Girls Named Ryan: Epidemic

Kate0034

Warning: Long.

I really don't want this to sound judgmental and snarky to people who have daughters named Ryan. But it probably will so I'm just going to apologize now (sorry!)

That said.. I truly wish I could just make a PSA and beg everyone to stop naming girls Ryan. Irish names have a special place in my heart, and I hate to see this awesome boys name go over to the girls. I will explain, but first I have to make a confession (regulars don't judge me)....

I get it. I see why you think it sounds cool on a girl. About 7 years ago I knew a girl who named her baby Maggie Ryan. I thought it was adorable. (Granted, this was MN, but still).

Fast forward 7 years, and I have met a significant number of *other* little female Ryans. I've also met a Ryann. I didn't think too much of it at first, until I started reading more about name trends (mostly due to this board).

The thing is, once a boys name crosses over and becomes an accepted girls name, parents don't use it for boys anymore. They decide it (a MASCULINE name) is "girly". Take Ashley, which used to be a boys name. I know one single male Ashley today and he's 50. Sometimes names become "gender neutral," but other times the girls just win.

I was never afraid this would happen to Ryan until recently, when I've read on more than one occasion the following advice:

"Don't name your son Ryan. Every little Ryan I know is a girl."

WHAT!?

I just think it's sad. There are SO many good girls names out there. Even truly gender neutral names. Why do we have to steal the boys names?

There is a way that boys parents can fight back though. DON'T LET THE GIRLS WIN! Don't quit naming your boys Ryan. Or Avery. Or Elliott. Just because some girls share the name, don't surrender. Be strong. Save the endangered names.



*inspirational speech / lunatic rant over*

wassuphoes

lmader

So funny.. I've never met a girl named Ryan.

Kate0034

lmader said:

So funny.. I've never met a girl named Ryan.

That gives me some hope!

I figured it was just a Southern thing (it's everywhere here) until I started seeing it online. Ugh.

YogaSandy

I agree. However, not because of Ryan (never met a girl named Ryan), but because of Peyton. I'll admit, we caved. We wanted to name DS Peyton Andrew. We were so in love with it. But, living in a small town with an epidemic of girls named Peyton made us change our minds. We counted something like four girls his age or a year or two older (those were just the ones we knew) named Peyton. And in our town you pretty much go to school from kindergarten to high school with most of the same kids. We didn't want him teased. And the last straw was the second time we told someone we were going to name him Peyton and we received the response. "Peyton? I thought you were having a boy."

I believe (maybe I'm wrong) that if we still lived in the city, we wouldn't have caved. But living in a remote area with a population of less than 5000, everyone knowing everyone, it just didn't fit for us. Sometimes I regret caving, for all the reasons OP listed (and because I'm stubborn to the point where I do things I maybe wouldn't have just to "show" people, but this was about DS, not me). However, I also love DS's name (Liam) and can't really imagine him being named anything else (even Peyton). When we changed our minds, we told my cousin's wife and our reasons. She thought it was a silly name for a girl because "you can't get any more masculine than Peyton Manning."

And yes, his potential name was inspired by Peyton Manning, DH's all time favorite football player. I hate football, but I love the name, and I chose it. DH was reluctant, because he thought people would think he named his kid after his player. Then as a joke, he suggested Andrew (as in Andrew Luck, who replaced Manning) and I immediately vetoed it, but then was like, I really like how it sounds. And yes, for someone who doesn't like football, I know way more about it than I want to know.

valeriemarie24

It's crazy how these trends come to be. Ryan and Elliott have gone the way of Kelly, Lindsay, Kim etc. Those used to be common men's names way back when. It's almost unheard of for boys to have those names anymore (except for maybe a few older men).
There are so many beautiful girls names, leave the boys names for the boys.

Kate0034

@YogaSandy I totally understand the small town issue (my hometown is the same way). I hate that Peyton was ruined for you guys! In my area there are still a good many boys named Peyton (named after Manning), but there are a lot of girls, too.

YogaSandy

Kate0034 said:

@YogaSandy I totally understand the small town issue (my hometown is the same way). I hate that Peyton was ruined for you guys! In my area there are still a good many boys named Peyton (named after Manning), but there are a lot of girls, too.

Thanks. It's NBD now, because he is definitely Liam. I don't even think it's so much that I don't like masculine names on girls (which I don't), or that am amazing name was ruined for us, but more so that I gave in on something I wanted due to [perceived or real] societal pressure. That is something I never do and am very much against.

wassuphoes

Kate0034 said:

lmader said:

So funny.. I've never met a girl named Ryan.

That gives me some hope!

I figured it was just a Southern thing (it's everywhere here) until I started seeing it online. Ugh.

