Hey Bump community! I am posting this as a "Doula" dad
who has been supporting my partner throughout the pregnancy, birth, and b. Here is our birth story…
Labour going great initially and we were at 5cm when we arrived at the hospital.
2 hours later at 7cm and progressing great!
another 2 hours and Doctor made first visit and we were "stuck" at 7cm. She immediately suggested 'breaking the waters' and warned that a Cesarean would be imminent if we didn't speed things up.
Twice I pushed the doctor back against breaking the waters (having read that at best it 'may speed up labour 40minutes' but has way more disadvantages - better to wait for nature). Both times they were very aggressively threatening us with Cesarean if we didn't agree. At one point while discussing with doctor, my partner was moaning in pain and Doctor says "Ok I"m going to go ahead and break your waters, Okay? Okay!" I said "whoa whoa whoa!" and asked my partner again so she could hear. I thought that was super sketchy.
Finally after 4 hours more labouring (still 'stuck' at 7cm supposedly). Doctor putting heavy pressure on us to break waters, so I specifically called her out and asked the doctor if it was "medically necessary" to break the waters at this point. She stated that it absolutely was, although wouldn't look me in the eye ever when talking (kinda unsettling..).
Broke waters and dialation progressed slowly to 9cm. At this point my partner felt urge to push at one point, and doctor elected to "push through the cervical lip" (I was under the impression that it is better to wait patiently so it can naturally dialate to 10cm, without forcing the baby through…and causing problems).
In our birthplan we wanted to push when the mother felt like it, but at this point.. after about 10hours in the hospital, and my partner labouring with no pain medication (just gas). we were both exhausted and Doctor just aggressively went right at the start with "Directed" Pushing - very aggressive - telling my partner to hold her breath and push with all her might and strain as hard as she could. The doctor & her assistant so excited they were even yelling to PUSH PUSH PUSH when there were no contractions… I helped by telling my partner to actually breathe when she was struggling. The doctors were forcing my partners legs open "Open your legs!"
During this process Doctor had 2 fingers in vagina pointing down and appeared to be Pushing down Very Hard on the Perineum. "Push down here where you feel my fingers" at some times pulling as hard as she could on lower part of the vagina to 'open it'
Really hard to watch. Of course the baby became "distressed" with a lower heart rate at some point, and before we knew it there were 7 people in the room and baby was being Venthouse (suction cup) extracted. Doctors pulled very aggressively "PUSH PUSH PUSH!" and 'ripped' the baby out as fast as possible.
5min later.. Doctors yelling "Push push PUsh!" again and they grabbed umbilical cord and yanked out the placenta.
Aftermath - 1 healthy baby (but a bit shocked) and one mother with severe tearing.
This was our first birth, but I can't help thinking "This doctor not only rushed things along, but made a few mistakes along the way…. "
Please provide feedback, comments as we are both still trying to put this together. Is this a "normal" hospital birth, or was that doctor out of line?