Daycare issue...

alisonc87

So, I work at the daycare my LO goes to, in the same classroom (I am the supervisor). She is 6 months old and very attached to just me. Because of that I have been making an effort to give others an opportunity to respond to her needs first, and only taking over if that doesn't work. So far one of my staff has gotten to bond with her significantly more, but the other has not.

That being said, here is the issue:
I was in the office with the door open with the staff member DD likes. We left the door open in case they needed an extra hand. In the classroom there were 3 babies (3-6 months) and 2 older toddlers (both 2.5), along with the regular staff member and a sub. 2 babies were being held and mine was on the floor playing (Which was of course fine). My LO began to fuss for a few minutes, and I said to the other girl in the office that I was going to give it a minute to give her a chance to go to the other staff. Over the course of about 7 minutes it escalated from fussing, to crying, to screaming. I peeked through the 2 way mirror to check on it and the 2 babies being held were not crying, eating, or almost asleep. The sub tried to soothes her by moving closer and giving her a toy and talking to her, but it didn't work. The regular sub sat in the rocking chair with the other baby, and never moved or gave guidance to the sub to set the other baby down and pick her up (this is a brand new sub, so I completely understand her following the full time staff's lead). I finally went out because she started sound like she was about to throw up because she was crying so hard. When I went out she just said, "oh look, mommy's going to come save you." I was so livid I didn't address it in the moment, but I took the baby in the office and stayed for a while to cool down. I know that it isn't just because it was my kid because I would have been mortified had it been someone else's baby and the mother had walked in and seen it. I don't think it would happen if it were someone else's child, and I don't want my child to get a lower quality of care from her just because I am there. How far should I take this. Part of me thinks it is the fair thing to do to talk to her first, but another part of me wants to go to my supervisor and talk to her first. Maybe I could have gone out sooner, but they were completely within child:staff ratio, and I didn't think it was far fetched to think that one of them could set down a content baby to pick up a distressed one.

Abenedict2011

I'm so sorry. Your baby or not I'd hope no one would leave any child distressed on the floor. I believe I would address it directly to the person first as an employee but also mention your concerns to the supervisor. You have responsibilities as an employee but also rights as a mother too!

VOR

So the worker does nothing to deal with a crying baby after a few MINUTES, then when youwalk in - who just happens to be the mom- she makes that comment?  I'd be PISSED.  And yes- I 'd talk to my boss first just to give some guidance and make sure I keep my thoughts professional.

That situation tells me that the one worker has an issue about you working there and your child being in the room.

mommymegan831

When I have an issue or concern I usually go to the director 1st.  Although it may be more responsible to talk directly to the teacher, I don't want any conflicts with my children's care takers so I hope it can be taken care of anonymously, depending on the issue.  It might be easier for your boss to make a general reminder or review procedures rather than you take up your personal issue.

It seems like this may be a sticky situation.  Are you the supervisor of the daycare or the infant room?  Maybe you can be moved to another room.  I'm sure it's alot of pressure for the employees to not only have their supervisor in the room with them but also to be taking care of their supervisor's child while you observe them.  The daycare I worked at when I was in college did not allow moms to be the teacher of their child's class.  My SIL was my nephew's preschool teacher and it worked for them.  I just think it might be easier for everyone if there was a little more distance

alisonc87

I am the supervisor in the classroom. I think the issue she has comes from the fact that DD is EXTREMELY attached to me, and has bonded with the other teacher, but not to her.

Changing classrooms is not so much an option for the fact that we have just 1 preschool and 1 infant/toddler room. Also, I am breastfeeding so it is convenient to be in her classroom. I am able to nurse twice, and just bottle feed once, so rather than pumping at work, I pump once or twice at night to make up for it. It has been much easier on all of us in the classroom to not have to plan pumping breaks. (Although if we needed to, we would not even bat an eye about it.) Even if logistically I could be in another classroom, I would struggle with that. DD will take a bottle from others, but only if I am there. She really struggles with being a part from me, and there are some social/emotional things going on with her (Our mental health consultant and pediatrician both believe it is attributed to a high level of stress at the end of my pregnancy, and recommend a high degree of attachment parenting techniques), that make her very high need, and life is better for everyone if she can see or crawl to me.

I think I will talk with her directly first and then discuss with my supervisor what the next steps will be (should it be written up, etc.). Out of courtesy to her I think it is probably only fair to be direct with her. I only wish I had done it in the moment. Thanks for the input and help!