I keep seeing it pop up on the internet, luckily no real life encounter yet. I'm going to blame baby name sites for some of this, with the inherent gender segregation, it just takes one person to submit a name (say Ryan) for a girl and suddenly, people looking for girls names are all "Oh, thats a nice name" 

........This sorta happened to me for a character name. Oh well. If I ever get big and famous I'll have a disclaimer in my books that you shouldn't name your spawn after any of my characters. 

Venture into the Birth month club boards if you dare, there are some really nice names on there, but there are some really, really, really bad names (But great side-characters people aren't supposed to care too much about names) there as well.

Monilee1017

In the past year I know two people who named there daughters Charlie, and not Charlotte or Charlene and have the nm Charlie, the actually name charlie. Has this always been a Girls name and I not know it?

wassuphoes

Monilee1017 said:

In the past year I know two people who named there daughters Charlie, and not Charlotte or Charlene and have the nm Charlie, the actually name charlie. Has this always been a Girls name and I not know it?

Nope. It was never a girls name and is still not a girls name. Just misguided people.

e1223

Yes. Really drives me nuts too! In the past 2 weeks, I've heard of baby girls named Bennett, Lincoln, Everett and Davy. The last one isn't even a name, period, but if anything sounds like a nickname for David.

Kate0034

Monilee1017 said:

In the past year I know two people who named there daughters Charlie, and not Charlotte or Charlene and have the nm Charlie, the actually name charlie. Has this always been a Girls name and I not know it?

Charlie as a NN (mainly have heard it for Charlotte) is NMS, but I don't mind it.

Charlie by itself? On a girl? No way.

ETA: Ironically enough, my sister and BIL want to name their daughter either Ryan or Charlie. I'm trying to think of a tactful way to stage an intervention. :-S

valeriemarie24

I worked with a girl named Charlee. Not a nickname for Charlotte or any other name, just Charlee.

Sassenach1743

I knew one girl named Ryan in hs, and that was 16 years ago. At that time, she was the odd one out and everyone still regarded Ryan as a masculine boys name.
So, I hear you. I'm not a fan of this trend either.

missemmawoodhouse

Or James *cough* Blake Lively *cough*

magsugar13

Ryan is just one of many ames that have gone to the other side. This post should include all of them.
People think it is cute :-&

mattandlora

Yeah, I've seen a few girls named James now.

CGless

I would name a boy Ashley, Ainslie, Avery, Leslie or Kelly.

But I would also name a girl Ryan or Elliott.

Apparently people don't think name can be unisex and they are strictly male/female and crossing them is ruining them. I'm not one of those people.

LizWhiz87

THANNNNNNNK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

wassuphoes

CGless said:

I would name a boy Ashley, Ainslie, Avery, Leslie or Kelly.

But I would also name a girl Ryan or Elliott.

Apparently people don't think name can be unisex and they are strictly male/female and crossing them is ruining them. I'm not one of those people.

Very few names are truly unisex. Almost every language has feminine and masculine forms of the same name. And as other posters have pointed out, the main issue with this is most people who are willing to name their daughters traditionally masculine names are not willing to name their sons traditionally feminine names.

All the boy names you listed are traditionally masculine names. Let me know when you you want to name your son Aria or Sue.

LizWhiz87

CGless said:

I would name a boy Ashley, Ainslie, Avery, Leslie or Kelly.

But I would also name a girl Ryan or Elliott.

Apparently people don't think name can be unisex and they are strictly male/female and crossing them is ruining them. I'm not one of those people.

There is a difference between names that are truly unisex, like Alex, Jamie, etc. and those that people choose to misgender. All the names you have listed above are male names. The question isn't whether you would name your boy a male name and your girl a male name, it's whether you would name a girl Ryan and a boy Rachel. So, would you?

carolyn219

Went to new dentist last week.  Asked her if she had children.  She said "Yes, Jack & Ryan".  I said "Oh how nice.  Two brothers to hang out together".  She says "No, it's brother & sister.  Ryan's my daughter."  I was embarrassed at first -- then thought DUH, she's the one who gave her daughter a boy's name.

We have a Ryan in our family.  HE is 43.  At the time he was named, Ryan was rare indeed -- only well-known Ryan was Ryan O'Neill.  When he was 12, he met a 5-year old girl named Ryan.  His first encounter with a female Ryan, and he was bummed out.  He couldn't believe a parent had named a daughter Ryan.

Kate0034

CGless said:

I would name a boy Ashley, Ainslie, Avery, Leslie or Kelly.

But I would also name a girl Ryan or Elliott.

Apparently people don't think name can be unisex and they are strictly male/female and crossing them is ruining them. I'm not one of those people.

