Am I going to regret it?

lovermyboys

Ok so for our first DS we have my DH brother and sister as his godparents. They are not involved in his life at all. They do not see him regularly or ask how he is doing. They barely attend his birthday parties and if they do happen to show up they leave early. It really pisses me off but then to make myself feel better I honestly think, what is the big deal with Godparenta anyways. I was raised Catholic and think it was imbedded in my head that I had to give my son them. So now with this baby my DH and I are really considering not having any at all he sees what deadbeats his sister and brother are and there is just no one that I really care to have. If I did decide to ask someone it would be a half ass choice because I have no better choice. Is it ok to not have any God parents at all? And if anyone asks me why this baby doesn't have any I will just say because all of the Godparents I know are worthless and pointless.

gotdiesel2007

None of my kids have god parents, neither do I. I've made it so far and so have my kids.

Chellz0684

I was only 18 when I had my daughter. Because I had God parents I thought that's what you were supposed to do. The ppl I chose for God parents for my daughter are totally out of my daughter's life. They could careless. Haven't seen them in years. And with choosing those 2 ppl. I hurt alot of other ppl's feelings. So with this baby I don't plan on choosing God parents.

k3taeko

I don't have godparents and neither will my kids. Pretty sure my husband doesn't have any godparents either..

grlplz

I doubt you'll really regret it or anything. I was also "raised" Catholic so with our first DS my sister and DHs brother were godparents. Our second DS technically doesn't have any just because my brother is in the Air Force so trying to get a baptism scheduled around deployments was hard but my brother and my cousin were supposed to be godparents. That being said if anything were to happen to DH and myself my sister or brother would take my babies. DHs brother sounds a lot like your BIL and is a deadbeat with his own children let alone mine and I do not trust him to keep my children safe. Not sure who or if I would do godparents for this LO yet but I doubt I'll lose sleep over it. As long as you have a plan for your babies if something were to happen to you and your DH who cares about the formalities.

Mamamads

None of my children have godparents because we aren't religious nor do we believe in baby purgatory or whatever it is baptism is trying to avoid. That being said I do recommend picking someone who you would trust your children to if something were to happen to you/dh and notate this is a will asap. A lot of people think they are one in the same but they aren't.

lovermyboys

@Mamamads‌ do you have a will? And if so how did you go about doing it? It has been on my to do list and haven't got around to it but I know I need to. My babies would 100% go to my sister not be split up between Godparents anyways. She knows this too but I should make it legal in the case that something would happen. Oh this topic makes me sad/anxious/nervous

coopmke

Am I missing something?!... Since when do godparents = who would take your child if something happening to both parents?

God parents are identified in baptism as spiritual leaders which is why it is related to the church.... it has no legal bearing. anything to do with the legalities of who would care for the child in extreme circumstances needs to be identified in a will.

ChristyM87

coopmke said:

Am I missing something?!... Since when do godparents = who would take your child if something happening to both parents?

God parents are identified in baptism as spiritual leaders which is why it is related to the church.... it has no legal bearing. anything to do with the legalities of who would care for the child in extreme circumstances needs to be identified in a will.

There is another thread about this going on right now. Basically there are two types of godparents, those for religious reasons and those for legal custodial reasons

lovermyboys

@coopmke‌, no we are not choosing Godparents so if something happens to be and my DH someone can take baby. I am just saying the ones we have for our DS are shit and I don't see the point in picking two more that will be more shit for this baby. I feel confident in myself as a mother and my husband as a father I think it is a title thing and people annoy me

Ckorines

My daughters godparents are two of the most important people in her life. They make it a point to visit her, spend quality time with her and spoil her. They are also the people we have as her legal guardians if something were to happen to us. From what I understand, godparents roles are to be spiritual leaders and role models for our children. There are no other legalities behind it.

lovermyboys

@Ckorines‌
Well lucky you, you know cool people and I don't. And I KNOW that these people have no legal obligations to my baby. I KNOW they are a spiritual guider. I just don't know anyone that is worthy of being a Godparent to my baby. Sorry for being bitchy everyone just keeps bringing up the legal matter and I know that.

ipumpkin

I'm going to say calm down a little...people are just trying to help and if you know, then you know - it's no big deal, there is no reason to get defensive... You ask a question and everyone tries to cover all bases....

I'm not sure I would go about saying all the GP you know are worthless and pointless, I'd rather say, if anyone is so nosey to ask, that I just chose to go a different route instead of being offensive to everyone. ;\ that's just me tho.

lovermyboys

@ipumpkin‌
I know... Sorry crazy pregnant lady mode came out of me. I appreciate all of you and your opinions. I really do

kladd7182

lovermyboys said:

@Mamamads‌ do you have a will? And if so how did you go about doing it? It has been on my to do list and haven't got around to it but I know I need to. My babies would 100% go to my sister not be split up between Godparents anyways. She knows this too but I should make it legal in the case that something would happen. Oh this topic makes me sad/anxious/nervous

we have a will. We went to a lawyer to have it done, and it cost about $5,000. We did it mostly to protect our kids, even though they have God Parents. God parents are more for their spiritual upbringing, not so much in the event you die they get them. In the event my husband and I pass at the same time my mother gets all of our children. If she is unable to care for them it states my older brother is to get them. Both parties know, and Okayed this, it's a big responsibility, and you shouldn't suprise the potential caregivers. Also, I made sure to write down all my kids medications/doses, made copies of birth certificates and social security cards, wrote down names phone numbers addresses of doctors and specialists. I made sure my mom knows the calendar always has all the kids appointments on it, she knows where to safe is with all important documents pertaining to my family is including my bank information and gave her the combination. In the event something does happen, I don't want it to be a mad scramble to find everything. Most importantly her and my brother have a copy of the will, so no one else can try and take the kids away from them.

twindlej

Godparents for legal custodial reasons are really guardians not Godparents and need to be stated in a legally binding will with agreement from said gaurdian.
The term Godparent is a person or persons that are dedicated to help raise your child in God. To help spuritually guide your child. If you aren't religious then there is no reason for Godparents.

Julz81

My son's godparents really don't have much to do with him anymore. My daughter's godparents are my grandparents that passed away within a year and halh after she was born. We knew it would happened with my grandparents but with them being strict catholics it was such an honor to her and meant the world to her. This boy will also have godparents but not sure who yet.

Ckorines

lovermyboys said:

@Ckorines‌
Well lucky you, you know cool people and I don't. And I KNOW that these people have no legal obligations to my baby. I KNOW they are a spiritual guider. I just don't know anyone that is worthy of being a Godparent to my baby. Sorry for being bitchy everyone just keeps bringing up the legal matter and I know that.

Wow! You sound so pleasant. You asked for advice and I shared mine. Sorry it wasn't the answer you were looking for. We are all pregnant here and I manage to still not be an asshole the people who are trying to help me. Good luck. Hope you find the answer you are looking for!