Updating the roll call - who is still here exclusively?

pblge

I really hate this new layout, which is making my transition to the Dark Side much easier. I'd love to transition fully, but I don't want to lose touch with ladies haven't left here. They're really doing a great job building that other board, and it's pretty cool that it's so grass roots. The PAIF board there is much more active than this one, but this one is now the most active board here.

Is anyone still adamant about not switching? Can we convince you to switch? I'd love to just stop coming here entirely!

pblge

Btw, TB also changed its TOU again, the most concerning piece being that they now own all the pics and content we post. It's the same as FB, but still annoying.

pblge

Oh, and here's a great blog that explains everything that's happened in more detail.

CML11

I am 98% here and 2% there. The format hasn't changed on mobile bumping, but I agree it takes me 10 minutes on the comp to figure out where to get to my boards.

The dark side keeps changing my password on me and won't let me change it. So I have to keep creating new screen name versions of cml11

runawaylaurel

I'm 50/50. Stil getting used to the other boards, and still hanging out here to see the other familiar faces (and run the 3rd tri check in for a couple more weeks!). I'm good with converting over completely but don't want to lose anyone here. 

sorrellam30

I just looked over there for the first time, I see a lot of familiar faces. I agree it's hard to leave anyone behind here but maybe I should at least check out that site more!

bears1011

I would love to switch there exclusively, it's a bit much checking and posting on both boards...it actually has been making me post less overall because I feel like I can't keep up with two boards.

jessimi06

I'd like to also move over exclusively, but still pop over here to check on those that haven't.

J&D2007

I'm here exclusively.

weansworld09

I made an account for the other site, but have yet to post anything.

starlightgator

I just read the blog link and am even more confused and frankly annoyed. I'm a high school teacher this really sounds like childish drama. Maybe I'm missing the point and for that I do apologize.

But, I have to admit that when I was struggling with IF and came to this site, I only found kindness and support. Now that I'm blessed and thankful to be here in PAIF, I have continued to find kindness and support and appreciate it very much.

Truthfully, I only found cruelty and drama in my BMB and have seen less since all this drama ensued. I still have no idea where the "other place" is. But, to answer the original post, I'm here, staying here, and haven't found a reason to leave. I guess I just don't like drama.

If there's some info that I'm just not understanding, I would appreciate it if someone could PM me. Thank you.

Justone13

I'm here and here only  

katers79

I created an account on the dark side, but it's kind of a pain in the ass to navigate. I lurk, but have yet to post.

ktabs

I'm lost. What other site? I see info about new policies and new moderators... What are you guys talking about? Is everyone leaving? I wondered why I wasn't getting any responses when I posted on PAIF

DSculley1824

I'm still here. I've lurked on the other site but the layout is soooo confusing that I haven't made an account yet. I do miss my 3T ladies like crazy so I contemplating creating an account so I can check in on their forum with the grad check in. I was fairly new to this group when the drama began so if most of the ladies from here go there then I will follow.

pblge

@ktabs - Did you read the blog post I added? It's nearly impossible to figure out what's up here, as the new mods are crazy delete-happy.

@CML11 - Send a request for help on the dark side--I haven't had any problems like that, so I'm not sure what's up!

@sunshinedaisies000 - I'm not sure. I think they're supposed to be honoring delete requests, but I haven't tried.

@katemonster1 - I thought they'd fixed this. There was a NSFW url, but have you tried the other (it's banned, so I can't post it).

@starlightgator - I feel like this is about 5% childish whining, and about 95% outrageous overreach by the board admins. I do think there are people who left for stupid reasons--lots of people on my BMB were comparing the new TOU to North Korea, which makes me want to throttle them--but the vast majority of people left for really good reasons. The banning (and later wholesale firing of any left standing) of the mods was ridiculous, as some of those people (our own NariaDreaming, especially) were incredibly dedicated and giving to these communities, and they were suddenly locked out with their histories deleted with absolutely no justification. But I think what really did it for a lot of people was when entire board histories were unceremoniously deleted. Imagine how you'd feel if suddenly the 100s of pages of history and wisdom shared on the IF and TTTC boards were suddenly deleted with no rationale provided. Well, that's exactly what happened on TTCAL, Parenting, and TTGP. These absurd incidents were interspersed with PAs that insulted the community, such as referring to the deleted mods as "bad apples."

I am really impressed with the other boards, and the frantic attempts by the admins there to adopt changes and policies to meet the needs of an exploding grassroots community. It's still in its infancy, so there are kinks to be worked out, but I've been happier and happier with how it's functioning, and more and more disappointed with things here. I also haven't found the layout to be problematic at all, once I adjusted (although the notification system is pretty annoying, but it will likely be fixed).

Remember: we are not the consumers of TB, we are its products. The consumers are the advertisers. A lot of people just don't want to provide these asshats with additional income.

So, @justone13, @J&D2007, and others still in contemplation - think you could make the switch?? ;;)

gsancho

I keep trying to figure out how to share my feelings on this without sounding bitchy or hypocritical...sometimes I feel like others may think I'm teetering in the middle too much.  To answer the main question, I'm on both boards.  I end up being more active on here b/c I can't always access the other place at work.  And while I see more activity on each post at the other place, I see more threads on here - so the two are a good balance, IMO.  

