Frustrated with DH/Job/SAHM situation

MrsRustyGriswold

Out of the blue last night, DH asks me if I ever think about being a SAHM because he thinks my job/schedule is starting to negatively affect the kids.  I work 40/45 hours a week in 4 days on a consistent, reliable schedule that hasn't changed in 11 years.  I'm so frustrated about this for a few reasons.  One, did he think about changing his job with inconsistent hours and travel?  Two, did he think about the fact that I might actually like my job?  Three, it's either the best or worst time to make a decision like this because we just bought a new house and my company is going through a major restructuring that I think is going to be really good for our company and me, but it's not the time to be playing any games or showing any signs of being less than committed.

/vent over/

bmo88

Has he said specifically why he thinks your job is negatively affecting your kids?

MrsRustyGriswold

I work two late nights a week.  Our parents each take a night and have their grandma/grandpa time if he's also working late on those nights.  Same routine since DD was 4 months old.  I see his point.  I just think it's pretty hypocritical when his job is completely unpredictable and also involves travel.

Twinkie0612

I think you should have asked him if he has thought about being a SAHD since his job has inconsistent hours and requires travel.

I don't have any experience as a parent, but I would think if you are in a set routine it could be more disruptive to change that routine.  As far as the SAHM thing, unless we win the lottery, I will never be a SAHM.  I am by far the breadwinner (and I carry our insurance) and if we had to go to one income DH would be a SAHD.  I don't even think we could support the two of us on his salary alone.  Right now it doesn't bother me that I don't have that option since it isn't something I have ever really dreamed of, I like working and get satisfaction out of doing my job and supporting my family.  I'm sure my feelings could change once we have kids and I have to leave them, but I'll deal with those feelings if they come up.

MrsRustyGriswold

He is the breadwinner - makes 2x what I make, but we would have to make significant changes to everything if we lost my income, so it's not just a drop in the bucket, either.