HELP! Am I being selfish?

xooemilyrose

After no contact from BD since I was 3 months pregnant I want absolutely NOTHING to do with the sperm donor of my son. When I was 5 months I found out my son unfortunately has a severe congenital heart defect and will need to life saving open heart surgeries beginning just a few days after birth. I left voicemails and contacted BDs family in case he'd want the chance to be involved in the birth and hospital visits I've already gone through for my sons condition. Him and his family refuse to acknowledge me and the baby. Apparently I heard it's because he doesn't want to get attached if it's not his.... BULL! He knows it's his. We were together over a year! Anyways, I don't want him around. Obviously I'm much better off without him but is that selfish for my son? Also, my sons father now has a new gf who is now pregnant and I just rather have nothing to do with that drama considering the seriousness of my sons fatal life condition as is. Am I being crazy?

Sorry so long.

20thirteen

That wasn't long at all.

You are not being selfish.  You reached out. That's really all you can do aside from a paternity test.  Are you planning on doing that?  Anyway, you need to focus on your son's health.  Don't stress because that won't help your baby.  Separate yourself from the bullshit.  Whatever goes on between him and his new girlfriend, him and his family, and just him in general is no longer anything to concern yourself with. Let them be the asshats they're being, they're the selfish ones for rejecting this little boy.  Don't ever for one minute believe that you're being the selfish one unless you are going out of your way to keep your son from his father/father's family. That was their choice. 

brandyann15

I don't believe you're being selfish at all. I am 5 months pregnant and my BDO was very excited when I told him, I was concerned because we broke up (not in a good way) before I found out. Then after announcing it on Facebook and finding out I did not want to continue a romantic relationship he decided he didn't believe it was his. He had a new relationship immediately after we broke up and couldn't remember if we were really together or not when I conceived and fully believes sperm has an unending life span so if you ask him it could be anyone's and he also doesn't want to get attached just in case. I have no question. Last time he contacted me he was hoping to hook up and asked nothing about the baby although he knew I had just had a fetal echo done at Stanford University, no you're not being selfish at all. I'm sorry that your son will have heart problems and send good thoughts you're way for the best possible outcome. Sorry that was so long.

xooemilyrose

Thank you mamas for your feedback I've since had my son and I'm so in love im going to enjoy this time and hopefully not be bothered by the sperm donor ❤️

20thirteen

Pictures!! Please