MIL rant — The Bump
March 2014 Moms

MIL rant

This will be long, but I might just explode if I don't get it out...

This all started because I have a conference in April for work and DH is going with me.  It is cheaper to drive to DFW to fly direct to nashville then flying out of our home town.  My Parents live in the DFW area so it makes since for them to watch LO and our dog.  Just drive up, and my Mom will drop us off at the airport, and pick us up.  I did not ask my MIL to do this because we would have to drive to her house, then drive to San Antonio ( 2 hours away) to get to the airport, leave the truck in parking in SA, fly to DFW then catch the flight to Nashville.  My MIL was pouting about her not being able to keep LO so I decided this last trip to the ranch this season I would let MIL keep LO for the weekend (Thursday night to Sunday) more as a test run for me since I have not left LO for that long ever.  Just a little back ground here to help it all make sense.   MIL and FIL are divorced and MIL recently has decided she does not like FIL since he gets to see LO frequently (FIL, DH, LO and I go to the ranch frequently during season).  The only thing I asked of her is that on Sunday if she could drop LO off at FIL house instead of meeting me at closest town (45 minutes away) that would be great to allow me and FIL to see her for a short while before having to get back in the car and drive another 2.5 hours. When asked she did not say anything, you could tell she was getting pissed, then said You know what pisses me off, that he (FIL) gets to see her so much and I don't.  - personally I don't see what this has to do with anything.  But then she grudgingly said she would do it.  So the short of it,  she was pissed that my FIL was going to be able to see LO at all this weekend, and is pissed that I am allowing it!!  WTF,  guess who is not going to be keeping LO for a while?  I am just getting tired of all the bad mouthing she is doing about my FIL.  she is the one who cheated and left, my FIL is a very good man, kind caring and loves LO unconditionally.  I don't appreciate her talking about him and I said something last night before she hung up on me.  the drop off tonight will be interesting.....

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Re: MIL rant

  • Yup. I'd try to avoid her too.

    My MIL complains about not seeing the kids often enough, not about my parents seeing them more. (My parents have only seen the boys 4 or 5 times since LO was born)
    MIL is sick with colds, pneumonia, whatever frequently, so she doesn't take the kids. If she isn't sick, she's tired, so it's no one's fault but her own.

    While I don't have a MIL or FIL thinking its a competition, I do understand how annoying it is when someone complains about something that they've ultimately perpetuated themselves.

  • I can sympathize with you. Both my and DH's parents are divorced. We have a few drama queens that like to compete and complain and try to give guilt trips. I drove my self crazy and stressed out way too much in the beginning trying to make everyone happy. Finally I had to grow some balls so to speak and speak up. We pretty much told them to grow up and that we would know longer listen to them complain about each other or how much time anyone got with our kids. Everyone is welcome to call and plan a visit anytime that we are home and we rotate asking if anyone wants to babysit but we are not going to tell one grandparent that they can't come visit again yet because others haven't had a chance to some over recently. All of our parents live close by, so a visit is normally just a few hours. We also put our foot down about holidays and birthdays...we will no longer drag our kids to 4 different places for each one in addition to making sure that each visit is exactly the same amount of time (yeah we actually tried doing that and still had complaints)! 

    For all special occasions we now tell all grandparents, we will be celebrating at our house at this time and you are welcome to put on your big kid pants and act like adults that can be civil to each other for a few hours to see your grandchildren or you can forgo the event and find another time to come visit. We were just so sick of playing referee and being stuck in the middle! I gues there is no easy answer, but this is the best we have found so far. Best of luck to you!
    kimberpootonandlis
  • I dont mean to be smug, but my weekend plans fell through so I had to call MIL and let her know that I was staying home this weekend.  I did feel guilty and invited her up to visit if she wanted to.

     

    Damn my guilt.

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Guilt or no guilt, it was probably the best thing to do. :-/ although, I wouldn't want to be around her either if she is going to act like a toddler crying over their toy.

    I'm sorry you have to deal with that crap. My MIL and FIL are divorced also, but thankfully they are very amicable and are regularly conversing at family functions. My MIL sees LO far more often than FIL (simply because MIL lives 10 minutes away, and FIL lives 3 hours away), but never has he once complained about MIL seeing her more. He just wishes he could be around more. I think it really hurts his feelings that she cries when he holds her, but she just doesn't recognize him :( anyway, he would never get angry at MIL for that.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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  • Guilt won out.  She did not come visit this weekend, but I did set up for her to watch LO next weekend, just Friday and Sat night.  Mainly realized how much I need a few days of Me only time...
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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