Really is there any hope after 2 mc's at age 43?

nyc2015

Hi all- new to this particular board.  I so feel the same way everyone describes in their posts.  I wish I were as brave as you, but I feel I am not!

Background:  Surprise first pregnancy at 40... Miscarried by 6 weeks, natural but had to be admitted to hospital for hemorraghing.

Too scared for years to try again.  43 decided to try and got pg first month we tried.  Went for 1st ultrasound at 9 wks 3 days and no heartbeat

found.   Had d&c last week.

Given my age, I know it is now or never. (meaning, next month start trying again).   I think I am too afraid to though after 2 losses.  Having testing done

to find the cause of the miscarriage, but know there is a high chance no reason is found.

I know nobody can answer this.  My dr. says if you have regular periods, there is always a chance you can get pregnant each month.

I guess I am just looking for anyone to talk to who is trying after 2 or more losses, or know of success stories for first time mom's in 40s after losses?

Looking into surrogacy and adoption..Both are completely confusing me and so expensive.

Thanks so much for listening to my confusion!  Take care and good luck to all~

mishons26

I know it's hard to lose a child.. I've had 2 miscarriages also. The only advice I can give you is to try again if you feel up to it. You're right, no one knows the outcome but I say if you want a child, do it. Try again.. Both miscarriages weren't the same. That's exactly what my doctor told me. And with them being a few years apart means you could have had a successful one before then.. That's how I see it. Prayers to you!

lifeislove87

Hi and welcome, I'm so sorry you have to be here and for your losses. I do know the fear, heartbreak and desperation that comes with muliple losses as I have had them myself.

Unfortunately I can not give you any life experience. The choice that you have to make is so hard and my heart breaks that anyone has to experience this pain. I wish I had more advice for you or could help you make your decision. I'm sure your doctor has told you that studies have shown that odds are in your favour, that over 70% of people with multiple losses going on to have a child. That being said I also understand the heartbreak and emotional toll of multiple losses and have often thought of surrogacy and adoption myself. I am here to talk if you want.

mrswheelo

Im sorry for your losses. I think pgal would be a better place for you to get this information. No one here is pregnant and many have no children, so there will be no "success" stories here. We are all just what the name says TRYING to conceive.

marijaa333

@BeckyP005 gave birth very recently (so may not be able to respond quickly if at all) at age 46, I believe with a donor egg. One of my best friends shared her post-delivery recovery room with a 45 year-old woman who conceived by accident.  Here is another thread on the topic: https://www.babycenter.com/400_anyone-out-there-get-pregnant-naturally-at-the-age-of-43_7191505_67.bc

courtney198078

Hi I just had my 3rd miscarriage but in between I had 2 beautiful girls I am going to start trying again soon my doctor told me that 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage and there is really not a known reason but hopefully your bloodwork will be normal and you can try again my thoughts and prayers go out to you.

peregrinefalconx

There is always hope. I am glad you are getting testing. Without that, you can't really know if there are relatively major obstacles or relatively minor ones. Your MCs could have been related to any number of things, that may not have been age determinate. Once you get all your testing done, you'll have a greater idea of what may or may not work. In terms of checking out all options, I think it is a good idea. The more you familiarize yourself with every option, the more informed you will be, allowing you to ask good questions and make better decisions. This is all very overwhelming and emotional...the more you can reduce those two words, the better off you will be! GL.

4N6s

Never lose hope. Good luck
And look into foster to adopt, it's free.

nyc2015

I wanted to respond sooner to thank you all, but forgot my password and only today the Bump decided to accept my new password!

I hope everyone is doing well.  Thanks so much for the helpful advice and support.

26 days now past d and c.  It has been one rough month as you all know too well.  Think AF is here.  But feel too scared to try again soon.  Not only of a miscarriage again, but of complications/dying during childbirth.  Very unlikely, I know but fear has gotten the best of me.  I have an appointment to see a therapist.  Do want a baby so badly but just so unsure how to go about it now after 2 losses.

Thanks all~

butterscotchjbeans

I think you are very brave. Don't lose faith. You will get trough this, keep us updated. I'm TTC as well, and had 2 early losses. Let's hope for a future healthy pregnancy.