I've been looking at this board here and there for a awhile so I guess I better introduce myself.
Hubby and I have been TTC for 2 and 1/2 years now. I am 35 and he is 38. Prior to TTC I was on birth control and when I got off them I noticed that my periods were not normal. At first I thought it was just my body getting use to being off the pill. After 6 months of an irregular cycle, I went to my OBGYN for a check up. After lots of bloodwork and an ultrasound, she diagnosed me as having PCOS. No one ever anticipates having PCOS, but it was still a shock to hear those words and face the daunting reality of infertility. I tried one round of clomid to see if that would work, but to no avail. She recommended I go and see a RE.
I've been seeing my RE for a little over a year now. She also tested hubby and he is fine so my issues is only the PCOS. Back in September She had be take a double dose of Letrozole to get me to ovulate. It actually worked - I got pregnant. My husband and I were thrilled. We immediately told our whole family and close friends the good news. My RE had be come in for a 7 week ultrasound to make sure everything was ok before releasing me back to my OBGYN. When looking at the ultrasound she saw no growth from the 5 week one and the heartbeat was barely noticeable. She told me the words I thought I would never hear: The pregnancy will most likely not continue. My world came crashing down. My husband was not there with me, I was all alone. I cried for days. I miscarried naturally a few days later and was just numb from it all.
In January I turned 35 so here I am still TTC. My RE had me do another HSG test to make sure everything was OK after the miscarriage. Now I am waiting on another cycle which means I wait until I am late, then go in for more bloodwork, take medication, then I can have a period. Once I finally get a period I can finally take another round of Letrozole. This time she is having me take a triple dose of it. As luck would have it thought, my husband recently found out that he is going to have to travel to Canada for the next three weeks for work. Of course this would happen right when it is baby making time!
I am trying to be patient with all of this and relying on God's timing, but it is so hard. I pray everyday for God to bless me with a child. This journey has been difficult as I work with children everyday. I love on them as if they were my own, but my heart is empty and longs for one of my own. The most difficult part of my job is seeing parents who can easily get pregnant and think nothing of it or parents who don't realize the gift they have in their child. I find myself angry and questing "why them?" Why does someone like me who loves children has a difficult time getting pregnant and others who don't have an easier time getting pregnant. I know I am preaching to the choir here with this one, but it is an everyday struggle.
Anyway, I look forward to leaning on the ladies of this board for support and advice. Thank you!
Re: intro (Loss mentioned)
Me:39, DH:40
DD born 8/96, DS born 8/04
TTC#3
NTNP since 2006, active trying 1/13
Natural M/C 3/13 at 7 weeks
CP 2/14
All welcome