Deciding who gets up at night

usmcwife89

is this an issue for anyone else? At first we decided we would take turns, alternating nights. I am home all day for 14-16 hours by myself taking care of LO but also working from home. DH is working for those 14-16 hours. He quickly decided to ignore LOs cries and I have been the only one getting up. I am angry at DH and more so frustrated because I am exhausted all the time and need help. But he doesn't listen and his sleep is more important :-/

cls78

My husband has been off since the babies were born and does night duty. We have been going to bed at midnight and there is usually 2 night feedings after midnight and then I get up around 6-7. I have such a hard time with nights, but I really need to practice, because when he goes back to work in the spring I will have to do more at nights.

kdhuling

Since I'm breastfeeding I generally am the only one to get up at night with him for feedings. Although once I know he's fed and happy I will often wake up DH to hold or rock him til he falls asleep so I can get back to bed sooner.

Dannylion24

My husband has over an hour highway commute each way to work (on top of a 12 hour workday) so it's just not safe for him to be making that drive while sleep deprived so I handle all night newborn dury, however he does help out w out our 16 month old if/when she gets up. We also have 2 older childrens who occasionally still pop awake, too. Perhaps you guys could do 'shifts' ... If your DH is more of a nightowl you could go to bed right at 8 or so after LO's early evening feeding and then DH could handle the 11pm/late evening feeding? That way you'll have solid sleep from 8 pm till the early morning feeding time? And your DH can have from 11pmish till he has to get up for work?

MammaWolf7

I handle more of the feeding because when my husband feeds our son he always ends up not burping and spitting up. He does get up with me and takes care of our son while I am getting a bottle and everything ready. It seems to work for us

GreenPony33

Since I'm breastfeeding I get up at night, Ii don't really see a reason for my husband to get up too,. That being said he is back to work and I am not yet so I can nap during the day if needed.  Even though he doesn't usually get up and out of bed though he says he's not getting good sleep. He will wake up and ask if i need anything.  What does help is that after our little ones last nightly feeding (between 830 and 10p) I'll go to bed and hubby stays up with LO until hes ready to eat again (usually between 1130/1230) so I am able to get a couple hrs of sleep then (probably only 2/3 hr stretch but its a good stretch of sleep lol

stefanie_cbc

DH and I have an arrangement where he does the last feeding of the day, usually around 10:30 pm and I go to bed early. Then I handle the 2-3 feedings in the middle of the night/early morning. Then DH takes care of DD when she wakes up which is around 7:30 am. It's working for us so far.

ConstanceGoodspeed

DH goes to work and I do not, so I get up. I love the late night snuggles and know how fleeting they are from my first, so I don't really mind. I also breastfeed and hate pumping.

usmcwife89

I'm so torn because I literally have had no rest since I had LO on the 5th. I guess we just have to find something that works for both of us. It's just harder than I had imagined

tee18

kdhuling said:

Since I'm breastfeeding I generally am the only one to get up at night with him for feedings. Although once I know he's fed and happy I will often wake up DH to hold or rock him til he falls asleep so I can get back to bed sooner.

This is us too. If dd is fighting going back to sleep, I wake dh up. He is still off work though too.

junebugjam

I have been the one getting up. My husband has to go back to work on Monday, so my attitude is that I better get used to it now. I'm also breastfeeding, so I would have to get up regardless.

My husband will stay up with him after his last feeding before bed (10:30-11ish) if he doesn't fall asleep on his own so that I can get some sleep, but I'm doubtful that will continue when he's back to work.

Alyllyra

usmcwife89 said:

I'm so torn because I literally have had no rest since I had LO on the 5th. I guess we just have to find something that works for both of us. It's just harder than I had imagined

I don't have an outside baby yet so I have no advice, but I really hope you can work it out and that you can get some sleep soon. (Hugs)

t8keepr03

I have night duty when my husband works all day. He

ConstanceGoodspeed said:

DH goes to work and I do not, so I get up. I love the late night snuggles and know how fleeting they are from my first, so I don't really mind. I also breastfeed and hate pumping.

I also love the late night snuggles. I get up with DS since DH has to go back to work Tuesday. If our 18 month old DD wakes up in the middle of the night DH will get her. Otherwise it's all me at night. When I go back to work we will alternate nights or feedings.

mle106

I'm breastfeeding so I take nights right now. It sucks, but no point in DH being up as well. When he does wake up, he'll change LO's diaper.

karisheep544

I'm breastfeeding so I get that all the time, but due to some setbacks (stitches got infected and pulled 2 stitches) DH does all the changes and burping so that I don't have to try to get out of bed at night. But, he goes back to work on Monday so who knows how that will work anymore....Good luck!!

katiebranz

I'm BFing so I get up all the time. DH has been doing the diaper and burping after eating so I can get to sleep sooner. He also takes the 8pm -10:30ish shift so I can go to bed for a little but before the night feedings. If I don't take advantage of this, I really hate myself around 2am.

mommaa1615

We've been trying to get in a routine but no luck. My hubby has off for 3 weeks then hes back to 12hr shifts plus an hour commute also a rotating schedule of days/nights. Once hes back he will need his sleep & I will basically have him for 2 hours tops..so im dreading that. In the mean time weve been taking shifts someone stays up 12-6 then switch for 6-noon. Its been so much better getting 6 solid hours while we can.

mperez95

kdhuling said:

Since I'm breastfeeding I generally am the only one to get up at night with him for feedings. Although once I know he's fed and happy I will often wake up DH to hold or rock him til he falls asleep so I can get back to bed sooner.

Same routine here.. Works for me. It gives the both of us our fair share of night duties

DHarpster

I'm breastfeeding but I also pump. I'm a SAHM mom so week nights it's all me but Friday evening I feed her till her midnight feeding and then my SO feeds her the next 2 feedings so I can sleep. That's when I get to catch up on sleep and gear up for the week to come. My SO gets awfully cranky if he doesn't sleep enough so I'm good with the once a week deal.

Nydert16

I am also breastfeeding, so I let my husband sleep. He drives a truck so not getting sleep isn't safe for him at work. We however have been blessed with a good sleeper she sleeps about 3.5/4 hours at a time. I am still off work so it doesn't really bother me. He does help on the weekends with burping and rocking her back to sleep. I guess we will need a new plan when I end up going back to work. Good luck!!