Maybe you're willing to give your boy a name that is traditionally masculine but hasn't been used on a boy in YEARS (Ashley), but the truth is, most people aren't. Once a name fully "crosses over," people quit using it for boys.

And like PPs have pointed out, it doesn't happen the other way. We don't name boys Rachel or Catherine or Elizabeth and expect them to become unisex. So the boys are constantly losing names, but girls aren't.

If we keep going, will we have any strictly boys names left? Or will they all be either female or "unisex"? (I realize this is very dramatic, but just making a point).

ETA: If people would start naming their boys girls names, it would all even out and ALL names would become unisex. I'd be fine with that. But we all know that's never going to happen, so it will stay one-sided.

Kate0034

magsugar13 said:

Ryan is just one of many ames that have gone to the other side. This post should include all of them.
People think it is cute :-&

I used Ryan as an example of the early "crossover" stage. Feel free to insert any name you wish.

==N==

Kate0034 said:

magsugar13 said:

Ryan is just one of many ames that have gone to the other side. This post should include all of them.
People think it is cute :-&

I used Ryan as an example of the early "crossover" stage. Feel free to insert any name you wish.

It's Quinn that makes me the most mad.

Side note, my 9yo saw a little girl named Cameron on tv once and thought that was just crazy for a girl. Here's hoping I'm raising a new generation of good namers!

Kate0034

==N== said:

Kate0034 said:

magsugar13 said:

Ryan is just one of many ames that have gone to the other side. This post should include all of them.
People think it is cute :-&

I used Ryan as an example of the early "crossover" stage. Feel free to insert any name you wish.

It's Quinn that makes me the most mad.

Side note, my 9yo saw a little girl named Cameron on tv once and thought that was just crazy for a girl. Here's hoping I'm raising a new generation of good namers!

The first person that popped in my head was Cameron Diaz.

Celebrities do not help this cause.

People look at these beautiful female celebrities and think, "Oh, great name!" (Blake Lively. Hayden Panettiere.)

No. Just no.

Sassenach1743

magsugar13 said:

Ryan is just one of many ames that have gone to the other side. This post should include all of them.
People think it is cute :-&

Great. Let's make a list.

Aubrey

Ashley

Avery

Bailey

Blake

Casey

Courtney/ Cortney

Devon

Dylan

Jamie

Jesse/ Jessie

Jordan

Kelly

Kelsey

Leslie

Lindsay

Loren

Lynn

Morgan

Riley

Shannon

Skylar

Stacy

Taylor

Tracy

Newest trends: Elliott, James, Ryan, Wyatt

Please feel free to add to this list.

valeriemarie24

To add to your list, Peyton. I don't like the name to begin with but especially not for girls.
And many of the names ending in -son. I've met a surprising number of little girls who are Addison, Emerson etc. anything that ends in SON should be for boys, Including Madison. I actually know a boy Madison, which makes sense because these names mean 'son of _____'. But I don't see that changing soon unfortunately

lola2bee

Kate0034 said:

CGless said:

I would name a boy Ashley, Ainslie, Avery, Leslie or Kelly.

But I would also name a girl Ryan or Elliott.

Apparently people don't think name can be unisex and they are strictly male/female and crossing them is ruining them. I'm not one of those people.

Maybe you're willing to give your boy a name that is traditionally masculine but hasn't been used on a boy in YEARS (Ashley), but the truth is, most people aren't. Once a name fully "crosses over," people quit using it for boys.

And like PPs have pointed out, it doesn't happen the other way. We don't name boys Rachel or Catherine or Elizabeth and expect them to become unisex. So the boys are constantly losing names, but girls aren't.

If we keep going, will we have any strictly boys names left? Or will they all be either female or "unisex"? (I realize this is very dramatic, but just making a point).

ETA: If people would start naming their boys girls names, it would all even out and ALL names would become unisex. I'd be fine with that. But we all know that's never going to happen, so it will stay one-sided.

I think the made up names start to fill in those gaps right?  I mean eventually the made up names will become legit names.  

LouLouLove

I just started lurking here recently because we're trying to come up with a boy name for boy #2, but I just had to say I 1,000% agree with this! It didn't used to bother me as much when you would hear the occasional girl with a masculine name, however, it has become such a trend and so many good boy names are being taken over by girls. 

My friend had a daughter and named her Rian (Yeah, that's supposed to be Ryan) because she said she figured that was a more feminine spelling. I was like, there is no feminine spelling. It's just a masculine name misspelled. 

Our first son is Lincoln and I was so annoyed when Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard named their daughter Lincoln because it's now becoming a thing. And other celebrities are doing it to boy names like Wyatt and James. I'm sorry, but the fact is it is easier for a girl to go through life with a boy name than it is for a boy to have what is perceived as a girl name. Right or wrong, there's just for of a stigma. 

