First MC, what to expect (D&C)?

Lexie Marie

Went to my 12 week appt Friday all to find out that baby boy(harmony test) no longer had a heartbeat. Growth looks to have stopped at 9 weeks 5 days. We are devastated. On top of grieving the loss of our baby, I need to make a decision on the next step MC naturally or do the D&C. What can I expect from the D&C if that is the route I should go? I am leaning that way but in all honestly I am terrified. How will this effect future fertility (or would it)? What are the things I need to ask/know before hand? This is all still very fresh and it likes a living nightmare. 

carrieandr

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I also found out on Friday that the heartbeat was gone and I'm now waiting to miscarry naturally. I'm over 9 weeks, but growth stopped at 6. I'm not sure what I would do if I was 9w5d -- possibly D&C -- but I wanted to reply just to say you're not alone. I'm adjusting to the new reality, but the sadness seems to sit there right under the surface, accessible at a moment's notice. FIne one minute, crying the next.

I've been focusing on the steps ahead: wait, miscarry, wait, period, wait, ovulate. For some reason it makes me feel like I'm accomplishing the necessary tasks to bring me back to where I want to be, instead of feeling like I have no control over what's happening to me.

As for your questions, my doctor said that both the natural route or D&C are fine options and my fertility shouldn't be affected either way. Hopefully others can answer the rest. Good luck.

Lexie Marie

CarrieandRoy. I never realized just how devastating a MC was/is until now. Truly empathize a whole new level. My midwife called me back this morning and we talk over the options more. She is ok for whichever route I choose but recommends the D&C since baby is a bit further developed at almost 10 weeks. So with that I am going to D&C route this week, waiting for the scheduler to call me now. 

I can absolutely relate to the sadness is right below the surface. I am there myself. It is all still so raw and fresh. I drift between that and shock that this is not just a bad dream. Best wishes for you dear, my heart is with you at this time as well

cchenal07

I found out on Wednesday our baby had no heartbeat at 8 wks. We chose a d&c and scheduled it for today. On Friday however I started miscarrying naturally. It felt like an awful period with very bad cramps that kept me up all night. Today they had me do an ultrasound and gave me pills to clear out any remaining tissue. No d&c needed. I am happy it happened the way it did and spent the weekend at home grieving with my husband. I am sorry for your loss and either choice will be fine!

bntfroggie

I just found out today at our 12 wk that the baby's heart stopped beating at 9.5 wks. I can relate to the absolute devistation. I know everything happens for a reason, but whatever this reason is it is a hard one. I had no clue what people had gone through until now and wish I still didn't know.

I'm not sure what I'll decide either natural or d&c it is only just now starting to sink in that come October my little one won't be here.

4N6s

I'm so sorry for your loss. I was in a similar position. My doctor refused to do a d&c since it was my first pregnancy as well. It can cause scarring and future complications, not sure of the statistics on that though.
He told me to wait the 2 weeks to see what happens, natural would be the top choice and then cytotec and d&c as a last resort.
I miscarried naturally a couple days later. The waiting period is absolutely terrible and I wanted a d&c so it could all be over.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Hang in there.

LJ623

@LexieMarie, I don't have any specific advice regarding a D&C, but I was also on the October 2015 Birth Club and recognize you from the posts over there.  I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss (and yes, I know that isn't necessarily the easiest thing to hear!).  I just miscarried naturally after being told last week that the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks and there was no heartbeat.  If nothing had happened naturally before today - my midwife wanted me to decide between D&C and the medication.  I had done my research and had decided that D&C was the best option.  

After last night, both DH & I agreed that a D&C might have been preferable.  This was my first pregnancy, so I have not experienced labor, but basically it seemed I was having contractions (and I assume they were still nothing compared to the pain of labor contractions) with increasing frequency and pain until I passed the sac.  It was not only physically painful, but definitely did not help emotionally either.  I think in some ways it did help that I knew to expect the miscarriage as I think that fear would have added to the issues last night, but it still was something I would never wish on my worst enemy.

Good luck, and I'll be thinking of you!

Lexie Marie

Thank you for your words ladies. My D&C was yesterday and I am so happy I went that route. It feels relieving to physically have it behind me if that is what you call it. Best wishes to you all experiencing the same thing