Severe separation anxiety

Stuuuaaart

My daughter is 2.5 years old. She has always be clingy to me but it has gotten progressively worse since January. She started pre school 2 days a week. She has no problem when I drop her off and really enjoys being there. However, since she started school she is crying hysterically for me at bedtime. Sometimes for hours with us going in there several times to calm her down. She will do this until 10 pm sometimes. It's exhausting and we are at our wits end with it. We assume it's because she has separation anxiety from me as she doesn't even like when I am away from her to go shower. We're stumped, exhausted and frustrated by the situation. Plus we feel terrible that she is so emotional and worked up, like this. Is this just a phase, is it normal separation amiety stuff? Any insight is welcome.

<3 Matt

We recently started our son in preschool but decided he wasn't ready yet (crying the ENTIRE time he was there and issues with the teacher).  Right after he started, he would cry every time I'd leave the house.  I'd leave him home with daddy but he would still cry until I returned (only a quick Walmart trip, etc.)  We assumed that it was due to leaving him at preschool.  He seems to be getting better but I agree that it might be due to her new school experience. 

On a positive note - that's awesome that she enjoys preschool.  I would say to give it time, she'll get better as time goes by and she gets a little older.  I'd just give the extra cuddles that she needs, soon enough she won't want you around.  ;-)   

Danni7535

I only have one kid, so I'm no expert either.  I'm a firm believer in the adage- sleep begets sleep.  Is she taking a nap at preschool?  I've always found that if my child skips his nap, then bedtime is torture and he cries because he's overtired.  If he misses his nap at daycare, then I'll try to put him to bed at least 20-30 minutes earlier, which usually helps him fall asleep easily.  However, I have noticed that when he misses nap, he wakes a few times during the night. 

My only other thought is that if she cries, do you go into the room to console her?  Maybe she's just learned it's away to get attention. When  my kid cries in the middle of the night, I'll sit next to his bed, but I try not to engage him (I'll pat his back, but I avoid eye contact and talking, etc.).  I let him know that I'm there, but I don't do anything that extra that could turn into an expected routine.  For instance, I won't pick him up in the middle of the night when he's crying because I don't want him to expect that as the new norm.

Stuuuaaart

Thanks ladies but I think we have a bigger problem here I'm just not sure what. For the last few months she is just totally unable to sleep. Initially it was refusal to sleep. Now she's fling asleep right away and waking I'm hysyerics around 1130 at night and it almost inconsolable. Then once we calm her down she starts chatting like it's morning. I am so frustrated. I don't have a clue what to do. We have tried CIO but she gets so overworked up and will cry for hours. I have sat next to her without acknowledging her or making eye contact. Literally nothing works. Ugh...

bowlngirl

I feel for you.  I am having the same issues with my 8 mo old.  Last night it was a 2 1/2 hour screaming fit.  She only sleeps for maybe 2 hours at a time at night.  After I initially put her to bed she refuses to sleep in her crib the rest of the night.  She will cry and scream until she gets picked up.  She also doesn't nap during the day unless she is being held.  I am at a total loss as to what to do.  Being a single mom and only getting 3 hours of interupted sleep a night and working full time is taking a toll.

Ya Never Know

Stuuuaaart said:

Thanks ladies but I think we have a bigger problem here I'm just not sure what. For the last few months she is just totally unable to sleep. Initially it was refusal to sleep. Now she's fling asleep right away and waking I'm hysyerics around 1130 at night and it almost inconsolable. Then once we calm her down she starts chatting like it's morning. I am so frustrated. I don't have a clue what to do. We have tried CIO but she gets so overworked up and will cry for hours. I have sat next to her without acknowledging her or making eye contact. Literally nothing works. Ugh...

Is it possible that she's having bad dreams? If you ask her will she tell you? DD used to wake up in hysterics once in a while, and that's what it was. Once we would calm her down, we'd ask her if she had a bad dream, and she would say yes. We would then explain to her what it was and tell her to go back to sleep, and she would. A lot of times, they have one bad experience with something and they can hang on to it for a while.