TTC after 35

Didn't try this month and feeling bad..

the dr did tell me to wait one period before trying.. yet she also said an accident was okay.. I was so conflicted and had some major anxiety trying. I ended up not.. I had perfect positive tests , lots of EWCM.. i am upset with myself and feel like what if it could of happened?? what if it takes a long time now.. i am so stressed. :((((

Re: Didn't try this month and feeling bad..

  • I haven't been through what you have been through but I think we all know that feeling of "what if I missed my One Chance?" on a month when we feel like we didn't do enough. So much of this is outside our control that it feels terrible to not bring your full game to what you can control. I try to remember that my full game is whatever I am physically and emotionally capable of this month and that I can't ask any more of myself. I'm feeling a lot of pressure to try this month because I just had the HSG and "zomg there is an open path that might be closing!" But the truth is, my husband and I are having a really rough month and I don't want to hurt our relationship by pushing this process when we both need some space. So I am trying not to make myself or him crazy by pretending to know something I don't (that this month "would be" the month if we only tried). There have been plenty of months when everything looked great and still BFN. I am trying to remember that my body and mind are both doing the best they can and that the rest isn't ultimately up to me.
    TTC #1 since January 2014
  • I'm sorry you feel this way. In the grand scheme of things one month isn't going to significantly change your fertility. You have been through a lot and letting yourself heal physically and emotionally is important.
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  • Also, you followed your doctor's advice.  That's probably the right move. you can never know what could have been. Just try to make peace with the fact that you don't have to stress the TWW and gear yourself up for next month.
    TTC #1
    me- 37, DH- 38
    Married 6.28.14, started TTC right away
    BFP Nov 2015, PPROM Feb 2016
    ER #1 May 2017, 15 retrieved, 10 fertilized, 3 day 5.
    ER#2 July 2017, 22 retrieved, 13 fertilized, 6 day 5/6
    9 embryos tested for pgs and pgd.  
    FET #1 9.29.17- 1 embryo-BFN
    FET#2 12.19.17- I embryo-BFP 1/1/18! Happy New Year to me! EDD 9/6/18
    Baby boy born 9.11.18- the love of my life!

  • very true, thank you for that.. it helps
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