DH and emotions

katekeil

I am pregnant for the first time with our DD. I have been very emotional and my DH is having a difficult time understanding and coping with my emotions. He seems to almost get annoyed or angry with my tears. He feels I am crying for no reason.. And he may be right but the emotions are there all the same. Any advice on how to help hubbys understand pregnancy emotions?

annatta79

Would he read a pregnancy book? I didn't get any for my husband b/c he wouldn't read them, but I've heard the Caveman's Pregnancy Companion is a good one. Outside of that, if your goal is for him to understand, you will probably be disappointed. What you can do is, in a non-emotional moment, explain to him that this isn't something you can control, it is going to continue for a while after the baby is born, and what you need from him. Either to just not say anything, to give you a hug, to refrain from commenting... whatever it is. Don't ask him to get it, he won't. Just give him ideas on how to respond.

jessicamj

During my first pregnancy my husband had an app on his phone that tracked baby development. It had new info each day based on my due date. Sometimes he was more informed than me and it had tips for how he could help support me both emotionally and physically. Just search pregnancy apps for dads.

mamameghan

It's a very tough situation and my hubby doesn't understand it either. Try not to get frustrated at each other and just wait it out. I just tell my husband to hold me and let me cry. Most guys want to swoop in a solve the problem but just make sure he knows there's usually no problem to solve. Ask him for patience and it all ends eventually!

klkonwi

Guys are genetically programmed to "fix" problems. I have to tell him straight up don't try to fix it! Just let me be upset about it!! Just keep being honest with him and tell him you reeeeaaallly need more support.

CateOfChicago

I agree with everything above but wonder how much you are crying. Maybe you need to talk to someone. I certainly cry at every commercial, sad or happy story, etc. All my crying is happy or silly and we laugh at it. It if more sad depression type crying maybe that can be helped. Just a thought. I hate to hear about a sad mama at this happy time.

aj1327

Well I cried last weekend because we ordered Thai food this weekend, and they left the chicken (ummm...key ingredient) out of my dish. My husband switched with me and I cried more because I felt bad that he didn't have chicken. Then when he looked at me like I was crazy, I informed him that I was pregnant and this was normal and he would know that if he'd read any of the damn books. Lol. You could take that approach.

Seriously though, I don't think they get it. I'm not a crier, so I even get frustrated with myself sometimes. I also agree with just talking to him about it and just letting him know you need support.

KaLikeAWind

jessicamj said:

During my first pregnancy my husband had an app on his phone that tracked baby development. It had new info each day based on my due date. Sometimes he was more informed than me and it had tips for how he could help support me both emotionally and physically. Just search pregnancy apps for dads.

I was talking about this thread with my DH and mentioned your reply, and DH went and found an app like that. He actually DID get a piece of info I hadn't learned yet! Way cool, and thanks for sharing this!

Jna0407

This past weekend DH was making jokes about the funny TMI moments I've had this pregnancy and the weird noises that have been coming out of me. At first I laughed because it was funny but then I started to sob and cry in between laughter because I realized he was making fun of me. He tried to control himself but he kept laughing at my reaction which made me continue crying. It was all harmless but he didn't understand that it upset me that he was making fun of something I couldn't control. They don't understand the hormonal changes because they don't experience them. Just talk to him and tell him that right now you're extra sensitive and to be more considerate of your feelings. Remind him this won't last forever. Don't worry, we are all on the same emotional roller coaster with you.

devyns2nd

MH is super supportive but, he doesn't do well with crying. IDK if its because he feels out of control or what, but I do know it doesn't make him mad at ME. He always gives me space and comes back and tells me it's just hormones. That being said, yes MH gets angry when I cry but, I know it's because he loves me and hates to see me cry. So what I want to know is, is that what you are experiencing or is he just plain selfish. If so that's not cool and you need to talk to him. If it is then try to understand he is overwhelmed by the way you're changing too.