Secondary IF

Having mixed feelings about timing

It sounds trivial at this point but I'm kind of freaking out about the timing of all this.  DD's original due date was Jan 24, 2011 but she was born early by c-section on Dec 30, 2010 due to preterm labor, double kidney infection, and being breech.  I really struggle with the fact that she is born so close to Christmas and there are 2 other family birthdays in December, one of which is the day after hers.  I am always depressed in December and have a hard time coping with the craziness of life around that time.  Everyone is always sick and exhausted after all the holiday stuff.  I never want her to feel like her birthday is not special or important.

So here we are now, hoping to be pregnant soon which will put our due date somewhere in December if the FET works next month.  I know that so many things go into it and we might not even get pregnant soon but even if it doesn't work next month and works in April, we could have a repeat early birth in December anyway.  I really don't want to put getting pregnant off any longer but I'm really stressing over this.  Someone tell me it will be okay.  Someone tell me that I'm just hormonal and freaking out.  I know that I want another baby so badly that this shouldn't matter but I still feel guilty about my daughter's birth date four years later.
Clomid/IUI #1 Feb 2010- BFN
Clomid/IUI #2 Mar 2010 - BFP April 2010 DD born Dec 2010 :-)
Started TTC #2 Dec 2011 
IUI #3-5 Aug thru Oct 2014 - BFN
HSG revealed one blocked tube but was unblocked during procedure
IUI #6 and 7 Nov/Dec 2014 - BFN
IVF #1 Feb 2015 - 19 eggs retrieved, ZERO fertilized initially, 2 fertilized with rescue ICSI, then 2 more then following day, all 4 frozen
FET #1 planned for mid-March

Re: Having mixed feelings about timing

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  • If you wait for the perfect time that day will never come.
    I overthink everything too, so I know how you're feeling!
    Try to relax! (Easier said than done)

    Two years, two losses and three IUIs...

    We are having TRIPLETS!

    EDD 1/26/16

     GGB born November 2015!

  • Perfectly said @annibes‌
    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

  • @annibes‌ stated this perfectly. This whole process messes with your emotions, thoughts, plans, lives. As a controlling perso n, I too grappled with the total lack of control getting mentally caught up with seemingly trivial factors in hopes of gaining some control or tricking myself into thinking I have a say in this. Do you believe in a higher power or are you religious? While this won't work for everyone, I have been working really hard on "giving it to God". It helps keep me from being all caught up emotionally.
    DS: Born November 2011
    TTC #2 since April '13
    DH 35, Me: 34
    DX: Unexplained Secondary Infertility, Slight DOR
    Sept 14 - IUI (Clomid + Ovidrel) = BFN
    Oct 14 - IUI (Clomid + Ovidrel + Progesterone) = BFN
    Nov 14- Benched due to cysts Looking for New Doc
    Feb - IUI #3 (Letrozole + Ovridrel)
    March/April - IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol - Follistim+HGH+Low Dose HCG - 11R/9M/5F - 2 8 cell 3dtransfer - BFN on April 23, 2014

  • @annibes you said that so beautifully!  I have really been struggling with the ever increasing spacing between my DD and any siblings that may come.  I am almost out of chances to have a baby in 2015 meaning that more than likely my DD will be 5+ years old if there is ever another one.  I really need to stop worrying about that because in reality it doesn't matter does it? 
    Me: 34 DH: 36 
    DD#1 04/28/11

    TTC#2 since April 2012 - Unexplained Secondary IF (probably PCOS)
    Dec 13-March 14 Femara and TI - BFN
    April 2014 IUI#1 (Femara + Ovidrel) - BFN
    June 2014 IUI#2 (Femara + Ovidrel) - BFP 7/9/14 - No HB on 8/13/14 @ 8w4d
    Nov 2014 IUI#3 (Femara + Ovidrel) - BFFN
    Jan 2015 IUI#4 (Femara + Ovidrel) - BFN
    Feb 2015 IUI#5 Converted to TI (7.5mg Femara) - BFP 3/17/15!!!
    Beta #1 82, Beta #2 202 Please let this be it.
  • I had planned to have "twins" again with our only two frozen embryos from IVF/ICSI #1 in winter 2012.

    I was so naïve then thinking embryos frozen = babies.

    Now hoping for 2016, maybe?????

    H: 34 dx Azoospermia due to CBAVD from CF  
    ME: 39 IS FINE!!!  DOR and poor AMH/FSH/LH
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #1 Beta 1 373 Beta 2 1783 BOY/GIRL TWINS!! Born April 2010!!
    Natural FET 5/26/12 2 blasts Beta 1 207 Beta 2 513 Beta 3 1377 U/S 6/28 Pregnancy not viable d & c scheduled :( 
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #2 ER 11/15/12 Nothing to transfer :( 
    IVF/ICSI #3 April 2013 MDLF 3dt of 3 embryos, chemical :(  
    IVF #4/ICSI/MESA/CCS/FET EPP April 2015
    ODWU CCRM with Dr. Sch COMPLETE!!!! Put on acai supplement they are studying for DOR and embryo quality.
    DAY 3 Labs Drawn 2/26 put on vitamin D and calcium supplements
    Regroup and Protocol Reveal 3/04 "Bazooka Protocol" EPP with MDLF "Protocol 6 with patches"
    ER/MESA 4/10 ER 9 eggs retrieved MESA success found live swimmers :)
    Fertilization Report 6 eggs mature and ICSI'd 4 eggs fertilized normally
    Day 6 Report to Blast for CCS 4/16: 2 DAY 5 BLASTS BIOPSIED FOR CCS a 4AB and a 3AB!!!!
    CCS Results BOTH BLASTS CCS NORMAL!!!!!!  call on 4/24
    Regroup call to discuss CCS results and FET call on 5/20
    FET prep: CD 1 6/08 CD 3 Start BCP 6/10, HSG 6/12 Lupron Start 10 iu 6/17 End BCP 6/21 CD 1 6/23!!!
    Start vivelle patches 6/25 change e/o/d reduce Lupron to 5iu 6/25 Blood Draw 7/01, 7/08, 7/15, 7/19
    Increase vivelle patches 7/03 2 change e/o/d and 7/05 change e/o/d 3 and 7/07 4 change e/o/d add vaginal estrace 2x a day
    Lining Check/Blood Draw 7/08 and 7/15 End Lupron 7/18  Start PIO 1ml daily 7/18  Blood  Draw 7/19
    Flight to clinic 7/22
    FET 2 CCS BLASTS :):)  7/23 :):) YES YES both thawed and both fully expanded :):)
    7/26 :):) 3dp5dt PM very very faint positive FRER
    7/27: 4dp5dt Neg Digi AM but very very faint positive FRER PM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 1-2 :):) 
    7/31:8dp5dt AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 2-3!!!! :):) 
    Beta 1 8/01= 408!!!!!!!!!! at 9dp5dt FET
    Beta 2 8/03 = 1014!!!!!!!!!! at 11dp5dt FET
    8/05/2015 AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 3+!!!! :):) 
    First Ultrasound: 8/20!!!!!! TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Genetics says BOTH BOYS!!!!!!!!!
    Second Ultrasound: 9/03!!!!!!!!!!


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