How do I tell my MIL.....

rjackie54

I love my MIL, she is great! But ever since we found out our baby is going to be a girl she texts me throughout the day and sends me baby name suggestions and frankly I hate them! LOL I'm not trying to be mean but she sends me all sorts of weird names; Maizie was yesterday's name. I don't know how to approach her. I certainly don't want to be a jerk and tell her every name she suggests is ugly to me; but I also want her to know that me and her son are going to pick the name at whatever time we choose! People are acing like I'm crazy for not having a name picked out yet and I'm only 16 wks along, I got over 20 to think!! Maybe just being hormonal but all of this is annooooooyyyyyying!

mrskiss

Whenever I can't deal with my MIL, I make DH talk to her. He knows how to tell her to back off in the "right" way. The same goes for me and my mom so it is a two way street...

We don't have a name and won't make a final decision until baby is born. Religious belief-you don't name a baby in the womb. Even if we have a name picked, no one will know until baby is here so that no one calls the baby by the decided on name.

rjackie54

Yeah, this will be the first "issue" I have with his mom so I'll definitely have a little chat with him. I have no problem telling my mom to back off; but I don't want to put him in the middle. That will probably be the best way to handle things.

@mrskiss I am very well thinking about waiting until the baby is born to decide on a name. I am a FTM and can't really understand how I could name a baby without first looking at them and seeing the personality! Also I am a major procrastinator.

starryblue04

You definitely have plenty of time to think of a name! I think MIL's sometimes just want to feel involved and this may be the best way she feels she can. Personally, I'd let it slide. Seems like everyone gives advice I don't necessarily want to hear these day, but I know they mean well so I generally just thank them or say it's a good idea and I'll think about it. My FIL always tells me to listen to classical music and watch funny things to stay lighthearted and not worry about things. The first few times it was fine, but now I just kind of try to remember he means well and go with it!

MrsPyrowiz

I make my husband deal with this stuff. Lol. Him and I actually got in a fight last week (one of VERY few fights we've had in the four years we've been together) but we got in a fight about who can come in when I'm in labor and delivery because his mom was in labor and we were on the way to the hospital. We've started figuring out compromises to the situation. And I won't go into it because I don't want to rant.

But yeah, talk to husband about talking to her. My husband does it for me with his family ALL THE TIME. It comes out so much better coming from their son then it does coming from us.

rjackie54

@starryblue04 lol yes generally I am a very calm laid back person. I've noticed I only get annoyed when I'm starting to get hungry... Which seems like it's all the time now!
The only issue is that I'm very transparent as far as my facial expressions go and I'm not a very good liar so I'm finding it hard to hide my distaste LOL I really do love my MIL, we just don't have the same taste in names.
Ohhhh; she's such a sweet lady. And I know she can barely contain her excitement. She's so ready to be a grandma! And now I'm tearing up because I feel rude for saying she was annoying me. LOL I DONT UNDERSTAND THESE HORMONES!

Cupcakequeen1000

Sounds like my MIL, before i for sure picked out the nursery theme between two i liked she went and bought a bunch of grey/white and yellow elephant themed things. That was one of them but I hadn't decided yet... good thing i like elephant stuff. My husband was actually more annoyed with it than I was. She is always texting me stuff to. I would honestly let that that go, tell her thanks for the ideas and dont think about it anymore. I always have people texting me names they like but im pretty good with telling someone i dont like it or hmmm thats cute ill see what hubby thinks.

rjackie54

@MrsPyrowiz oh no, I totally get you! I've had a couple of friends and family who just assumed they'd be in the room with me when I give birth. NO WAY, JOSE! I have been very specific lol it will just be me, the doctors and DH. We're still trying to come up with a compromise on how soon family can come to the hospital. He wants them to come as soon as I get to the hospital while I'd rather wait at least three days after our LO gets here.

rjackie54

@Cupcakequeen1000 Haha I think I'll jokingly threaten to call the baby Matilda or another name I know she will think is ugly

Cupcakequeen1000

@rjackie54 exactly lol!!!

MrsPyrowiz

rjackie54 said:

@MrsPyrowiz oh no, I totally get you! I've had a couple of friends and family who just assumed they'd be in the room with me when I give birth. NO WAY, JOSE! I have been very specific lol it will just be me, the doctors and DH. We're still trying to come up with a compromise on how soon family can come to the hospital. He wants them to come as soon as I get to the hospital while I'd rather wait at least three days after our LO gets here.

Omg you sound just like me! I don't think husband quite understands what it means that I'm attempting an unmedicated birth. I'm going to be spending the whole time visualizing and getting through contractions and his WHOLE FAMILY'S reaction will be, "why doesn't she get the damn epidural so she'll stop ignoring us?!"

My MIL let me be in the room when she had her little one last week, so since I was planning on my mom being there anyway, I told my husband I didn't want to suggest it, but if his mom said anything, I would tell her it was OK, as long as our mothers stay up by my head if that's what I want at the time. And he also knows that unless there's a problem and baby needs to see the doctor, I will be the only one holding baby for the first twoish hours and everyone except my mom and maybe my sister will get kicked out when I breastfeed (my mom and sister are the only women in both our families who have breastfed so I trust their ability to help). But I really want as few people as possible in the delivery room because this is our first child and I want it to be an intimate moment where we can have peace quiet if we need it.