I definitely think XO handled everything so poorly, the people running the ship are idiots, and I 100% understand those that wanted to leave (or those still considering it).  I left some poor reviews and tried emailing a couple of advertisers to alert them of the problems on the site, to try and discourage them from advertising on TB or in the XO network.  

At the same time, I didn't appreciate feeling pressured to leave.  I don't think it happened here as much as on the BMB.  But a lot of it has felt like this "You're with us or you're with them" mentality.  Some comments were made on my BMB that if you didn't participate in the 24hrs of silence you were a traitor...all of the posts invading new threads about how everyone needed to leave...in the end, it comes off a bit dramatic.  As much as I enjoy the other place and will continue to post there, I don't feel like fully leaving here.  

And maybe I'm jaded b/c I work in digital advertising and meet execs and sales directors from other sites and companies...but there are so many ass holes running so many sites, if I tried to battle against all companies/sites run by idiots, I barely be online.  Seriously - I've had high up people from popular sites say to me I should be more sexual to get ahead in my career, some have straight up said racists comments...there are so many shady companies out there.  I just don't feel like this is a battle I want to pick.  So I enjoy both sites.

gsancho

OMG, I wrote a book - sorry.  And I know you weren't looking for general opinions in your answer and more of a roll call.  I've just had all of this on my mind.

Giants721

I'm here. It is much slower and I find myself being online less, which I kind of like. I've liked the support I've gotten and will continue to give support. Maybe I'll lurk the other board because I miss the familiar faces.

ktabs

@pblge‌ thank you! I have read it now! Wow! I missed a ton apparently. It appears everyone stood their ground! The other site looks super confusing and I am in Jamaica (mon) right now but as soon as I am home and not on a tiny iPhone screen, I will try to catch up!

starlightgator

@pblge‌ Thank you for clarifying. I appreciate it.

1220winterbride

I'm here on TB exclusively. I am too lazy to check both and I don't want to leave the others

chicory

I have lurked over there three or four times, but have otherwise been only here. The blog post confirmed that the drama is much bigger than I imagined....over my head, to be sure, My experience at TB since joining in Nov 2013 has been finding a community of women (3T and then IF) who gave me the support and knowledge to navigate infertiity. Some women on here have formed IRL friendships. I have not, but that's not what I was looking for. I care about all of the women here and there, and when I've lurked, I've looked for the SNs I remember that inspired or helped me along the way. I don't know what I'm going to do. Things are definitely slowing down over here. I guess it would make sense to create an account at the other site. Another part of me thinks maybe it's time to step away from forums altogether - cut my screen time and focus on life in the real world. (Saying that makes me sad because it sounds like I got what I wanted - to get pregnant - making it OK to ditch those who helped me get here, which is not actually how I feel.) I guess I'm not sure...but I see myself drifting away already.

mrs.willie

I've been here exclusively. I had taken a look at the other site, but TB is so much easier to navigate on mobile. There wasn't a lot of activity at the other place before, but now it looks like a lot more and this place is a lot slower now. I miss seeing everybody in one place. I loved PAIF. I created an account over there and I guess I'll try it out and see.

iheartsippycups2

I am only here

sweetpotato123

I created an account over there, but never got the hang of it. I guess I'm just used to the format over here.

CML11

Thanks @pblge‌ I will try that

Kam10

Right now I'm only here, but after the shenanigans this morning when my full name was showing I may rethink that decision.

danie0520

What is this other site? I'd like to join that as well.

pblge

@danie0520 - Google G-o-o-d-b-y-e-C-B without the dashes.

AmCheri

I'm here, though I know most of you don't know me. I have no intention of joining another site. Just don't have the time or interest in getting riled up over what has happened here. There has been and will always be drama on this website, and the sister websites. Between work and having a toddler, I'm lucky to have much time to check in here.

AmCheri

I'd like to add that the BMBs have long been known for being snarky boards. IF, IFV and PAIF always seemed like an oasis from the BMB bullcrap, and it really was just that. If you are here to give and receive support, there's nothing that you can't find on PAIF. You can have the sense of community and friendship you might have found on the BMBs here, without the drama. It's all about what the members of this board want to make it. I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm old, and busy, and have a lot of important things going on in real life, but I just don't care about the drama around here. It feels very fifth grade, not just on behalf of members but also on behalf of administration.

pblge

AmCheri said:

I'd like to add that the BMBs have long been known for being snarky boards. IF, IFV and PAIF always seemed like an oasis from the BMB bullcrap, and it really was just that. If you are here to give and receive support, there's nothing that you can't find on PAIF. You can have the sense of community and friendship you might have found on the BMBs here, without the drama. It's all about what the members of this board want to make it. I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm old, and busy, and have a lot of important things going on in real life, but I just don't care about the drama around here. It feels very fifth grade, not just on behalf of members but also on behalf of administration.

I'm sure you didn't mean it this way, but this came across pretty insulting to me. As if those of us who want to leave, or who have left, in protest have less full or important lives, or are just immature.

After yesterday's security breach, I'm pretty confident I'm gone soon, although I'm hoping more people will also make this switch. This place is beyond ridiculous.

MKateG

I have been exclusively her... BUT I just found the dark side today after needing BF advice but found out tb made it where no one can see amyg's posts. I created an account it seems easy to navigate so far. I was so discouraged after talking to my LC that I needed another opinion or at least some support. I do plan on staying here to keep up with everyone.