Military wife. Pregnant and alone.

cvweist

Hello everyone. I am only in my first trimester and I am struggling. This is my first child after years of trying with my husband. At first I was happy. But I found out I was not his only one. There are multiple women and supposed pregnancies. Devastated as is, he's filing for divorce. I know I wasn't perfect but much is blamed on me. I am having so much trouble coping. I feel my sadness will end up making me lose what I have been praying for for many years. I do try to get happy. I just feel so unloved and alone. I know I just shared a lot. My world revolved around him. I don't have many to turn to.

hrossi253

I'm sorry that you are going through this! His failings are not your fault! That is going to be hard to believe right now, but you need to stand up and be strong for your baby! Is there a counselor or therapist you can talk to? Also, do you have family or friends that you can stay with/talk to? You need to gather a support group for yourself! You are NOT alone, you have a little baby who is going to love you unconditionally and who is counting on you. I would definitely find a support group or someone to talk to who you can bounce your feelings off of. You shouldn't keep this bottled up! Good luck!!!

cvweist

@hrossi253‌ Thank you. I am looking to find people to support. I do feel so very foolish for many things. I have not spoken to therapists because I am embarrassed of all the red flags I saw and stayed and supported his career without really getting to accomplish things in my life. I know I have to be stronger. A LOT stronger. I know I can not continue to let him and this situation destroy me. I know I have a long road. Thank you for taking the time to respond.

KaLikeAWind

Coastie wife here. It's a shame this bad stuff is happening to you at this time in your life. I agree to try and find yourself some support, since you are still married to the guy you still have access to the military family resources like their clergymen or whoever does the family counseling for your base / area. I'm not religious myself, but I've found a lot of those guys are real mellow and have a calming air about them. They may be able to point you in the direction of some support groups in your area. Also, a friend of mine (Navy wife) went thru this. Her hubby cheated with a fellow service person and basically told her it was her fault, etc. Only difference is she wasn't pregnant. Not to be all vindictive and 'go get him' but its in their service contract not to commit adultery. Use the leverage that allows you to get the support you need (financial, etc). If he made a mess then he should be responsible for it, and his service contract is a way to hold him to that. Some may say its kind of a dick move, but cheating on you with multiple other women and having multiple other pregnancies is a dick move, so whatever, IMO. I know that my 1st step would be to call CG legal (whatever service he's in has some legal support arm) and see what my rights are.

YoungDuo

I'm sorry you are going through this. I cannot imagine the hurt and betrayal you are feeling. I agree, you need to see a counselor/therapist. Also like someone else posted, adultery is very frowned upon in the military. While it is usually hard to prove, if there are other pregnancies, you will have plenty of leverage against him. A couple other things--if he cheated on you with another service member that knew he was married, she can be found guilty of adultery. Also, the Army (I assume all branches are the same in this scenario) does not recognize legal separation--meaning in your separation papers if you both agree that it is ok to date other people, the Army (military--I would double check if he is in a different branch) will still hold him liable and he can still be found guilty of adultery during your separation period until your divorce is finalized. I hope you get some help and things work out for you.

cvweist

@YoungDuo‌ @mellymar‌ First off, your support is appreciated. I definitely do not think letting the military rip him a new asshole in whatever way possible is a dick move. I feel many things but just walking away from this ultimate disrespect is not one of them. I did wipe my tears enough to start inquiring about what can and can not be done in this situation on the military side and I will definitely be finding out how the civilian side can help me. My big girl panties are on and now I'm in searching for whatever I need like a damn detective. CYBER HUGGIES!

jorabel

Hello..a navy wife here.. Sorry to heat what happened to you.. But i agree with the comments above.. Be strong and find a helpful company.. Maybe reconnect with old friends and families... And while you are on the process of repairing yourself, research on the legal moves they allow in the military regarding to what happened..

realmamma

Im srry u are going through this im a navy wife and veteran of the navy and adultry is very frowned upon and he will b blackballed at work. Low evals and mast if navy im not sure whatvother branches use. But he will definitely be put on the spot in front of his whole chain of command. Praying for u and ur LO stay strong.

spank705

Your baby will give you joy! Stay strong and push on.