time. I'm going to make it short and simple
1.if you didn't want to be a step mother to HIS child then you shouldn't have got involved with him period!! You knew from the beginning that he was a FULL TIME FATHER not a part time one
2.you need time to adjust to being a mother....then what the fukk have you been doing for the past 2 years with this little boy cause you should've been fully adjusted to being a mother by now!!
3.you should have thought about raising a newborn and a 4 year old before getting pregnant!!! It's life! You put yourself in this situation so deal with it!! I'm going to have 2 children home with me on summer break when I have this baby and you don't see me wanting to ship them off to daycare or something just so they are out of my way!!
4.you need help cause if you can't find love for this child that you have been living with for 2 years you have a serious problem!! This child doesn't have a mother so you think as a WOMAN you would have stepped up to the plate already since you "love" his father.
WOW! Poor little guy. I wish I could tell his dad, I am sure he would like to know that he leaves his prized possession with a "care taker" that doesn't love him. Selfish if you ask me, I feel bad as he grows up seeing and feeling the difference in how you treat your biological child and the child that you "get along fine with."
Ouch!! I have a step-son who just turned 15 yrs old 2 weeks ago. He was 15 mos when his dad and I started dating. We married when he was 4yrs old. The difference is that his mother is still in the picture and he lived full time with her until a week before his 12th bday and has been here with rare visits to his mother since then. We had a our first baby when SS was almost 5 and are now finally expecting #2. This boy, even though he is not my blood, is part of my everything. His mother is a crazy, messed up, nasty piece of work but, thankfully this kid has lucked out and accepted our values rather than hers. Now, I understand wanting to have that bonding time between you and your new babe but to say that you don't want this little guy around completely baffles me. You ARE his mother - being a mother doesnt mean blood. It means you've accepted a child to love and care for and have welcomed into your heart. You are the only mother this boy knows. Please don't make him feel resentful toward your new baby. What if he went to preschool 2 days a week instead of everyday? Compromise a little...
I apologize if I've offended anyone... I adore my SS and don't know what my life would be without him.
You should be ashamed of yourself. I don't like talking about my child hood but in this case I will. My mom had 5 girls (myself included) and she married my step dad and he had 3 boys. My father died when I was 6. I am now 26 and I do not know what it feels like to have a father's love. My step dad stared off like you doing the minimum and we loved that but as soon as he married my mom his true colors came out. My step father hated my sister's and I we couldn't do anything but my step brothers got treated like little kings they got the best of everything. We were physically and emotionally abused until we turned of age to get out of the house. It was really bad talk about low self-esteem and low self worth. We all resented our mother and him but mostly our mom. However thank God for Jesus because I can honestly say I forgive him and my mom. And I pray that when I have my son he will never have to go through any of what I did. I'm going to pray for this little boy there is no horrible feeling in this world then to know that the person raising you really doesn't want you or love you. And I'm going to pray for you because you are evil and you should be ashamed of yourself you don't get my sympathy. I'll also pray for your husband and unborn child they are going to need it.
OP having been the "stepchild" I implore you to go get help for the resentment you feel towards this kid. You're going to say you don't resent him but you do. The older her gets the clearer it will be that you're only "doing what you're suppose to do" in regards to him. Not once did you say you loved him.
Re: Bad stepmother?
If it makes you feel better from a stepmom aspect, my step kids will be with us for a month this summer right around when the baby is born. I do feel maternal towards them and still made arrangements for my stepson to be at camp 2 of those weeks. It makes it easier for me to heal and adjust to the new baby.
Good luck!!
1.if you didn't want to be a step mother to HIS child then you shouldn't have got involved with him period!! You knew from the beginning that he was a FULL TIME FATHER not a part time one
2.you need time to adjust to being a mother....then what the fukk have you been doing for the past 2 years with this little boy cause you should've been fully adjusted to being a mother by now!!
3.you should have thought about raising a newborn and a 4 year old before getting pregnant!!! It's life! You put yourself in this situation so deal with it!! I'm going to have 2 children home with me on summer break when I have this baby and you don't see me wanting to ship them off to daycare or something just so they are out of my way!!
4.you need help cause if you can't find love for this child that you have been living with for 2 years you have a serious problem!! This child doesn't have a mother so you think as a WOMAN you would have stepped up to the plate already since you "love" his father.
I apologize if I've offended anyone... I adore my SS and don't know what my life would be without him.