NBR: Bridesmaid bummer

GASuzuki

So I'm gonna be in a wedding in March. I will be around 24/25 weeks. I can't believe how much I've spent since agreeing to be a bridesmaid. Things seem to have really changed since I got married. Granted, I got married 14 years ago, but WOW! I spent $289 on a dress that I had to spend $96 more dollars to alter. I'm gonna have to buy $75 shoes I will never wear again. I have also just been told by the bride we each have to fork over $125 for hair and makeup. 

Do people really always have to pay all of these costs? When I got married, my husband and I paid for everything. I know these days girls pay for their own dresses, but hair and makeup?!

Am I just getting really old and out of it?

KateLouise

I paid for everything for my bridesmaids except their shoes because we were all in different countries, and I just told them to find some black strappy sandals that they thought they would wear again.

I think if the bride expects you to look a certain way hair/ make-up/shoes/jewellery then they better be prepared to pay for it.

CML11

That does seem really high! I tried to keep the cost way down for my girls including letting them choose their own black shoes (who really cares as long as they are the same color!), which most wore a pair they already owned.
Also you can opt to do your own hair and make-up. I had one bridesmaid do this, didn't bother me at all. She still looked great.

It's not cheap to be in a wedding! I would much rather be a guest any day!!!

ewenner

That seems high to me.  When we got married (4 years ago), my bridesmaids did pay for their dresses, which were about $125.  I told them to wear whatever brown shoes they wanted, so they hopefully didn't have to run out and buy something new.  I paid for manis/pedis the day before as part of my thank you gift to them. They all did their own hair and makeup, because I didn't really care how they did it.  I guess it just depends on how particular the bride is that her wedding party looks a certain way.  Sorry you have to spend so much!  

AASykes

I worked at a David's Bridal. Be glad that's all your alterations were. I think the hair and makeup cost is ridiculous. I let my girls do their own hair, wear their own shoes and I bought their dresses.

jerseygirl227

Sounds like a lot to me.  I am getting married next year and I hope that my wedding gown doesn't cost as much as what you paid for your bridesmaid dress, lol.

I guess all ladies are different though.  Weddings (and being in weddings) is definitely not cheap.

niknak1208

That's insane!! It is expensive to be a bridesmaid but that's a lot of cash!! I got married 10 years ago. My bridesmaids did buy their own dresses which were $189. But they picked the dresses. I told them floor length, red and I basically let them pick what they were comfortable in. I told them to wear shoes they had or get shoes they would wear again. You couldn't see them under the dress snyways! I got us all cute flip flops for our reception. I paid for their hair which was just an updo! $60..not $125 and they did their own make up.

I also did not expect gifts from any of them. My mother in law is a seamstress and did all alterations for free.

I think that's a lot to expect from your bridesmaids!!

supersarah77

That is pretty typical to pay for your own dress, shoes, hair/makeup... Plus shower and wedding gifts, bachelorette party, travel and hotel to attend the wedding... It's definitely expensive to be a bridesmaid. I have been one 5 times in the last 17 years and that's always been the case for me.

However, the cost really depends on the bride. Three out of five times for me the bride picked cheap dresses, let us get our own shoes, and do our own hair/makeup. One had an expensive dress and dyed shoes. But only one was a complete bridezilla and wanted to control every detail down to the nail polish color.

A $400 bridesmaid dress?? That's crazy! Even the bridezilla's dresses were half that cost. Your costs are definitely on the expensive end. No mercy from that bride!

ETA: My own wedding we only had a best man and matron of honor. We just asked them to wear a gray dress and suit of their choosing and we supplied the flowers and tie/pocket square. Never even saw it ahead of time. They looked great!

mindaa

Yeah, I've read similar stories on other boards that have a younger crowd. Kinda makes me glad I've never had a ton of close girlfriends that want me in their wedding. It is crazy, but I don't know if it is totally a new thing - I got married 9 years ago and it was normal for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dress.

I didn't do... since there were only two, one was in college and the other coming from out-of-state. I paid for the dress (and let them pick the style) and hair/makeup. (Wasn't forced, only if they wanted to come get it done while I was)

mattandlora

I gave them color guidelines for shoes but let them pick their own. I booked someone to do hair and gave them the option of having it done (at their own cost), but it wasn't a requirement.

Sharon&Paul

The recent weddings I have been in the bride picked a color for the dress and length. Then we could pick out any dress we wanted. i was able to get the Davids bridal $99 sale and one came from ebay. I opted out of make-up for the last wedding and decided to only pay to get my hair done. Shoes have always been just a black or silver shoe of our choice.

MCH77

My sister (13 years younger than me) is getting married in April. I made it clear she could put me in whatever dress she wanted, but do not make me buy shoes. I've bought shoes for 3 weddings and never wore them again (1 pair I threw out in the hotel after the wedding), she gave in. It's still going to be crazy $$$. Dress, hotel, gifts, hair, my son is the ring bearer, etc... Ugh.

I love my sister. I love my sister. I love my sister.

cneiding

wow that is steep!  When I got married which was a long long time ago...but I had the bridesmaids dresses made by some seamstresses that specialized in weddings.  I took a picture from a bridal magazine to them and they were able to make them much cheaper than buying them already made.  I bought all the fabric as a thank you type gift for my bridesmaids.  I bought them their jewelry too.  They paid the seamstresses which was like $99 per dress finished and done to a perfect fit for each of them.  I did not care what shoes they had as long as they were the color of the dress.  We all did each other's nails after the rehearsal dinner and I did not care how when or where they got their hair and makeup done.  Everyone did their own and helped each other.