What would you do?

DolphinsGirl1

I previously posted about my baby being in the NICU. Everyday SO and I have been visiting him a few times per day. A few of the nurses have told us that once he is able to come home, not to have visitors for 6 weeks due to his immune system being weak fighting off infection. There are so many people out of our friends and family that have not seen him yet due to him being in the NICU since the night I had him. As soon as we bring him home they all want to come visit. How do I tell people that they cannot visit? I don't want to be "those parents" that block him off from the world, but the nurses are saying it would be best for him. This is going to cause a ton of upset. What would you do in a situation like this?

usmcwife89

If his immune system is worse than a typical newborn from being in the NICU because of infection.. I would do as they suggest and NOT let others around him for the 6 weeks. You have to protect him now, just as any parent of a newborn. Any newborn who is 6 weeks old or less, and gets a fever over a certain temp, automatically goes to the NICU, has a spinal tap done, amongst other tests. Illness to newborns under 6 weeks old can be deadly. Protect your child as the nurses are suggesting.

StephanieLBerg

usmcwife89 said:

If his immune system is worse than a typical newborn from being in the NICU because of infection.. I would do as they suggest and NOT let others around him for the 6 weeks. You have to protect him now, just as any parent of a newborn. Any newborn who is 6 weeks old or less, and gets a fever over a certain temp, automatically goes to the NICU, has a spinal tap done, amongst other tests. Illness to newborns under 6 weeks old can be deadly. Protect your child as the nurses are suggesting.

This!!!!!!! People can be upset and pissed at you all they want. No amount of guilt tripping and anger from my friends and family would EVER make me think twice about compromising the health and safety of my newborn baby. If the doctors and nurses are telling you 'no visitors for 6 weeks' then that's what you do! Everyone else can get happy or leave. Honestly, I don't understand how this is even a question in your mind....


Edit: Spelling

hawynne

Just think if something were to happen to your little one because you thought "oh it's just so and so" ..... You'd never forgive yourself. If you have pets, have a friend watch them for you. Let your parents come to the front window of your house so they can at least see the new little guy if they must. I'd be telling everyone to piss off until we got the all-clear from the doc. And by god, everyone had better respect your decision to protect your newborn or I would be divorcing family members left and right!

yoursincelery

What everyone else said, to a T. Get mean if you have to, mama bear. This is bigger than ignorant family members getting their panties in a twist.

t8keepr03

What everyone else said. I would just send photos and warn everyone now that once you get home you can't have visitors for 6 weeks. I also would never leave the house in fear of getting germs. If DH got sick he would not be staying the house either. I already am so afraid of my 18 month old bringing home something since she is still going to daycare. I would be even more afraid and mean mama bear if I was in your shoes!

DolphinsGirl1

I would never put my child in danger. EVER. I do plan on staying in the house at all times. I am just not a confrontational person, and I know there will be a lot of upset people. But you all are correct. This is what is best for my baby and God forbid something happen I will never forgive myself. I just didn't want to become a mean person, but I guess if that's what I have to do, then so be it! My child is more important than anyone else.

jdzevans

I would hope that explaining the nurses and doctors recommendation of no visitors for health reasons would be good enough for most friends and family. I have a few unreasonable family members myself, so I know it can be tough but you'll just have to put your foot down in this situation. Also, make sure SO is backing you up so you don't feel alone in making this decision. Maybe offering up lots of facetime or skype calls will help so they can see baby - hey it's better than nothing. Good luck!!!

anxiousmommy85

Offer to Skype and set up a "coming out" or christening week celebration for 6 weeks down the road. Your friends and family will understand the need for caution and have something to look forward to.

Beth.1212

I'd probably send out mass email updates with pics periodically to make people feel like they weren't totally missing her first 6 weeks. In the first, I'd explain the situation and let people know that you cannot have visitors for at least 6 weeks. Any attempt at scheduling a visit would be met with suggestions of days 6-8 weeks out. Anyone that pushed for sooner would be met with, "I'm sorry, that's not possible." If they started harassing me for a sooner visit, I'd stop responding to their emails / taking their calls till after the 6 weeks. If anyone had the audacity to just show up at the house, I probably wouldn't answer the door. 

GL dealing with any eager visitors! Here's hoping that everyone is understanding and stays away voluntarily. 

DolphinsGirl1

So far everyone has been pretty understanding. He came home as of yesterday and it seems people are letting us have our time we said we needed. Thank you for all your advice everyone! He's doing great!