LizWhiz87

LouLouLove said:

I just started lurking here recently because we're trying to come up with a boy name for boy #2, but I just had to say I 1,000% agree with this! It didn't used to bother me as much when you would hear the occasional girl with a masculine name, however, it has become such a trend and so many good boy names are being taken over by girls. 

My friend had a daughter and named her Rian (Yeah, that's supposed to be Ryan) because she said she figured that was a more feminine spelling. I was like, there is no feminine spelling. It's just a masculine name misspelled. 

Our first son is Lincoln and I was so annoyed when Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard named their daughter Lincoln because it's now becoming a thing. And other celebrities are doing it to boy names like Wyatt and James. I'm sorry, but the fact is it is easier for a girl to go through life with a boy name than it is for a boy to have what is perceived as a girl name. Right or wrong, there's just for of a stigma. 

It's funny because people usually use Y to "feminize" male names, cause like, Landyn with a Y is totally feminine. Obviously your friend couldn't do that so she chose an I as the feminine vowel. Cause those are a thing, right?

KStar21

LouLouLove said:

Our first son is Lincoln and I was so annoyed when Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard named their daughter Lincoln because it's now becoming a thing. And other celebrities are doing it to boy names like Wyatt and James. I'm sorry, but the fact is it is easier for a girl to go through life with a boy name than it is for a boy to have what is perceived as a girl name. Right or wrong, there's just for of a stigma. 

This line of thinking is why so many names face a "death spiral" for boys. You shouldn't be afraid to use a name for a boy just because it's occasionally used for girls (now if it were something like Ashley or Whitney it would be different, but not Ryan, Lincoln, Wyatt, or James). I know plenty of boys with "unisex" names who do just fine - if anything it's easier now than when you were growing up with so many names being used both ways.

samanthaj0e

My SO suggested the atrocity of Dylan before we found out I'm having a boy. He didn't understand why it made me so angry. He doesn't even like it on a boy, just on a girl.

I LOVE Casey for a boy, but my mother said, "That's a girl name!" Grrrrr.

MamaWren919

My husband is Robin and HATES his name, because it was taken over by girls. Same with my male friends Aubrey and Taylor.

I loved Lincoln, but wouldn't use it now. I think it's crazy that James, Wyatt, Ryan, and Elliott are becoming girl names. Especially Wyatt! There is nothing feminine about that name!

valeriemarie24

@samanthaj0e I think Casey is one of those very few that could truly count as unisex (but I could be wrong about this). But @KStar21 I'm pretty sure Ashley and Whitney both started out as boys names back in the day, which goes to further the point of the "boys names gone girl" discussion.

aliciaspinnet

LouLouLove said:

I just started lurking here recently because we're trying to come up with a boy name for boy #2, but I just had to say I 1,000% agree with this! It didn't used to bother me as much when you would hear the occasional girl with a masculine name, however, it has become such a trend and so many good boy names are being taken over by girls. 

My friend had a daughter and named her Rian (Yeah, that's supposed to be Ryan) because she said she figured that was a more feminine spelling. I was like, there is no feminine spelling. It's just a masculine name misspelled. 

Our first son is Lincoln and I was so annoyed when Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard named their daughter Lincoln because it's now becoming a thing. And other celebrities are doing it to boy names like Wyatt and James. I'm sorry, but the fact is it is easier for a girl to go through life with a boy name than it is for a boy to have what is perceived as a girl name. Right or wrong, there's just for of a stigma. 

My nephew is called Rian (pronounced Ree-an) - funnily enough it's a genuine name, and means kingly in Irish. Definitely masculine.

clarever

Pregnant with my third boy and usually I'm not bothered by these kinds of things. Name your child whatever you want buttt I'm now finding it a lot harder to find a great boy name for our third since so many great names have now been taken over by girls. I love so many girly names, don't see the appeal to naming your girl a masculine name.

LouLouLove

@LizWhiz87, I had that same thought when she told me! I was just like, ok...

@KStar21, I actually named my son Lincoln after Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard had their daughter, so it didn't stop me. I still think I would use names like Wyatt, James, and Ryan too if I wanted to because to me they are still firmly masculine names. However, while I see what you're saying, it's hard to predict which names are going to completely "go to the girls", and to me, I just think I'd rather not have my son have to deal with that. A name that was actually unisex wouldn't bother me as much, but most of the names being discussed are not truly unisex. 

@aliciaspinnet, that's actually how I pronounce it in my head every time I see it written. Makes way more sense that way.

LuvLoveXo

I was going to be a Ryan if I was a boy. But I'm not so my mother went with something else.

mattandlora

I've actually seen girls named Ryanne, pronounced Ryan, in an attempt to further feminize the name

*edited for typo