Terrible 2 help-long

Sunkiss028

So my toddler is officially in terrible twos and has been for a couple of months. I just need some advice. There are days when he is just fine but lately in the morning as we are getting ready he refuses to get dressed, brush teeth, get coat on, etc. I know this is fairly normal, but he kicks, screams and throws a big fit almost no cue. The mornings he doesn't then he acts out when we get to daycare-throwing a fit, screaming, waking up her kids, etc. I just don't know how to handle it. He knows how to push my buttons, but seems to listen much better to our daycare lady and my husband. Its like he knows I am pregnant (and emotional) and tries to take advantage of me. Its not only embarrasing when it happens (and happens out at stores/restaurants too) but its frustrating. I Feel like I can't control him during these times and I almost always break down (hello emotions!). I just have a feeling if we can't control him at daycare and her days start like this everyday she will give us the boot. She has gotten to the point where she just tells me to leave (she can tell it upsets me) and she takes care of him, he gets calmed down in 5 min after I leave).He has never been like this just hte past few months. He is very stubborn and reacts in such ways when he doesn't get his way. Any suggestions, advise or experience?

Will also post on parenting board too. Thanks for any suggestions.

beb4beb

What about asking your DS if he wants the red or blue tooth brush, or asking if he wants to give you a hug or a high five when you leave daycare?

Sunkiss028

beb4beb:

What about asking your DS if he wants the red or blue tooth brush, or asking if he wants to give you a hug or a high five when you leave daycare?

We have given him choices like that for things and it doesn't matter...once his mind is made up that he is throwing a fit he throws one. Plus trying to ask him over all his screaming is a hard feat in itself. one tracked mind I guess. Thanks for the idea.

dedl

let him choose from choices that you can live with either one.  This shirt or that shirt...Tell him about all the fun stuff he will see outside birds, snowplow, ect. to get him to put on his coat.

musicteacher225@yahoo.com

We talked to our pedi about this, because our 15 month old seems to have hit this stage earlier than he should.  She suggested that when he throws fits--though it is embarrassing and hard to handle--to just ignore him and pretend you're not bothered.  She said calmly say that you don't like his behavior and then don't act like what he is doing is getting to you.  I know it's tough, and I really know that it is hard to handle when you are already emotional.    Also, we have decided that we are not going out too much with DS right now as he seems happiest with his toys at home.  It WILL pass--it just seems like it takes FOREVER!!    Hope things get better!!! 

dedl

it is ok if he gets fustrated sometimes.  Just backoff and take a few mins. 

Dec31stBride

If you're a good wrestler, I'd be inclined to ignore the kicking and screaming and just go about business. Or, you could always bring him to daycare in his pjs and make a big deal about the other kids in clothes....Unfortunately, seems like it might only get worse before better as the next baby will be here soon.

Freddie'sMommy

I had the joy of my son throwing a fit at the pedi.  And she gave me a lecture.  She told me to 1 make sure he is in a safe place and let him have it.  That if he throws something on the floor or anything gets messed from his fit I was to tell him to pick it up.  She said that after a few weeks of being stern that he will learn that he can not behave in the manner he was and that it will lessen.  I thought she was nuts and a little harsh after all he had a tantrum because he is terrified of the doctor.  But then next time he did that I followed her advice and it seems to have worked.  My husband refuses to listen to me, and Freddie controls my husband.  Finally due to illness and having 99% of child duties this winter break he realized he has to be a little tougher.  She also suggested 2 minutes of time out now that he is 2.  She said any earlier it really will not be understood by my son.

 

As for getting frustrated if you walk away when they are having their tantrum trying to exert their independence you should take that few minutes to yourself to breathe and decompress (I know tought with a screaming toddler). 

Sunkiss028

Thank you all very much, I appreciate your suggestions and will take them to heart. Its nice knowing others have had some experience with this....somedays it feels like it is just my kid doing this (though I know it isn't true!).